28 Plain Language: Sentence Structure
Writing well means writing concisely. Eliminate complex structures and unnecessary words so that your reader can focus on the most important parts of your message.
Learning Objectives
After you complete this chapter, you will be able to
- apply strategies to write more clearly and concisely
- use active voice (PLAIN, 2011, p. 26)
- eliminate unnecessary lead-ins
- avoid expletive constructions (OWL Purdue, 2018)
- use strong verbs
- omit redundant words (OWL Purdue, 2018)
Use Fewer Words
Use the Active Voice[1]
The active voice makes it clear who is supposed to do what. In an active sentence, the person or agency that’s acting is the subject of the sentence. In a passive sentence, the person or item that is acted upon is the subject of the sentence. Passive sentences often do not identify who is performing the action. Passive sentences are also more grammatically complex and less concise than active sentences.
Passive: The budget was approved by the accounting department.
Active: The accounting department approved the budget.
However, there are times when the passive voice is appropriate. You might use the passive voice to give bad news, especially when you want to avoid saying who is responsible for a particular action. Compare these two sentences:
Passive: The report has been accidentally deleted.
Active: John Jones accidentally deleted the report.
If you were John, which sentence do you hope will be used in a company-wide email? In this case, the passive sentence might be more appropriate to conceal who has deleted the report.
Compare the passive voice and active voice constructions below. Which is more clear and concise?
Image of verb chart reproduced from The Plain Language Action and Information Network (PLAIN). (2011, May). Federal Plain Language Guidelines, revision 1 [pdf], p. 20. https://bit.ly/3v4HXvv
Learning Check[2]
Eliminate Unnecessary Lead-ins
Avoid starting a sentence with an unnecessary phrase that doesn’t add any meaningful content to your message.
| Wordy lead in: | l am writing to let you know that our summer hours begin on Monday, June 1. |
| Concise: | Our summer hours begin on Monday, June 1. |
| Wordy lead in: | This essay is about how low context communicators are more direct than high context communicators. |
| Concise: | Low context communicators are more direct than high context communicators |
Avoid Expletive Constructions[3]
Another way to reduce wordiness is to avoid starting sentences with expletive constructions like there is/are and it is/was. Sentences that start with these empty phrases are not concise or well-written. Whenever possible, begin your sentence with the subject followed closely by the verb and object.
| Wordy expletive construction: | It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills. |
| Concise phrasing: | The governor signs or vetoes bills. |
| Wordy expletive construction: | There are four rules that should be observed during meetings. |
| Concise phrasing: | Four rules should be observed during meetings. |
| Wordy expletive construction: | There was a big explosion, which shook the windows, and people ran into the street. |
| Concise phrasing: | A big explosion shook the windows, and people ran into the street. |
Use strong verbs
Use a single strong and descriptive verb rather than a phrase containing a noun and a verb. Your sentence will be more concise and the action of the sentence will be emphasized.
| WORDY PHRASE | VERB |
| come to a conclusion | conclude |
| make an assumption | assume |
| reach a decision | decide |
| conduct a review | review |
| write a revision | revise |
Compare these wordy sentences with the more concise revisions.
| Wordy | Weather forecasters made a prediction of a cold winter. |
| Concise with strong verb | Weather forecasters predicted a cold winter. |
| Wordy | The students conducted a review of their peers’ research papers. |
| Concise with strong verb | The students reviewed their peers’ research papers. |
| Wordy | The professors reached a decision to enter a report in the academic integrity system. |
| Concise with strong verb | The professors decided to enter a report in the academic integrity system. |
Eliminate Redundant Words[4]
Sometimes we pair words together and use two words when we could – and should! – use only one.
| Don’t Say | Do Say |
| past memories | memories |
| various differences | differences |
| colour green | green |
| basic fundamentals | fundamentals |
| future plans | plans |
| free gift | gift |
| unexpected surprise | surprise |
| very unique | unique |
Notice how eliminating the redundant words makes the sentence much more clear and concise:
| Wordy: | Before the travel agent was completely able to finish explaining the various differences among all of the many very unique vacation packages his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her future plans. |
| Concise: | Before the travel agent finished explaining the differences among the unique vacation packages his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her plans. |
Learning Check[5]
CHECKLIST | Conciseness
❑ Have you used the active voice?
❑ Have you eliminated unnecessary lead-ins and expletive constructions?
❑ Have you replaced noun conversions (and –ize words) with strong verbs?
❑ Have you eliminated redundancies, empty words, and empty phrases?
Additional Resources to Practice Concise Writing
Check out the OWL Purdue website for exercises on eliminating wordiness. There are three different exercises. Compare your answers with the suggested answers in the answer key.
- Examples of active and passive constructions are from The Plain Language Action and Information Network (PLAIN). (2011, May). Federal Plain Language Guidelines, revision 1. https://www.plainlanguage.gov/media/FederalPLGuidelines.pdf. ↵
- O'Flahavan, L. (2020, April 13). Writing in plain language with Leslie O'Flahavan. LinkedIn Learning. https://www.linkedin.com/learning/writing-in-plain-language. ↵
- Examples of expletive constructions are adapted from the Purdue Online Writing Lab (OWL). (2018, November 7). Conciseness: Avoid common pitfalls. Purdue University. https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/academic_writing/conciseness/avoid_common_pitfalls.html. ↵
- Purdue Online Writing Lab (OWL). (2018, November 7). Conciseness: Avoid common pitfalls. Purdue University. https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/academic_writing/conciseness/avoid_common_pitfalls.html. ↵
- O'Flahavan, L. (2020, April 13). Writing in plain language with Leslie O'Flahavan. LinkedIn Learning. https://www.linkedin.com/learning/writing-in-plain-language. ↵
