14 Active, Critical Reading
Your brain uses a variety of techniques when you are reading. These are helpful in letting you read quickly. However, sometimes your brain may “fill in the blanks” to add information that isn’t there. Therefore, reading for detail, information, and opinion can require more attention, especially if the information is new. In college you may find an increased amount of reading, especially in your introductory courses when you are learning new terminology, definitions, and theories in your field of study. For this reason, active reading is important to help you remember what you’ve read and then recall it later.
Learning Objectives
After completing this chapter, you will be able to:
- Define active and critical reading
- Employ strategies to be a more effective reader
- Take notes using the Cornell method
Purposes for Reading
The purpose of reading can be personal or academic.
Active Reading
When you read actively, you are engaging with the text in a deeper and more complex way than when you are reading just for pleasure or for personal reasons. Active readers are concerned about understanding and remembering what they’ve read, so they make sure to focus on the text by making notes and highlighting important terms and ideas.
Watch the following Learning Portal video on strategies you can use to become a more active reader[1].
Critical Reading
Active reading will help you understand and retain what you’ve read. However, in college you are often asked to evaluate, analyze, and assess a reading by comparing what you’ve read to your previous knowledge and to other texts on the subject.
Some students may wonder why they have to use critical reading skills. Why can’t the instructor just provide the true answers or methods in one PowerPoint or textbook? Sometimes it is possible – and necessary – to provide detailed, accurate information in one handbook: for example, pharmacology manuals, accounting standards, and engineering manuals.
However, in many cases, you will be required to assess the accuracy, point-of-view, bias, currency, and reliability of texts and information you encounter online and in traditional texts. Also, you need to be exposed to other points of view on a topic, including those you don’t agree with.
Employers in many fields of work expect college graduates to quickly analyze and assess information in the workplace and judge its usefulness. Often new information will need to be applied immediately at work.
For all of these reasons, critical reading is an essential skill.
Critical reading requires you to read not only for facts and opinion, but to also assess, analyze, and make judgements about the texts.
Reading critically includes asking the following questions:
- How does the structure, word choice, and writing style affect your opinion of the writing?
- How do facts and opinions in this text compare or contrast with other information you’ve read or heard?
- Is the evidence provided primarily or ? Is it reliable and persuasive?
- Is the writer’s argument sound and valid or does it contain or ?
- Is the reading a current, relevant, accurate, and authoritative source of information? What is the writer’s purpose or point of view on the topic? See the Researching chapter of this e-text for more information on how to evaluate the reliability of a reading.
Strategies for Effective Reading
College reading assignments may require much more in-depth attention and may be more time-consuming than reading you have done in your leisure time or for personal reasons. Use these strategies to help you become a more active and effective reader.
1. Preparing to Read
If you are reading a chapter in a textbook, first familiarize yourself with the textbook as a whole. Glance through the table of contents, sections of the book, introductions, glossary of terms and practice quizzes. Then explore the assigned chapter. Determine how much time you need to set aside to read it by considering how long and complex the chapter is. Look at any headings, illustrations, tables, and review questions. Read the introduction and summary. Get an understanding of the “gist” or main points of the reading before you start reading closely for specific details.
Before you begin reading, remember your purpose. Has your professor provided specific questions for you to answer? Will you be quizzed on this material? Do you need to form a point of view on the material so that you can participate in a class discussion? Make a list of questions that you hope to answer in your readings; this will improve your focus as you read. Reading Plan to read the required section twice.
2. Reading for Gist
The first time you read, read the entire chapter or article all the way through. Focus on gaining an understanding of the main point, or gist, of the reading. What is it about? What is the most important information? If a point of view is expressed, how is that opinion supported?
To make the reading more meaningful, try to visualize the reading as images in your mind, or reflect on your personal experiences and prior knowledge of the subject.
3. Reading for Details
Once you have a good understanding of the article in general, now you can read for specific information.
Take the first question you have prepared or from the assignment; begin to read the chapter and stop when you have found the answer. Highlight it or write it down in short form and leave space for further notes. Keep reading the chapter, answering the questions as you go.
Sometimes your teacher will ask you to find the main idea of a text or paragraph. This can be challenging and confusing. Here are some steps to follow:
- Read the entire text or paragraph to understand the gist. Look at the title, headings, and/or illustrations for a clue to the main idea.
- Read the last paragraph or sentences; usually the summary of the main idea will be there.
- Sometimes you will need to re-read the text to identify the main idea.
- Answer these questions about the reading: What is the focus or main topic of this text? What is the writer’s point of view? Are alternate points of view given? What evidence is provided to support the author’s point of view?
- Answer these questions about the topic: Who? What? Where? When? And How?
Whatever your purpose, during the second reading maintain focus on the reading by keeping an internal summary and reread sentences or sections as necessary, and use annotation techniques (circling, highlighting, and making notes in the margins) to draw attention to important details, key ideas, and important vocabulary words.
Highlight main ideas and important details, but avoid highlighting entire sentences or minor points or examples. Highlight only the most important information. In the margins, add questions and comments about information that intrigues or confuses you. You can also add images and diagrams to enhance your understanding. Use margin notes to personalize the text. Circle and then look up any unknown words that you think are important to the subject – remember, you don’t need to know every word in a reading to understand it, but you do need to know relevant technical terms. Keep a list of new vocabulary in a special notebook or Word document.
4. Reviewing
After you’ve completed a thorough reading, you may want to take notes on what you’ve read. Taking notes is an excellent way to solidify your learning and to ensure that you can find key information quickly when you need it.
Watch the following Learning Portal video to learn about the importance of taking notes to improve your learning[2]:
Many people recommend using the “Cornell Note-Taking” method to take notes. This method can be used to take notes from readings and also to take notes from class lectures. The image below gives an example of how a page can be broken down during the note-taking process[3]:
Watch the following Learning Portal video to learn how to use the Cornell note-taking method[4]:
Once you’ve completed your notes, you can use them to help you study. If you were reading to answer specific questions, cover up the answer and key ideas you have written on the right-hand side of your Cornell notes. Can you still answer the question? Check your mental review against what you have written.
In class, add any additional information from your instructor to your notes.
The following reading tips come from A Guide for Successful Students, an open resource available under the CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 license The following reading tips come from A Guide for Successful Students, an open resource available under the CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 license [5].
Additional Reading Tips
Pace yourself: Figure out how much time you have to complete the reading assignment.
Divide your work: Divide the assignment into smaller blocks rather than trying to read the entire assignment in one sitting.
Schedule your reading: Set aside blocks of time, preferably at the time of day when you are most alert, to do your reading assignments.
Prioritize your work: Read the most difficult assignments early in your reading time when you are freshest.
Choose your environment: Choose to read in a quiet, well-lit space. Read in an upright position at a desk or on a couch. Your position should be comfortable and your body supported.
Avoid distractions: Active reading takes place in your short-term memory. Every time you move form task to task, you have to “reboot” your short-term memory and you lose the continuity of active reading.
Avoid reading fatigue: Work for about fifty minutes and then give yourself a break for 5-10 minutes. Put the book down, walk around, get a snack, stretch, or do some deep kneed bends. Short physical activity will do wonders to help you feel refreshed.
Make it interesting: Try connecting the material you are reading with your class lectures or with other chapters. Ask yourself where you disagree with the author. Approach finding answers to your questions like an investigative reporter. Carry on a mental conversation with the author.
- The Learning Portal/Le Portail d’Apprentissage. (2016, August 31). How to use active reading techniques [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVZLUQSPuhc. ↵
- The Learning Portal/Le Portail d’Apprentissage. (2021, February 4). Why you should take notes to improve learning [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxFbMqxXCVE. ↵
- Veillieux, H. (2022, April 12). Cornell-NT-Method_infographic [Digital Image]. In Active, Critical Reading. Confederation College. https://bit.ly/3jBswHy. CC BY 4.0. ↵
- The Learning Portal/Le Portail d’Apprentissage. (2016, September 1). How to use the Cornell note-taking method [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrKfZ5VYWCQ. ↵
- Stewart, I., & Maisonville, A. (2019). Chapter 12: Reading. In A guide for successful students. St. Clair College. https://ecampusontario.pressbooks.pub/studyprocaff/. CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. ↵
EDITORS NOTE: Watch out for words that look complete but are not:
e.g., mstead - 'm' is in place of 'in' — I've also seen 'c' and 'l' put together to make a 'd' (cl vs. d). The editor seems to recognizes some of these missteps as words, especially in the case of 'cl', and won't underline the word for correction.
Business Style: Word Choice, Conciseness, and Tone
Learning Objectives
- Use plain, precise, and familiar language to make your point, prevent misunderstanding, and write with impact.
- Identify and eliminate problem words that do not convey your meaning clearly and directly.
- Choose accurate and appropriate words to create constructive, inclusive, reader oriented messages.
- Identify strategies for writing concise messages.
- Develop a conversational and confident tone and adjust it to suit a range of writing purposes, professional situations, and readerships.
- Differentiate between personal and impersonal styles.
A few decades ago, legal contracts, from the most detailed business agreements to the most routine mortgage forms, were written in a formal style full of twisted sentences and difficult language (called legalese) that often made key concepts, obligations, and rights impossible to understand. In Canada, banking and insurance industries were at the forefront of the transition from this type of writing to a plain language style. In 1979, Royal Insurance of Canada was producing the first plain-language insurance policy and Scotiabank was working with lawyer Robert Dick to redesign and rewrite its loan forms. Through the mandate of the Canadian Bankers Association (CBA), Scotiabank has maintained its commitment to plain language: "We know that plain language makes sense for our customers. And it also makes sense for us-saving time by eliminating confusion and improving communication within our organizations and with our customers:'2
Developing an effective business writing style is the key to reaching your readers and to conveying your intended message. Style comprises the rules, conventions, and options you need to consider whenever you write. These practices apply to the words you choose and combine to form sentences: how correct they are, how well they support the substance of your information and ideas, and how right they are for particular situations and audiences. Effective business style also involves thinking about how words "sound" and how your readers are affected by the words you use. With practice, you can learn to vary your style to suit a variety of situations.
Good style creates a good impression, not just of you but of the company you represent. By paying attention to the language you use, you can eliminate the frustration caused by communication that is hard to read, confusing, or uninformative and thereby build and sustain business relationships. Savvy communicators know that a clear, crisp, adaptable style kept as tight, lean, and factual as possible can simplify everyday tasks and make information manageable. In the long term, good writing supported by an effective business style is a major contributor to career growth and a vital factor in building personal and corporate credibility.
Word Choice
PLAIN STYLE
The need for clear, understandable, concrete language is not unique to the age of high speed communication. Centuries ago, when people first began to write for science and business and industry, demands were heard for the kind of simplicity and economy that is now the hallmark of plain style or plain language.
Plain style makes it acceptable for you to write in the same everyday language that you use when you speak and helps you to reach your readers instead of putting your audience at a distance. One of the aims of plain style is to banish dead and empty words in favour of lively, expressive ones that readers connect with immediately and remember easily. Because it saves time, puts readers first, and makes ideas and information meaningful, plain language is good for business. For a sense of the impact plain language can have, note the difference in the following sentences:
I will be responsible for actioning and undertake a prioritization of my commitments in terms of my daily scheduling.
I will arrange my daily schedule.
The case for putting plain language into wider practice continues to gain momentum. In recent decades, the international plain-language movement — dedicated to presenting information so it makes sense to most people and can be acted upon after a single reading — has gained the endorsement of government agencies, businesses, professions, and industries that value comprehensibility over management speak and the bureaucratic bluster of legalese. Plain style, with its pared-down, keep-it-simple approach, is characterized by a few common-sense principles:
- Use common, everyday words, except for necessary technical terms. Language should be familiar and accessible, not pretentious.
- Use reasonable sentence lengths. Aim for twenty words or fewer to avoid padding or needlessly overloading sentences.
- Use active-voice verbs and phrasal verbs. Active voice verbs show who or what performs an action. Phrasal verbs are simple and informal, combining verbs and prepositions to deliver their meaning (for example work out instead of devise) (See also Chapter 4, "Applying Active and Passive Voice," pp 110-12.)
- Use personal pronouns: I, you, and we. Personal pronouns used in moderation in all documents except formal reports, give you the fluency to say what you need LO with as little awkwardness as possible.
- Use unambiguous language. Ambiguity refers to an inexact expression that has multiple meanings and 1s therefore open to interpretation (for example, does Ricardo likes boring classmates mean that Ricardo likes to bore classmates or that he likes classmates who are boring?). Good communicators do their best to prevent ambiguity from creeping into their writing.
- Place the subject as close as possible to the verb. The meaning of a sentence relies on the clear relationship of its subject and verb. Tangled sentences result when long modifying phrases separate these all-important elements.
voice: a term that describes a verb's ability to show whether the subject of a sentence acts or is acted upon
phrasal verb: a verb that combines with one or more prepositions to deliver its meaning
pronouns: word that replace or refer to nouns
ambiguity: a term that describes an obscure or inexact meaning
Some writers have a hard time accepting plain style because they think it will make their writing dull or simplistic, but such fears are unfounded Communicating in a plain style won't require you to oversimplify or "dumb down" your content. In fact, an effective plain style gives daily communication energy, impact, and precision that sustains readers' interest and enables them to grasp complicated ideas and activities easily.
WORD CHOICE STEP 1: USE FAMILIAR WORDS
A plain style relies on familiar, accessible language common, everyday words of one or two syllables. Difficult, overstated words tend to be longer, with three or more syllables. In long sentences they can make even the most routine message dense and unreadable. Writers usually resort to long, pretentious, important-sounding words for the wrong reasons — to appear experienced, to intimidate, to impress, or to express authority. Pretentious words can be tempting status symbols and smokescreens, dressing up or hiding you intended meaning, but in the end they usually alienate readers instead of impressing them. Readers often skip over unfamiliar words or only partly grasp their meaning. The consequences of not opting for plain and familiar language can be seen in the following "translation" of a well-known saying:
| Pretentious: | It is preferable to effect the adoption and implementation of precautionary measures than to embark on a regrettable course of action. |
| Plain: | It is better to be safe than sorry. |
If you suspect your own writing is more pretentious than plain, use a readability index (such as Robert Gunning's fog formula) to measure its level of difficulty.
The following tips will help you avoid common word traps:
- Curb your use of words ending in -ize and -ization. Verbs ending in -ize and nouns ending in -ization may sound rich and sophisticated, but they can also lead to an inflated, heavy-handed style that grinds comprehension to a frustrating halt. Some words that fit this category (such as privatize, hospitalize, unionize, maximize, authorization, and specialization) are common and irreplaceable enough to be used without compromising readability. However, many other words ending in -tion, -ment, -ate, and -ism can boggle the mind with their obscurity and obfuscation, so it is important to remember that bigger isn't always better, especially when it comes to these so-called Latinisms that owe their origins to the ancient language of the Roman Empire. The chart below offers some simpler substitutes for bigger, more difficult words:
Plain English -ize Verb -ion Noun make communal use
make best use of
make real
develop a business
finish
communalize utilize
optimize
actualize
corporatize
finalize
communalization utilization
optimization
actualization
corporatization
finalization
- Use words derived from French sparingly. Words that the English language has borrowed from French can sound prestigious and distinctive when used sparingly adding formality to your writing. If overused, though, they can sound contrived and affected when compared with simpler English alternatives.
Plain English French Derivative talk, have a conversation tell, inform
begin, start
converse apprise
commence
- Avoid foreign words and phrases. Phrases such as ad hoc (for a particular purpose) and pro bono (for free) are used in legal documents and formal writing, where they are part of an established idiom. Otherwise, use foreign expressions only when absolutely necessary.
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Plain English Foreign Word/Phrase |
4. Use only job-related jargon. Jargon is the special vocabulary for a group, trade,
profession, or sphere of activity. Terminology of this kind is essential for conducting
business and describing sophisticated concepts and activities accurately and concisely. Certain types of jargon once thought of as specialized-such as computer jargon-are now the stuff of common knowledge. Once-ordinary words such as import, export, and cookie have taken on meanings unique to computing, which in turn have come to be understood by almost everyone. Similarly, many business-related terms, such as fixed rate, intangible assets, scalable technology, delist, and buyback describe actions and concepts that cannot be summed up easily in any other way.
Jargon is permissible when it is purposeful and transparent. Because jargon is a private language of the "inner circle," anyone who uses it must be sure that its special terms, abbreviations, and acronyms will be mutualy understood. To ensure that one persons jargon won't be another persons gobbledegook, size up your audience first and define any special terms you may have used in documents intended for a broad readership.
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5. Bypass buzzwords. Buzzwords are fashionable, otten technical-sounding pieces
of jargon. Known as trendy attention-getters, buzzwords sound fresh, current, and
suitably corporate. Their trendiness is part of their appeal, but it is also a large part
of their drawback because they tend to go out of style quite quickly, often through overuse. Some better-known buzzwords include:
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| synergy co-operative or combined action make or become global paradigm shift a fundamental change in approach or philosophy |
Communications professionals are split
on whether buzzwords are a feature of good
Writing. Clunky corporate "doublespeak" can
kill meaning and be a smokescreen, camouflaging financial problems or poor performance-that is why readers distrust it. In fact,
"straight-talking companies" have been shown
to outperform "non-straight-talking companies." Screening documents, especially
external ones, for buzzwords demonstrates reader awareness and concern tor fair
dealing that helps build confidence in your organization.
A final thought about familiar words: use simple language for getting simple,
time-sensitive messages across. Keep in mind that you won't have to shelve
sophisticated vocabulary completely, just re-evaluate and save it for types of writing that require greater finesse or formality. On the job, pay attention to and learn about language preferences in co-workers' documents and consult your organizations style guidelines, if available, to help you make effective vocabulary choices.
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WORD CHOICE STEP 2: USE FRESH AND CURRENT LANGUAGE
To stay competitive, today's businesses make an effort to explore and implement progressive approaches and technologies. It makes sense, then, for them to do business by using contemporary language that reflects and reinforces those aims and creates a corporate image that is modern and up to date.
- Replace clichés. Clichés are descriptive expressions that have been drained of meaning through overuse. Once vibrant and full of impact, they are now trite. Unless a cliché adds uniqueness or, by way of analogy, sums up something that is otherwise impossible to describe, replace it with fresh and direct language. Here are some of the better-known business clichés:
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tighten our belts needless to say |
2. Retire outdated busines expressions. Many commonly used business expressions have outlasted their usefulness. As holdovers from a centuries-old tradition of business protocol, stock phrases of business jargon have slowly lost their meaning for
modern readers, who see them more as artitacts than as communicative tools. Unless your organization recommends a very formal or traditional style, substitute stiff, outmoded business expressions with modern phrases, especially if you want to project a modern, contemporary image for your organization and yourself.
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Old Style New Style pursuant to your request as you requested
|
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3. Eliminate slang. Slang words that are informal and have is the term for colourful, highly informal words or figures of speech that have meaning specific to a particular era, locality, or occupation. Words that fit this category may be new words or familiar words used in new and sometimes humorous ways (for example pony up, which means "to hand over a sum of money").
Most slang has a short shelf life and may have meaning for only a small audience.
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Slang Translation |
Because slang is extravagant and street-smart in its appeal, it has the power to
shock readers who are unprepared for it, making it unsuitable for most protessional
communication. An exception is slang that is specific to business and management,
including widely accepted terms such as telephone tag, team player, walk (resign trom
a job), and spot (a radio or TV commercial). Slangier terms such as tire kicker (a prospective customer who demands a lot of attention but doesn't buy anything) are fun
and unique but may be too informal for general use.
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4. Avoid instant messaging abbreviations and emoticons. The popularity of e-mail,
texting, and social media has brought about a new lexicon special to high-speed
communicators. At the same time, the popularity of instant messaging (IM) and its
adoption by businesses as a productivity tool is having implications for business
style. Features of IM style-smiley-face icons, deliberately misspelled words, and
e-friendly acronyms-make typing dialogue in real time quicker and easier; however, anyone unfamiliar with this cyber-shorthand may view it as an unwelcome
secret language.
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Abbreviation Plain English |
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Limit your use of Internet abbreviations and emoticons (punctuation used to create sideways faces converying emotions: :), :(, :-<, :-D, and so on) to the channel for which they are inteded- IM communication- and leave them out of the office e-mail and formal corresponce. (Appendix A, under the heading "Abbreviations and Acroynoms," covers abbreviations and acryomucs suitable in professional communication.)
WORD CHOICE STEP 3: KEEP LANGUAGE SPECIFIC, PRECISE,
AND FUNCTIONAL
NOveist Mark Twain once wrote, "the difference between the right word and almost the ight word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." Words that are almost ight tantalize but ultimately frustrate readers by hinting at an intended meaning without actually delivering it. When reading involves guesswork, readers cannot be expected to act on instructions, accept decisions, or give new ideas serious thought. Imprecise wording puts writers in a bad light too because poor word choice can be mistaken tor fuzzy logic or unclear thinking. It is worth keeping in mind that the more exact your word choice is. the more persuasive and informative your message will be. Every word you write should be
clear and purposeful. Here are some tips for writing with precision:
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1. Provide specific details that help readers act on information and requests.
Concrete nouns (things knowable by the senses-computer, annual report, resume)
are easier to grasp than abstract nouns (ntangible things knowable through only
the intellect-integrity, loyalty, justice). Use concrete language as much as possible
to support and explain abstract words and show readers exactly what you mean.
Because the language of business is full of intangible abstracts-security, prestige,
profitability, leadership-hard data can be used to make difticult concepts meaningful
to readers.
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Abstract: Our company demands loyalty.
Abstract/Concrete: Our company demands employee loyalty to corporate policy
2. Quantify facts and avoid vague qualitative statements. Tell readers how much,
how many, or what type you mean, specify when something happened or happens, and identify by title or name the agents and recipients of particular actions.
Vague: They received some complaints about it some time ago.
Specific: Our customer service representatives received 36 complaints about Model
G500 in 2013.
Readers, though we might wish otherwise, are not mind readers. They may not understand what descriptive terms such as soon, later, good, bad, nice, numerous, sub- stantially, or a majority really mean. These are terms that are often used out of ness, as hedging devices that sound less harsh and polite- demanding than specific words.
Vague: A majority of employees indicated they would sign the agreement soon.
Specific: Close to 75 per cent of employees indicated they would sign the agreement by Friday.
Vague: The stock is performing poorly. (Which stock? Performing how poorly?) Snecific: Shares of Grocerynet.com lost 15 per cent of their market value in 2013.
3. Avoid ambiguous and non-idiomatic expressions. Ambiguous statements--state ments that are open to interpretaioncan be confusing for readers. For instance, centence such as She said on Thursaay she would drop by the office can mean two eithet that the statement was made on Thursday or that the visit would that dav. As you compose your arart or write your message, check for potential
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multiple meanings and keep in mind that readers like consistency, thus making it important to avoid using two or more names for the same Using idiomatic thing. expressions can also reduce confusion. Idioms are word group- ings that "sound right" to a typical reader and have special meaning distinct from their literal meaning: hand in (submit), look up (search for information), and find out (determine or discover information). Used correctly, these phrasal verbs add punch to
your writing, but they can also be difficult for anyone new to English to remember or decipher. Idiomatic usage also applies to the pairing of prepositions with adjectives (different from) and nouns (use for). For instance, the phrase "to have confidence in" is
correct but "to have confidence on" is not. When you need to know which preposition to pair with a particular word, it is always wise to refer to a college-level dictionary or
an idiomatic dictionary, such as the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary.
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4. Use comparisons and analogies to clarify. Likening an unfamiliar or complex con cept to a familiar one is a common form of explanation. In fact, the business world is
full of descriptive analogies, such as brain drain (a general term used by management
for the cross-border or overseas migration of specialists), which make fuzzy concepts
clear and tangible. When there is no other way to explain a concept, a comparison
can help to bring it into sharper focus. (See also Appendix A, under the heading
"Usage: Differentiating Commonly Confused Words.")
WORD CHOICE STEP 4: PRACTISE FACTUAL AND
ETHICAL COMMUNICATION
How you communicate on the job is a reflection of your ethical standards and those of
your organization. With this in mind, it is important to follow ethical practices in your
workplace communication. Here is a recap of tips for ethical business communication
already discussed in Chapter 1.
- Be reasoned, factual, and moderate in your judgments. Keep personal biases out of
your workplace communication and use only inclusive, non-discriminatory language
(see the following sections). - Consider the impact your communication has on others as well as yourself.
Make sure the actions you endorse are legal and that your communication would
reflect well on you if it were disclosed publicly. Bending the rules, even for a trusted
colleague, might compromise your integrity - Consult qualified colleagues. If you suspect that what you are writing is contentious
or incriminating, seek out experienced co-workers to help you navigate ethical
minefields and find feasible solutions to the wording of important messages
and documents. - Avoid libellous language. As stated in Chapter 1, common law protects every persorn
against libel (printed character defamation).* Words that are harmful and potentially
libellous include drunk, lazy, crazy, crooked, corrupt, incompetent, stupid, maniac, drug
addict, junkie, thief, and crippled. - Be timely and accurate in your communication. Avoid unjustified delays in replying
or processing information. Retain print or electronic copies of important documents. - Avoid untrue, deceptive or miselading statements. There are stiff penalities for all forms of misrepresentation, including false advertising. It is a good policy to back up
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any generalization qualified by entirely, completely, or always with supportable tacts
and evidence.
7. Know what you can and cannot disclose to certain parties. Familiarize yourself
with corporate disclosure practices and confidentiality agreements and handle your
organization's intellectual property with care. Follow proper channels of communication,
know what you can or must communicate, and carefully weigh both sides of an
issue before you act or comment on it.
8. Distinguish between fact and opinion. Let readers know the difference between
unsubstantiated belief or conjecture and verifiable fact. Passing off an opinion as a fact
is misleading and unethical.
9. Don't claim authorship of documents you have not written. The consequences of
plagiarism-not giving credit where credit is due-are serious. Always acknowledge
your sources through notes or citations, and never take credit for ideas that arent
your own.
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For effective writing on the job, opt for language that has the following features: |
Achieving Conciseness
It may come as no surprise that the origin of the term business is busy-ness. Time constraints
and pressing deadlines are the norm for most business people. Therefore,
receive workplace documents that get to the point directly, with an economy of words and
a minimum of clutter. A modest amount of time spent in crafting a concise, easy-to-read,
ey expect to
well-organized message is time saved for your readers. In turn, time saved translates not
just into money earned or saved but into goodwill from the busy people you communicate
with on a regular basis. Compare the following messages-think about how long it takes to
read each one and how the choice of words affects coherence and readability:
Original: This is a just a very brief memo to inform you that it is the opinion of the
employee council that at the present time it is expedient to undertake an
investigation of the possible institution of a proposed on-site fitness centre
Kindly be advised that anytime up to August 31 you should make your views
known to your employee council representative.
Revised: The employee council invites your input on the proposed creation of an on-site
fitness centre. Please contact your employee council representative before
August 31.
Long, indirect ways of expressing things are a major source of wordiness. While conciseness
is a virtue in business communication, the same cannot be said for conciserness that is
overdone, leading to messages that sound uneven, too blunt, or too rude. A little terseness
or even abruptness-like the kind that occurs naturally in a quick e-mail as you move
from one thought to the next--can be expected occasionally and is usually excusable.
Readers may begin to have problems, though, when they encounter a writing style that
is so telegraphic that there is not enough detail or development to make a message lucid,
understandable, or complete. After all, readers should not be expected to supply or mentally
fill in missing words.
Conciseness means using the fewest words to say what you need to accurately and
completely Weighing the need for conciseness against similar concerns for completeness
and politeness is important once you pass the drat phase, where wordiness is understandable.
Knowing what you can eliminate without sacrificing your intended meaning
or ignoring your readers' needs is key to answering the triple demands of conciseness,
completeness, and politeness.
Wordy: Please note that you are requested to read and offer your
comments on the attached file.
Terse: Read this. Get back to mne.
Concise and polite: Please review and comment on the attached file.
Politeness strategies sometimes work at cross-purposes to editing techniques, but it is
still relatively easy to write concise messages that have the right level of courtesy. Editing
documents for conciseness is really a torm of precision revision. You can start by easily
eliminating anything that does not add meaning to your message: long lead-ins, noun
conversions, padded and redundant expressions, needless relative pronouns, and excess
modifiers. Getting rid of sentence padding and achieving conciseness requires only a little
extra time, so avoid falling into the same trap as French mathematician Blaise Pascal, who
once admitted to a friend, "I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to
make it short." Here are nine ways to keep your messages
concise:
- Eliminate long lead-ins. Baseball pitchers warm up in the bullpen before they head
to the mound. Many writers prefer to "limber up" in the same way by starting their
sentences with an introductory phrase or two betore they get to the point. While
softening a message in this way is a common politeness strategy, lead-ins are mostly
unnecessary
because they add nothing to a sentence except for information that is
already obvious (e.g., This message is to infrm you that. . ). Readers in a hurry want
information conveyed to them as directly as possible. Unless extreme politeness is
required, delete any opening phrases ending in that or because. In brief messages
such as routine e-mail, make sure you get to the point before a count of three.
Wordy: l am writing to inform you that parking lot C will be closed for maintenance
Monday, September 30.
Concise: Parking lot C will be closed for maintenance Monday, September 30.
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2. Revise noun conversions. Each type of word has a ditterent purpose. Verbs are
"doing" words that convey actions, conditions, and states ot being. Nouns name
people, places, things, and abstract concepts. When verbs are converted into nouns,
often with the addition of a -tion or -ment ending, they lose their power and agency
like an engine running on empty, and in turn require weak supporting verbs to
convey their actions fully All the attention is then focused on the converted noun
words such as establishment, approval, decision-instead of on the primary action of
the sentence, which is hidden in the long noun phrase. As you review the chart below,
note how affected and formal noun conversion phrases sound when compared with
the verbs from which they are derived:
| Noun Conversion Phrase Verb reach a conclusion conclude make the assumption assume make a decision decide conduct an investigation investigate engage in consultation with consult give consideration to consider give authorization for authorize |
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Noun conversions (or nominalizations, as they are sometimes known) may souna
impressive and can even slow down the pace of your writing, but they will also make
your writing weak and wordy, so it is best to avoid using them.
Wordy: CanPac undertook a revision of its full-year earnings forecast.
Concise: CanPac revised its full-year earnings forecast.
Wordy: Leading economists made a prediction of a stronger Canadian dollar.
Concise: Leading economists predicted a stronger Canadian dollar.
Wordy: City council brought about an amendment to the bylaw. Concise: City council amended the bylaw.
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3. Eliminate redundancies. Redundancies are unplanned repetitions--word pairs that express the same meaning twice. Avoid the following "doubled-up" expressions by eliminating the italicized word:
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repetitions. absolutely essential enter into past experience |
4. Eliminate or revise empty words and phrases. Rid your sentences of imprecise, inexact language. Clear away the deadwood-words that lack meaning--and trim padded expressions.
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Replace With am of the opinion that believe as a matter of fact later at this point in time now, currently, at present by an act of coincidence |
Articles such as the, a, and an are sometimes overapplied. Omit the before plural
nouns expressing generalizations.
Unnecessary Article: The human resources specialists review the applications.
Articles Omitted: Human resources specialists review applications.
Se strong, precise, accurate verbs. Opt for clear, precise, nstructive verbs tar
than extended verb phrases.
Wordy: The learning centre placed an order for materials for the courses.
Elminate the need for intensifiers and quaifiers-words such as really, extremel
ncredibly, definitely, rather-by finding a verb that is an exact tit for the meaning ve
wish to deliver.
Concise: The learning centre ordered course materials.
mely,
you
Wordy: We were really incredibly thrilled to hear of the partnership.
Concise: We were delighted to hear of the partnership.
Avoid poorly defined, ambiguous verbs whose meanings are open to interpretation
Substitute strong verbs for -sion and -tion words.
Weak Verb: Buying market share in foreign markets affected profits.
affected how?)
Precise: Buying market share in foreign markets increased profits by
10 per cent.
Replace weak verbs, such as have and be (am, is, are, was, were) when they occur
alone, with strong ones.
Weak Verb: The CEO is of the opinion that the company will survive the current erisis that has to do with dot-com instability.
Precise: The CEO believes the company will survive the current crisis caused by dot-com instability.
Weak Verb: It is necessary for him to complete the application.
Precise: He needs to (or must) complete the application. Replace could/would/should with strong verbs when action you do not need to show that an is conditional.
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Weak Verb: In her previous job, she would write to charitable foundations.
Precise: In her previous job, she wrote to charitable foundations.
As much as possible, write in the active voice (as opposed to the passive voice, Chapter 4), which se is usually the most concise way to convey an action.
Passive Voice: The script of the speech should be edited and double-spaced.
Active Voice: Edit and double space the script of the speech.
6. Revise prepositional phrases. Prepositions-common words such as in, to, at, oJ
after, with, between-combine wth other words to form prepositional phrases
These modifying phrases show relationships in time and space, indiccating how, when, where or how long something happens. The wordiness of some prepositional phrases can make sentences sound awkwardand overwritten. The phrase can usually be replaced with a single-word modifier.
Wordy: An error in computation was discovered in the report from last spring.
Concise: A computational error was discovered in last spring's report
Prepositions are useful in breaking up long chains of nouns used as adjectives. They
clarity relationships so readers can tell which nouns are modifiers and which nouns
are being modified.
growth management executive training growth management training for executives petroleum diesel replacement fuel-> replacement fuel for petroleum diesel climate change mitigation technologies -> technologies to mitigate climate change
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7. Eliminate fillers. Avoid beginning sentences with empty filler words such as there is/
are and it is/was (when it has not been defined) that force readers to wait for the sub
ject that the entire sentence hinges on. Expletive constructions, as they are called,
act as a common delaying tactic that makes sense only when extreme politeness or
emphasis is called for. Otherwise, delete the expletive and craft a straightforward sen-
tence that begins with the subject, followed closely by verb and object.
Wordy: There are three bids that the board is considering.
Concise: The board is considering three bids
Wordy: Itis paying down debt that is our priority.
Concise: Paying down debt is our priority.
8. Shorten multiple that/which/who clauses. Used to excess, clauses introduced by
that, which, and who create a clumsy stop-and-go sentence ilow. In most cases, you
can drop that, which, or who as well as the verb that immediately follows it. Sometimes
an entire clause can be reduced to a single word by making this simple change.
Wordy: His company, which is reputed to be a leader in employee satisfaction,
hosts regular events for employees who have retired.
Concise: His company, a reputed leader in employee satisfaction, hosts regular
events for retirees.
Wordy: We offer prices that are competitive.
Concise: We offer competitive prices.
9. Combine shorter sentences, reduce clauses and phrases. Use pronouns (that,
which, who, as well as personal pronouns) to combine shorter related sentences and
eliminate monotonous repetition. Reduce sentences to clauses, clauses to phrases,
and phrases to single words.
Wordy: She is a sales representative. She specializes in com mercial real estate.
Concise: She is a sales representative who specializes in commercial real estate.
(second sentence reduced to a clause)
Concise: She is a sales representative specializing in commercial real estate
(second sentence reduced to a phrase)
Concise: She is a commercial real estate sales specialist.
(second sentence reduced to descriptive words)
| Checklist: Conciseness Have you used as few words as possible to make your point?Have you eliminated long lead-ins and sentence fillers?Have you replaced noun conversions (and-ize words) with strong verbs? Have you eliminated redundancies, empty words, and empty phrasesHave yu replaced prepositional phrases with single-word modifiers? Have you shortened clumsy that/which/who clauses and combined short, related sentences? |
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Tone
ers irame of mind, inklings of demand or respect, arrogance or modesty, or concern. This inditterence or impression is a product of tone. Tone refers to the mood of a implied attitude of the writer message-the to the subject and readers. In the absence of vocal inflection and visual cues such as body language, tone in written communication creates an impres- sion based purely on the words that are used and the length and structure of writer happens to choose. sentences the
The tone of a message should support its content and remain beginning fairly consistent from to end. A wide range oi tone is possible in workplace communication, meaning that a casual tone appropriate tor an e-mail message to an associate will be unacceptable in a formal report, which denmands a more serious and depends professional tone. Ultimately, much on the writing situation, purpose, and channel of communication. Once you have determined the tone you want to use, it should remain consistent throughout ment, mainly because erratic, a docu- Jekyll-and-Hyde" shifts in tone give mixed messages unsettle readers and leave them that contused about your attitude and intentions. Make sure the tone you establish supports your content and creates the right impression.
tone the implied attitude of the author to the reader, as
Word reflected by choice.
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TUNE IN TO WORD CONNOTATIONS
Words with similar or overlapping meanings, like the synonyms in a typical thesauru5 entry, rarely mean exactly the same thing. While a word's denotation-its literal, diction ary definition-is something it may share with many synonyms, its connotation-15 imnlied. associative meaning-is distinct in terms of the positive or negative emotional resDonse the word provokes. Ihe way a word atects the reader helps to differentiate pven subtly, from other words witn it, similar or overlapping meanings. Consider the con notation or emotional overtone ot each word in the following series:
Serie cheap/inexpensive/cost-effective/low priced/thrifty/economical
artificial/faux/synthetic/sham/take/man-made/imitation/mock flexible/changeable/fickle/adaptable/compliant/resilient
Implied meaning has the power to shape perceptions, which accounts for why a "pre-owned vehicle" may sound like a better investment than a "used" or "second-hand"
car, even though the products these terms label may be virtually the same. Tuning in to
the connotations of words can help you anticipate your readers reaction to the words you choose. The right words may not just be the ones with the more accurate denotations but
the ones with the most appropriate connotations.
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KEEP YOUR STYLE CONVERSATIONAL
Formality involves the observance of style rules and conventions. Levels of formality
depend mostly on word choice, sentence length, and sentence structure. Most business
writing, with the exception of formal reports, meets the needs of a wide audience with
a mid-level style that is fairly conversational and moderately informal. Writing conver
sationally is as easy as imagining yourself sitting across from your reader and expressing
yourself as you would in an ordinary face-to-face discussion or meeting. In writing your
message as you would say it, try to resist the temptation to be overly chatty or to repeat
yourself. The result should be unforced and natural, not stiff or stully. Naturalness, however,
should never be confused with sloppiness, so keep sentence length manageable, use
correct grammar, and edit to eliminate awkwardness. A written style that is too informal or
casual-with noticeable slang, colloquialisms, and grammar abuses-can give the impres
sion of carelessness and even suggest poor work habits. Wiriters have some freedom to
vary their level of formality from document to document, but a mid-level style is typical
of business letters, memos, informal reports, and most print journalism. Its elements are
summed up in the checklist below:
- even-handed, efficient, conversational tone
- mix of familiar words and business terms
- Correct grammar and standard punctuation
- manageable sentence structure (one to three clauses per sentence)
- single-word verbs and phrasal verbs (ook into instead of investigate; throw out
instead of discard) - occasional contractions ('m, she's, we're, it's, can't, isnt, whos)
- personal pronouns and limited forms of personal address
- slang, legalisms, long words, outdated language
Examples: lam pleased to submit the enclosed report.
Please have a look at the enclosed report.
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SELECT THE RIGHT LEVEL OF FORMALITY:
PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL STYLES
Within the acceptable range of business style, it is possible to be more or less formal and
more or less personal. A personal style puts you and/or your readers into your sentences
through the free use of first- and second-person pronouns (I, me, we, us, you). The impression
it gives is one of warmth, friendliness, and candour, helping to build rapport and
engage readers. Because facts are either delivered from the writers perspective or targeted
Specitically at readers, this style sometimes seems biased or slanted, even when it is not.
Personal style is characterized by the following elements:
- short sentencesS
- personal pronouns
- First names and personal references
- active voice used throughout
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An impersonal style uses only third-person pronouns (he, she, it, one, they). It sounds
detached yet objective, emphasizing facts and concepts rather than the writers perspective.
For this reason, impersonal style is commonly used for announcements and policy
statements. Warmth gives way to efficiency, but the result is not necessarily stuffy or pretentious.
Impersonal style is characterized by the following elements:
- a mix of sentence lengths, including long sentences
- no personal pronouns
- no first names or personal references
- legitimate use of the passive voice
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Personal Style Impersonal Style
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BE POSITIVE
Is the glass half empty or half full? The answer to this question separates the optimists
from the pessimists. Readers usually like to think of their glasses as half full, which means
they are more receptive to good news or neutral news that is free of negativity. Although
you should never knowingly distort facts or ideas just for the sake of putting a positive spin on them, it is worth remembering that positive wording makes messages readerfriendly
and inviting. Unles you are issuing a warning meant to stop or deter certain
actions, it is useful to emphasize what the reader can do instead of what the reader can't.
Negative attitude: You cannot use Verified by Visa until you have been issued a
password.
Positive attitude: You may begin using Verified by Visa once you receive password.
Avoid negative wording for positive or neutral ideas:
Negative wording: You will never be sorry you purchased a three-year extended warranty.
Positive wording: Your three-year extended warranty covers all parts and on-site repairs.
Weigh the impact of blatant or hidden negatives such as regret, mistake, oversight, overlook, rnegligence, neglect, unable, unfortunately, allege, careless, reject, deny, and fail(ure) before
you use them. Used the wrong way, these can be harsh, inflexible words that antagonize
readers by painting them as adversaries or inferiors.
- By failing to park in your assigned space, you caused our visitors a terrible
inconvenience. - Parking spaces adjacent to the entrance are reserved for visitors.
Rely on the subordinating power of grammatical structures such as dependent clauses and
the passive voice (see Chapter 4) to reduce negativity and depersonalize unfavourable facts.
Negative: We cannot extend credit to you at this time.
Less negative: Although credit cannot be extended to you at this time, we look forward
to serving you on a cash basis.
STRESS READER BENEFITS AND RELEVANCE
Occasionally, everyone reads a message only to ask, What does this have to do with me?
Relevant, reader-tocused messages never provoke this reaction. Instead readers can easily
see how information concerns them or how they stand to benefit.
When readers feel that their opinions matter and have been taken into consideration,
they are more likely to follow instructions and comply with requests. To write in a readerfocused
style, edit your messages with the following suggestions in mind:
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1. Present meaningful content. Avoid sending trivial or unnecessary messa
ges, as they might cause your reader to overlook the seriousness of future, more
important messages.
2. Develop a positive you-attitude. Make the readers part of your message by presenting
your information from their point of view rather than your owm whenever possible.
An exclusively writer-centred approach can sound egotistical, but it is possible to
inject you-attitude into your messages by switching trom tirst-person pronouns (, me,
my, we, us, our) to more inviting second-person pronouns (you, your, yourself).
Writer-centred: lam hosting a private reception at the Royal York Hotel on
December 15 and am inviting all senior managers to attend.
Reader-focused: As a senior manager, you are cordially invited to a private
reception at the Royal York Hotel on December 15.
Writer-centred: We offer our repeat customers substantial discounts.
Reader-focused: As a repeat customer, you will enjoy substantial discounts.
A sincere you-attitude is one that doesn't overuse second-person pronouns to the
point where readers feel uncomfortable or manipulated. Do not use the you-attitude
negatively, as readers could feel singled out, criticized, or accused:
Negative you-attitude: Your failure to observe safety guidelines will result in a
mechanical shutdown.
Neutral attitude: The machine automatically shuts down whenever a safety
infraction occurs.
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A good way to involve readers is by using a compliance-boosting we-attitudea common
feature of managerial communications-that breaks down authority and unites
WTiter and reader in common "we're-all-in-this-together" values, goals, and initiatives.
3. Emphasize benefts to readers. Put yourself in your readers' place. Appeal to readers
and their interests by indicating what they stand to gain. This may be all the incentive
or motivation necessary to encourage a favourable, action-oriented response. This
technique is especially well suited to service-oriented messages.
Writer-centred: We ask that all customers complete the enclosed questionnaire
by April 30 so that we may assess the effectiveness of our
technical support services.
Reader-focused: To ensure you receive the highest standard of technical support
please assist us by completing the encdosed quality-control
questionnaire.
BE POLITE
A little common courtesy can make readers feel uncommonly good. Politeness creates a
humane environment of mutual respect and consideration where work gets done more
easily. Rudeness, pushiness, sarcasm, and abruptness-whether actual or alienate readers. perceived-can Being courteous involves more than just adding a simple please or thank
you to brief or routine messages: courtesy is a mindset with zero tolerance for sarcasm, condescension, presumptuousness, or anger. Emotional language can provoke hostile reactions, so avoid phrases of demand or advisement that belittle or talk down to readers.
Rude: Obviously, if you had the slightest idea of our policies you would have known that unless you wantto be fired, you should never use company-issued cellphones for personal calls.
Polite: Please reserve your company-issued cellphone for business calls so that
customers and associates may contact you without delay.
Extreme politeness, on the other hand, can be mistaken for coldness or insincerity. It can also undermine your assertiveness or authority, especially if you suppress or censor what you need to say for fear of sounding impolite. Do your best to strive for a courteous tone that sounds natural, friendly, and unforced.
Too Polite: Kindly be advised that, if even the smallest question arises, we will be only too happy to help.
Polite: Please contact us if you have any questions or concerns.
USE INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE
No one likes being unfairly singled out on the basis ot sex, ethnicity, age, disability, or group membership--but this is exactiy Wnat nappens in cases of discrimination, Not only unacceptable but also against the law, disCrimination involves the making of unjust and nreiudicial distinctions about individuals. The Canadian Human Rights Commission (CHRC) defines discriminatory treatment on 1l prohibited grounds: age, sex (including
pregnancy and childbirth), sexual orientation, religion, race, colour, national or ethnic
origin, marital status, family status, physical or mental disability (including past/present
alcohol dependence), and pardoned criminal conviction. Discriminatory and genderbiased
language, even when it is unintentional, demeans and offends readers, leaving them
hurt and unreceptive. Such language is actionable, opening the way for harassment suits
and legal proceedings. Using inclusive, bias-free language that treats all groups equally
and fairly shows sensitivity, consideration, and respect, all of which build goodwill and
better business relations.
- Don't make discriminatory comments. Avoid prohibited references when writing
about groups and individuals. Such information, even when it is offered in a positive
spirit, is irrelevant and can contribute to negative stereotypes.
- ☒ Hassan, who fasts throughout the day during this month's observance of
Ramadan, will nevertheless be available to answer your questions. - ☑ Hassan will be available to answer your questions.
- ☒ Please contact Piotr, who has a nice Polish accent but speaks English well.
- ☑ Please contact Piotr, our director of marketing services.
2. Use only gender-neutral job titles and salutations. Substitute correct and neutral
job titles-ones that do not suggest that only men or only women can hold a particular
job-for traditional, gender-specific ones:
| Gender-Biased Gender-Neutral salesperson, sales representative spokesperson, company representative salesman spokesman businessman business person chairman chair, chairperson workman worker man-hours working hours female manager, male nurse manager, nurse man and wife husband and wife, spouses deliveryman COurier |
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Sexist salutations such as Dear Sirs and Gentlemen are likewise considered outdated
because they exclude a female audience. Revise any sentences containing sexist terms
and automatic gender assumptions about jobs:
- Account managers are invited to bring their wives spouses/partners.
- The
girts in bookkeepingbookkeepers will correct the error in your account. or
Aruna Sharma and Joyce Fitzgerald in bookkeeping will correct the error in your
account. (Whenever possible, refer to men and women by their specific
names.) - Each
secretaryreportstoher stpervisot: Secretaries report to their supervisors.
3. Use Masculine Pronouns Reasonably. Avoid using masculine pronouns (he, his, him,
himself) to refer to groups or individuals of unknown gender. The old grammatical
rule of "common gender"-with its blanket use ot masculine pronouns to refer to
men as well as women-no longer applies and now comes across as sexist, Consider
the exclusionary nature of the following sentence, in which all executives are assumed
to be male: Each executive has his own parking space. There are several ways to make
your writing gender-neutral when it comes to pronoun use:
☑ Replace the offending pronoun with an indefinite article (a, an): Every
executive has a parking space.
☑ Recast the sentence, making the singular pronoun plural: All executives have
their own parking spaces.
☑ Use both mas culine and feminine pronouns when they do not recur
throughout the sentence: Every executive has his or her own parking space. Multiple
pronoun pairs can be awkward and im practical when revised this way.
☑ Choose plural pronouns: They and their are non-standard replacements for
he and his-common in spoken English and increasingly acceptable in written
English but still not necessarily the best choice, especially in formal documents:
Every lawyer has their own parking space.
WRITE WITH CONFIDENCE
A contident tone encourages readers to accept your decisions and opinions rather than
question them. When you need to express yourself firmly and decisively, apply the following
strategies:
1. Use definite, forward-looking language. Give priority to strong, deliberate verbs,
precise nouns, and vivid adjectives.
☒ Although I might not have as much experience as the other applicants, I did take
a few courses in risk management while trying to complete the requirements of
my MBA.
☑Two courses in risk management for my recently completed MBA allow me to contribute to degree will your mutual funds division.
Use helping verbs of qualification, such as seems, could, might, and may, only when you need to express conjecture, doubt, or uncertainty
2. Don't make unnecessary apologies. Apologies weaken your perceived authority, especially if you find yourself apologizing tor routine requests you must make to do your job effectively. Understand when apologies are needed (i.e., when something has gone wrong) and when they are not.
☒ l am so sorry to have to askyou to contirm the time and location of our next meeting.
☑ Please confirm the time and location of our next meeting.
3. Use strong, assertive phrasing rather than "weasel words," Deferential and well- intentioned phrases such as I hope and I trust can sometimes sound weak and tenta- tive. With overuse, phrases such as pernaps y you have time, maybe if it's not too much trouble, if you could possibly, or Jna t assertiveness from propabie that can slowly drain the power and your writing. Other hedging ords to watch for and use selectively include tend, in some ways, perhaps, seems, seemingly, possibly.
4. Be knowledgeable and informative. Know your subject well enough to make it
intelligible to the reader. A command of the facts is a natural credibility booster. Wel1
presented data and meaningful information help reduce readers' uncertainty and
allow them to take action and make sound decisions.
5. Guard against overconfidence. Too much confidence can make you sound egotistical.
Try not to cross the line between firmness and blatant arrogance. Remember that
boasting not only affects credibility but also turns readers off.
Boastful: You will undoubtedly agree that my marketing genius makes me more
than qualified for the job.
Confident: My experience in marketing and additional background in public
relations have prepared me for this challenging position.
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Select the right level of formality. Decide how formal or personal you want to be and Stress reader benefits and relevance. Cultivate a sincere you-attitude and interpret |
| [Flag Needed] Use plain, precise, and current language to make your message clear and meaningful to your reader. Be ethical and purposeful in your choice of words to reflect good public relations for your company and good human relations with colleagues.Be brief and use as few words as possible to express your thoughts and pass on information. Use a personal or inmpersonal style that's appropriate to the type of message you write. Make your messages constructive, relevant, reader-focused, and inclusive. Adopt a tone that's conversational, confident, and courteous |
EDITORS NOTE: Watch out for words that look complete but are not:
e.g., mstead - 'm' is in place of 'in' — I've also seen 'c' and 'l' put together to make a 'd' (cl vs. d). The editor seems to recognizes some of these missteps as words, especially in the case of 'cl', and won't underline the word for correction.
Business Style: Word Choice, Conciseness, and Tone
Learning Objectives
- Use plain, precise, and familiar language to make your point, prevent misunderstanding, and write with impact.
- Identify and eliminate problem words that do not convey your meaning clearly and directly.
- Choose accurate and appropriate words to create constructive, inclusive, reader oriented messages.
- Identify strategies for writing concise messages.
- Develop a conversational and confident tone and adjust it to suit a range of writing purposes, professional situations, and readerships.
- Differentiate between personal and impersonal styles.
A few decades ago, legal contracts, from the most detailed business agreements to the most routine mortgage forms, were written in a formal style full of twisted sentences and difficult language (called legalese) that often made key concepts, obligations, and rights impossible to understand. In Canada, banking and insurance industries were at the forefront of the transition from this type of writing to a plain language style. In 1979, Royal Insurance of Canada was producing the first plain-language insurance policy and Scotiabank was working with lawyer Robert Dick to redesign and rewrite its loan forms. Through the mandate of the Canadian Bankers Association (CBA), Scotiabank has maintained its commitment to plain language: "We know that plain language makes sense for our customers. And it also makes sense for us-saving time by eliminating confusion and improving communication within our organizations and with our customers:'2
Developing an effective business writing style is the key to reaching your readers and to conveying your intended message. Style comprises the rules, conventions, and options you need to consider whenever you write. These practices apply to the words you choose and combine to form sentences: how correct they are, how well they support the substance of your information and ideas, and how right they are for particular situations and audiences. Effective business style also involves thinking about how words "sound" and how your readers are affected by the words you use. With practice, you can learn to vary your style to suit a variety of situations.
Good style creates a good impression, not just of you but of the company you represent. By paying attention to the language you use, you can eliminate the frustration caused by communication that is hard to read, confusing, or uninformative and thereby build and sustain business relationships. Savvy communicators know that a clear, crisp, adaptable style kept as tight, lean, and factual as possible can simplify everyday tasks and make information manageable. In the long term, good writing supported by an effective business style is a major contributor to career growth and a vital factor in building personal and corporate credibility.
Word Choice
PLAIN STYLE
The need for clear, understandable, concrete language is not unique to the age of high speed communication. Centuries ago, when people first began to write for science and business and industry, demands were heard for the kind of simplicity and economy that is now the hallmark of plain style or plain language.
Plain style makes it acceptable for you to write in the same everyday language that you use when you speak and helps you to reach your readers instead of putting your audience at a distance. One of the aims of plain style is to banish dead and empty words in favour of lively, expressive ones that readers connect with immediately and remember easily. Because it saves time, puts readers first, and makes ideas and information meaningful, plain language is good for business. For a sense of the impact plain language can have, note the difference in the following sentences:
I will be responsible for actioning and undertake a prioritization of my commitments in terms of my daily scheduling.
I will arrange my daily schedule.
The case for putting plain language into wider practice continues to gain momentum. In recent decades, the international plain-language movement — dedicated to presenting information so it makes sense to most people and can be acted upon after a single reading — has gained the endorsement of government agencies, businesses, professions, and industries that value comprehensibility over management speak and the bureaucratic bluster of legalese. Plain style, with its pared-down, keep-it-simple approach, is characterized by a few common-sense principles:
- Use common, everyday words, except for necessary technical terms. Language should be familiar and accessible, not pretentious.
- Use reasonable sentence lengths. Aim for twenty words or fewer to avoid padding or needlessly overloading sentences.
- Use active-voice verbs and phrasal verbs. Active voice verbs show who or what performs an action. Phrasal verbs are simple and informal, combining verbs and prepositions to deliver their meaning (for example work out instead of devise) (See also Chapter 4, "Applying Active and Passive Voice," pp 110-12.)
- Use personal pronouns: I, you, and we. Personal pronouns used in moderation in all documents except formal reports, give you the fluency to say what you need LO with as little awkwardness as possible.
- Use unambiguous language. Ambiguity refers to an inexact expression that has multiple meanings and 1s therefore open to interpretation (for example, does Ricardo likes boring classmates mean that Ricardo likes to bore classmates or that he likes classmates who are boring?). Good communicators do their best to prevent ambiguity from creeping into their writing.
- Place the subject as close as possible to the verb. The meaning of a sentence relies on the clear relationship of its subject and verb. Tangled sentences result when long modifying phrases separate these all-important elements.
voice: a term that describes a verb's ability to show whether the subject of a sentence acts or is acted upon
phrasal verb: a verb that combines with one or more prepositions to deliver its meaning
pronouns: word that replace or refer to nouns
ambiguity: a term that describes an obscure or inexact meaning
Some writers have a hard time accepting plain style because they think it will make their writing dull or simplistic, but such fears are unfounded Communicating in a plain style won't require you to oversimplify or "dumb down" your content. In fact, an effective plain style gives daily communication energy, impact, and precision that sustains readers' interest and enables them to grasp complicated ideas and activities easily.
WORD CHOICE STEP 1: USE FAMILIAR WORDS
A plain style relies on familiar, accessible language common, everyday words of one or two syllables. Difficult, overstated words tend to be longer, with three or more syllables. In long sentences they can make even the most routine message dense and unreadable. Writers usually resort to long, pretentious, important-sounding words for the wrong reasons — to appear experienced, to intimidate, to impress, or to express authority. Pretentious words can be tempting status symbols and smokescreens, dressing up or hiding you intended meaning, but in the end they usually alienate readers instead of impressing them. Readers often skip over unfamiliar words or only partly grasp their meaning. The consequences of not opting for plain and familiar language can be seen in the following "translation" of a well-known saying:
| Pretentious: | It is preferable to effect the adoption and implementation of precautionary measures than to embark on a regrettable course of action. |
| Plain: | It is better to be safe than sorry. |
If you suspect your own writing is more pretentious than plain, use a readability index (such as Robert Gunning's fog formula) to measure its level of difficulty.
The following tips will help you avoid common word traps:
- Curb your use of words ending in -ize and -ization. Verbs ending in -ize and nouns ending in -ization may sound rich and sophisticated, but they can also lead to an inflated, heavy-handed style that grinds comprehension to a frustrating halt. Some words that fit this category (such as privatize, hospitalize, unionize, maximize, authorization, and specialization) are common and irreplaceable enough to be used without compromising readability. However, many other words ending in -tion, -ment, -ate, and -ism can boggle the mind with their obscurity and obfuscation, so it is important to remember that bigger isn't always better, especially when it comes to these so-called Latinisms that owe their origins to the ancient language of the Roman Empire. The chart below offers some simpler substitutes for bigger, more difficult words:
Plain English -ize Verb -ion Noun make communal use
make best use of
make real
develop a business
finish
communalize utilize
optimize
actualize
corporatize
finalize
communalization utilization
optimization
actualization
corporatization
finalization
- Use words derived from French sparingly. Words that the English language has borrowed from French can sound prestigious and distinctive when used sparingly adding formality to your writing. If overused, though, they can sound contrived and affected when compared with simpler English alternatives.
Plain English French Derivative talk, have a conversation tell, inform
begin, start
converse apprise
commence
- Avoid foreign words and phrases. Phrases such as ad hoc (for a particular purpose) and pro bono (for free) are used in legal documents and formal writing, where they are part of an established idiom. Otherwise, use foreign expressions only when absolutely necessary.
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Plain English Foreign Word/Phrase |
4. Use only job-related jargon. Jargon is the special vocabulary for a group, trade,
profession, or sphere of activity. Terminology of this kind is essential for conducting
business and describing sophisticated concepts and activities accurately and concisely. Certain types of jargon once thought of as specialized-such as computer jargon-are now the stuff of common knowledge. Once-ordinary words such as import, export, and cookie have taken on meanings unique to computing, which in turn have come to be understood by almost everyone. Similarly, many business-related terms, such as fixed rate, intangible assets, scalable technology, delist, and buyback describe actions and concepts that cannot be summed up easily in any other way.
Jargon is permissible when it is purposeful and transparent. Because jargon is a private language of the "inner circle," anyone who uses it must be sure that its special terms, abbreviations, and acronyms will be mutualy understood. To ensure that one persons jargon won't be another persons gobbledegook, size up your audience first and define any special terms you may have used in documents intended for a broad readership.
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5. Bypass buzzwords. Buzzwords are fashionable, otten technical-sounding pieces
of jargon. Known as trendy attention-getters, buzzwords sound fresh, current, and
suitably corporate. Their trendiness is part of their appeal, but it is also a large part
of their drawback because they tend to go out of style quite quickly, often through overuse. Some better-known buzzwords include:
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| synergy co-operative or combined action make or become global paradigm shift a fundamental change in approach or philosophy |
Communications professionals are split
on whether buzzwords are a feature of good
Writing. Clunky corporate "doublespeak" can
kill meaning and be a smokescreen, camouflaging financial problems or poor performance-that is why readers distrust it. In fact,
"straight-talking companies" have been shown
to outperform "non-straight-talking companies." Screening documents, especially
external ones, for buzzwords demonstrates reader awareness and concern tor fair
dealing that helps build confidence in your organization.
A final thought about familiar words: use simple language for getting simple,
time-sensitive messages across. Keep in mind that you won't have to shelve
sophisticated vocabulary completely, just re-evaluate and save it for types of writing that require greater finesse or formality. On the job, pay attention to and learn about language preferences in co-workers' documents and consult your organizations style guidelines, if available, to help you make effective vocabulary choices.
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WORD CHOICE STEP 2: USE FRESH AND CURRENT LANGUAGE
To stay competitive, today's businesses make an effort to explore and implement progressive approaches and technologies. It makes sense, then, for them to do business by using contemporary language that reflects and reinforces those aims and creates a corporate image that is modern and up to date.
- Replace clichés. Clichés are descriptive expressions that have been drained of meaning through overuse. Once vibrant and full of impact, they are now trite. Unless a cliché adds uniqueness or, by way of analogy, sums up something that is otherwise impossible to describe, replace it with fresh and direct language. Here are some of the better-known business clichés:
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tighten our belts needless to say |
2. Retire outdated busines expressions. Many commonly used business expressions have outlasted their usefulness. As holdovers from a centuries-old tradition of business protocol, stock phrases of business jargon have slowly lost their meaning for
modern readers, who see them more as artitacts than as communicative tools. Unless your organization recommends a very formal or traditional style, substitute stiff, outmoded business expressions with modern phrases, especially if you want to project a modern, contemporary image for your organization and yourself.
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Old Style New Style pursuant to your request as you requested
|
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3. Eliminate slang. Slang words that are informal and have is the term for colourful, highly informal words or figures of speech that have meaning specific to a particular era, locality, or occupation. Words that fit this category may be new words or familiar words used in new and sometimes humorous ways (for example pony up, which means "to hand over a sum of money").
Most slang has a short shelf life and may have meaning for only a small audience.
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Slang Translation |
Because slang is extravagant and street-smart in its appeal, it has the power to
shock readers who are unprepared for it, making it unsuitable for most protessional
communication. An exception is slang that is specific to business and management,
including widely accepted terms such as telephone tag, team player, walk (resign trom
a job), and spot (a radio or TV commercial). Slangier terms such as tire kicker (a prospective customer who demands a lot of attention but doesn't buy anything) are fun
and unique but may be too informal for general use.
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4. Avoid instant messaging abbreviations and emoticons. The popularity of e-mail,
texting, and social media has brought about a new lexicon special to high-speed
communicators. At the same time, the popularity of instant messaging (IM) and its
adoption by businesses as a productivity tool is having implications for business
style. Features of IM style-smiley-face icons, deliberately misspelled words, and
e-friendly acronyms-make typing dialogue in real time quicker and easier; however, anyone unfamiliar with this cyber-shorthand may view it as an unwelcome
secret language.
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Abbreviation Plain English |
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Limit your use of Internet abbreviations and emoticons (punctuation used to create sideways faces converying emotions: :), :(, :-<, :-D, and so on) to the channel for which they are inteded- IM communication- and leave them out of the office e-mail and formal corresponce. (Appendix A, under the heading "Abbreviations and Acroynoms," covers abbreviations and acryomucs suitable in professional communication.)
WORD CHOICE STEP 3: KEEP LANGUAGE SPECIFIC, PRECISE,
AND FUNCTIONAL
NOveist Mark Twain once wrote, "the difference between the right word and almost the ight word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." Words that are almost ight tantalize but ultimately frustrate readers by hinting at an intended meaning without actually delivering it. When reading involves guesswork, readers cannot be expected to act on instructions, accept decisions, or give new ideas serious thought. Imprecise wording puts writers in a bad light too because poor word choice can be mistaken tor fuzzy logic or unclear thinking. It is worth keeping in mind that the more exact your word choice is. the more persuasive and informative your message will be. Every word you write should be
clear and purposeful. Here are some tips for writing with precision:
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1. Provide specific details that help readers act on information and requests.
Concrete nouns (things knowable by the senses-computer, annual report, resume)
are easier to grasp than abstract nouns (ntangible things knowable through only
the intellect-integrity, loyalty, justice). Use concrete language as much as possible
to support and explain abstract words and show readers exactly what you mean.
Because the language of business is full of intangible abstracts-security, prestige,
profitability, leadership-hard data can be used to make difticult concepts meaningful
to readers.
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Abstract: Our company demands loyalty.
Abstract/Concrete: Our company demands employee loyalty to corporate policy
2. Quantify facts and avoid vague qualitative statements. Tell readers how much,
how many, or what type you mean, specify when something happened or happens, and identify by title or name the agents and recipients of particular actions.
Vague: They received some complaints about it some time ago.
Specific: Our customer service representatives received 36 complaints about Model
G500 in 2013.
Readers, though we might wish otherwise, are not mind readers. They may not understand what descriptive terms such as soon, later, good, bad, nice, numerous, sub- stantially, or a majority really mean. These are terms that are often used out of ness, as hedging devices that sound less harsh and polite- demanding than specific words.
Vague: A majority of employees indicated they would sign the agreement soon.
Specific: Close to 75 per cent of employees indicated they would sign the agreement by Friday.
Vague: The stock is performing poorly. (Which stock? Performing how poorly?) Snecific: Shares of Grocerynet.com lost 15 per cent of their market value in 2013.
3. Avoid ambiguous and non-idiomatic expressions. Ambiguous statements--state ments that are open to interpretaioncan be confusing for readers. For instance, centence such as She said on Thursaay she would drop by the office can mean two eithet that the statement was made on Thursday or that the visit would that dav. As you compose your arart or write your message, check for potential
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multiple meanings and keep in mind that readers like consistency, thus making it important to avoid using two or more names for the same Using idiomatic thing. expressions can also reduce confusion. Idioms are word group- ings that "sound right" to a typical reader and have special meaning distinct from their literal meaning: hand in (submit), look up (search for information), and find out (determine or discover information). Used correctly, these phrasal verbs add punch to
your writing, but they can also be difficult for anyone new to English to remember or decipher. Idiomatic usage also applies to the pairing of prepositions with adjectives (different from) and nouns (use for). For instance, the phrase "to have confidence in" is
correct but "to have confidence on" is not. When you need to know which preposition to pair with a particular word, it is always wise to refer to a college-level dictionary or
an idiomatic dictionary, such as the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary.
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4. Use comparisons and analogies to clarify. Likening an unfamiliar or complex con cept to a familiar one is a common form of explanation. In fact, the business world is
full of descriptive analogies, such as brain drain (a general term used by management
for the cross-border or overseas migration of specialists), which make fuzzy concepts
clear and tangible. When there is no other way to explain a concept, a comparison
can help to bring it into sharper focus. (See also Appendix A, under the heading
"Usage: Differentiating Commonly Confused Words.")
WORD CHOICE STEP 4: PRACTISE FACTUAL AND
ETHICAL COMMUNICATION
How you communicate on the job is a reflection of your ethical standards and those of
your organization. With this in mind, it is important to follow ethical practices in your
workplace communication. Here is a recap of tips for ethical business communication
already discussed in Chapter 1.
- Be reasoned, factual, and moderate in your judgments. Keep personal biases out of
your workplace communication and use only inclusive, non-discriminatory language
(see the following sections). - Consider the impact your communication has on others as well as yourself.
Make sure the actions you endorse are legal and that your communication would
reflect well on you if it were disclosed publicly. Bending the rules, even for a trusted
colleague, might compromise your integrity - Consult qualified colleagues. If you suspect that what you are writing is contentious
or incriminating, seek out experienced co-workers to help you navigate ethical
minefields and find feasible solutions to the wording of important messages
and documents. - Avoid libellous language. As stated in Chapter 1, common law protects every persorn
against libel (printed character defamation).* Words that are harmful and potentially
libellous include drunk, lazy, crazy, crooked, corrupt, incompetent, stupid, maniac, drug
addict, junkie, thief, and crippled. - Be timely and accurate in your communication. Avoid unjustified delays in replying
or processing information. Retain print or electronic copies of important documents. - Avoid untrue, deceptive or miselading statements. There are stiff penalities for all forms of misrepresentation, including false advertising. It is a good policy to back up
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any generalization qualified by entirely, completely, or always with supportable tacts
and evidence.
7. Know what you can and cannot disclose to certain parties. Familiarize yourself
with corporate disclosure practices and confidentiality agreements and handle your
organization's intellectual property with care. Follow proper channels of communication,
know what you can or must communicate, and carefully weigh both sides of an
issue before you act or comment on it.
8. Distinguish between fact and opinion. Let readers know the difference between
unsubstantiated belief or conjecture and verifiable fact. Passing off an opinion as a fact
is misleading and unethical.
9. Don't claim authorship of documents you have not written. The consequences of
plagiarism-not giving credit where credit is due-are serious. Always acknowledge
your sources through notes or citations, and never take credit for ideas that arent
your own.
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For effective writing on the job, opt for language that has the following features: |
Achieving Conciseness
It may come as no surprise that the origin of the term business is busy-ness. Time constraints
and pressing deadlines are the norm for most business people. Therefore,
receive workplace documents that get to the point directly, with an economy of words and
a minimum of clutter. A modest amount of time spent in crafting a concise, easy-to-read,
ey expect to
well-organized message is time saved for your readers. In turn, time saved translates not
just into money earned or saved but into goodwill from the busy people you communicate
with on a regular basis. Compare the following messages-think about how long it takes to
read each one and how the choice of words affects coherence and readability:
Original: This is a just a very brief memo to inform you that it is the opinion of the
employee council that at the present time it is expedient to undertake an
investigation of the possible institution of a proposed on-site fitness centre
Kindly be advised that anytime up to August 31 you should make your views
known to your employee council representative.
Revised: The employee council invites your input on the proposed creation of an on-site
fitness centre. Please contact your employee council representative before
August 31.
Long, indirect ways of expressing things are a major source of wordiness. While conciseness
is a virtue in business communication, the same cannot be said for conciserness that is
overdone, leading to messages that sound uneven, too blunt, or too rude. A little terseness
or even abruptness-like the kind that occurs naturally in a quick e-mail as you move
from one thought to the next--can be expected occasionally and is usually excusable.
Readers may begin to have problems, though, when they encounter a writing style that
is so telegraphic that there is not enough detail or development to make a message lucid,
understandable, or complete. After all, readers should not be expected to supply or mentally
fill in missing words.
Conciseness means using the fewest words to say what you need to accurately and
completely Weighing the need for conciseness against similar concerns for completeness
and politeness is important once you pass the drat phase, where wordiness is understandable.
Knowing what you can eliminate without sacrificing your intended meaning
or ignoring your readers' needs is key to answering the triple demands of conciseness,
completeness, and politeness.
Wordy: Please note that you are requested to read and offer your
comments on the attached file.
Terse: Read this. Get back to mne.
Concise and polite: Please review and comment on the attached file.
Politeness strategies sometimes work at cross-purposes to editing techniques, but it is
still relatively easy to write concise messages that have the right level of courtesy. Editing
documents for conciseness is really a torm of precision revision. You can start by easily
eliminating anything that does not add meaning to your message: long lead-ins, noun
conversions, padded and redundant expressions, needless relative pronouns, and excess
modifiers. Getting rid of sentence padding and achieving conciseness requires only a little
extra time, so avoid falling into the same trap as French mathematician Blaise Pascal, who
once admitted to a friend, "I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to
make it short." Here are nine ways to keep your messages
concise:
- Eliminate long lead-ins. Baseball pitchers warm up in the bullpen before they head
to the mound. Many writers prefer to "limber up" in the same way by starting their
sentences with an introductory phrase or two betore they get to the point. While
softening a message in this way is a common politeness strategy, lead-ins are mostly
unnecessary
because they add nothing to a sentence except for information that is
already obvious (e.g., This message is to infrm you that. . ). Readers in a hurry want
information conveyed to them as directly as possible. Unless extreme politeness is
required, delete any opening phrases ending in that or because. In brief messages
such as routine e-mail, make sure you get to the point before a count of three.
Wordy: l am writing to inform you that parking lot C will be closed for maintenance
Monday, September 30.
Concise: Parking lot C will be closed for maintenance Monday, September 30.
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2. Revise noun conversions. Each type of word has a ditterent purpose. Verbs are
"doing" words that convey actions, conditions, and states ot being. Nouns name
people, places, things, and abstract concepts. When verbs are converted into nouns,
often with the addition of a -tion or -ment ending, they lose their power and agency
like an engine running on empty, and in turn require weak supporting verbs to
convey their actions fully All the attention is then focused on the converted noun
words such as establishment, approval, decision-instead of on the primary action of
the sentence, which is hidden in the long noun phrase. As you review the chart below,
note how affected and formal noun conversion phrases sound when compared with
the verbs from which they are derived:
| Noun Conversion Phrase Verb reach a conclusion conclude make the assumption assume make a decision decide conduct an investigation investigate engage in consultation with consult give consideration to consider give authorization for authorize |
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Noun conversions (or nominalizations, as they are sometimes known) may souna
impressive and can even slow down the pace of your writing, but they will also make
your writing weak and wordy, so it is best to avoid using them.
Wordy: CanPac undertook a revision of its full-year earnings forecast.
Concise: CanPac revised its full-year earnings forecast.
Wordy: Leading economists made a prediction of a stronger Canadian dollar.
Concise: Leading economists predicted a stronger Canadian dollar.
Wordy: City council brought about an amendment to the bylaw. Concise: City council amended the bylaw.
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3. Eliminate redundancies. Redundancies are unplanned repetitions--word pairs that express the same meaning twice. Avoid the following "doubled-up" expressions by eliminating the italicized word:
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repetitions. absolutely essential enter into past experience |
4. Eliminate or revise empty words and phrases. Rid your sentences of imprecise, inexact language. Clear away the deadwood-words that lack meaning--and trim padded expressions.
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Replace With am of the opinion that believe as a matter of fact later at this point in time now, currently, at present by an act of coincidence |
Articles such as the, a, and an are sometimes overapplied. Omit the before plural
nouns expressing generalizations.
Unnecessary Article: The human resources specialists review the applications.
Articles Omitted: Human resources specialists review applications.
Se strong, precise, accurate verbs. Opt for clear, precise, nstructive verbs tar
than extended verb phrases.
Wordy: The learning centre placed an order for materials for the courses.
Elminate the need for intensifiers and quaifiers-words such as really, extremel
ncredibly, definitely, rather-by finding a verb that is an exact tit for the meaning ve
wish to deliver.
Concise: The learning centre ordered course materials.
mely,
you
Wordy: We were really incredibly thrilled to hear of the partnership.
Concise: We were delighted to hear of the partnership.
Avoid poorly defined, ambiguous verbs whose meanings are open to interpretation
Substitute strong verbs for -sion and -tion words.
Weak Verb: Buying market share in foreign markets affected profits.
affected how?)
Precise: Buying market share in foreign markets increased profits by
10 per cent.
Replace weak verbs, such as have and be (am, is, are, was, were) when they occur
alone, with strong ones.
Weak Verb: The CEO is of the opinion that the company will survive the current erisis that has to do with dot-com instability.
Precise: The CEO believes the company will survive the current crisis caused by dot-com instability.
Weak Verb: It is necessary for him to complete the application.
Precise: He needs to (or must) complete the application. Replace could/would/should with strong verbs when action you do not need to show that an is conditional.
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Weak Verb: In her previous job, she would write to charitable foundations.
Precise: In her previous job, she wrote to charitable foundations.
As much as possible, write in the active voice (as opposed to the passive voice, Chapter 4), which se is usually the most concise way to convey an action.
Passive Voice: The script of the speech should be edited and double-spaced.
Active Voice: Edit and double space the script of the speech.
6. Revise prepositional phrases. Prepositions-common words such as in, to, at, oJ
after, with, between-combine wth other words to form prepositional phrases
These modifying phrases show relationships in time and space, indiccating how, when, where or how long something happens. The wordiness of some prepositional phrases can make sentences sound awkwardand overwritten. The phrase can usually be replaced with a single-word modifier.
Wordy: An error in computation was discovered in the report from last spring.
Concise: A computational error was discovered in last spring's report
Prepositions are useful in breaking up long chains of nouns used as adjectives. They
clarity relationships so readers can tell which nouns are modifiers and which nouns
are being modified.
growth management executive training growth management training for executives petroleum diesel replacement fuel-> replacement fuel for petroleum diesel climate change mitigation technologies -> technologies to mitigate climate change
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7. Eliminate fillers. Avoid beginning sentences with empty filler words such as there is/
are and it is/was (when it has not been defined) that force readers to wait for the sub
ject that the entire sentence hinges on. Expletive constructions, as they are called,
act as a common delaying tactic that makes sense only when extreme politeness or
emphasis is called for. Otherwise, delete the expletive and craft a straightforward sen-
tence that begins with the subject, followed closely by verb and object.
Wordy: There are three bids that the board is considering.
Concise: The board is considering three bids
Wordy: Itis paying down debt that is our priority.
Concise: Paying down debt is our priority.
8. Shorten multiple that/which/who clauses. Used to excess, clauses introduced by
that, which, and who create a clumsy stop-and-go sentence ilow. In most cases, you
can drop that, which, or who as well as the verb that immediately follows it. Sometimes
an entire clause can be reduced to a single word by making this simple change.
Wordy: His company, which is reputed to be a leader in employee satisfaction,
hosts regular events for employees who have retired.
Concise: His company, a reputed leader in employee satisfaction, hosts regular
events for retirees.
Wordy: We offer prices that are competitive.
Concise: We offer competitive prices.
9. Combine shorter sentences, reduce clauses and phrases. Use pronouns (that,
which, who, as well as personal pronouns) to combine shorter related sentences and
eliminate monotonous repetition. Reduce sentences to clauses, clauses to phrases,
and phrases to single words.
Wordy: She is a sales representative. She specializes in com mercial real estate.
Concise: She is a sales representative who specializes in commercial real estate.
(second sentence reduced to a clause)
Concise: She is a sales representative specializing in commercial real estate
(second sentence reduced to a phrase)
Concise: She is a commercial real estate sales specialist.
(second sentence reduced to descriptive words)
| Checklist: Conciseness Have you used as few words as possible to make your point?Have you eliminated long lead-ins and sentence fillers?Have you replaced noun conversions (and-ize words) with strong verbs? Have you eliminated redundancies, empty words, and empty phrasesHave yu replaced prepositional phrases with single-word modifiers? Have you shortened clumsy that/which/who clauses and combined short, related sentences? |
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Tone
ers irame of mind, inklings of demand or respect, arrogance or modesty, or concern. This inditterence or impression is a product of tone. Tone refers to the mood of a implied attitude of the writer message-the to the subject and readers. In the absence of vocal inflection and visual cues such as body language, tone in written communication creates an impres- sion based purely on the words that are used and the length and structure of writer happens to choose. sentences the
The tone of a message should support its content and remain beginning fairly consistent from to end. A wide range oi tone is possible in workplace communication, meaning that a casual tone appropriate tor an e-mail message to an associate will be unacceptable in a formal report, which denmands a more serious and depends professional tone. Ultimately, much on the writing situation, purpose, and channel of communication. Once you have determined the tone you want to use, it should remain consistent throughout ment, mainly because erratic, a docu- Jekyll-and-Hyde" shifts in tone give mixed messages unsettle readers and leave them that contused about your attitude and intentions. Make sure the tone you establish supports your content and creates the right impression.
tone the implied attitude of the author to the reader, as
Word reflected by choice.
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TUNE IN TO WORD CONNOTATIONS
Words with similar or overlapping meanings, like the synonyms in a typical thesauru5 entry, rarely mean exactly the same thing. While a word's denotation-its literal, diction ary definition-is something it may share with many synonyms, its connotation-15 imnlied. associative meaning-is distinct in terms of the positive or negative emotional resDonse the word provokes. Ihe way a word atects the reader helps to differentiate pven subtly, from other words witn it, similar or overlapping meanings. Consider the con notation or emotional overtone ot each word in the following series:
Serie cheap/inexpensive/cost-effective/low priced/thrifty/economical
artificial/faux/synthetic/sham/take/man-made/imitation/mock flexible/changeable/fickle/adaptable/compliant/resilient
Implied meaning has the power to shape perceptions, which accounts for why a "pre-owned vehicle" may sound like a better investment than a "used" or "second-hand"
car, even though the products these terms label may be virtually the same. Tuning in to
the connotations of words can help you anticipate your readers reaction to the words you choose. The right words may not just be the ones with the more accurate denotations but
the ones with the most appropriate connotations.
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KEEP YOUR STYLE CONVERSATIONAL
Formality involves the observance of style rules and conventions. Levels of formality
depend mostly on word choice, sentence length, and sentence structure. Most business
writing, with the exception of formal reports, meets the needs of a wide audience with
a mid-level style that is fairly conversational and moderately informal. Writing conver
sationally is as easy as imagining yourself sitting across from your reader and expressing
yourself as you would in an ordinary face-to-face discussion or meeting. In writing your
message as you would say it, try to resist the temptation to be overly chatty or to repeat
yourself. The result should be unforced and natural, not stiff or stully. Naturalness, however,
should never be confused with sloppiness, so keep sentence length manageable, use
correct grammar, and edit to eliminate awkwardness. A written style that is too informal or
casual-with noticeable slang, colloquialisms, and grammar abuses-can give the impres
sion of carelessness and even suggest poor work habits. Wiriters have some freedom to
vary their level of formality from document to document, but a mid-level style is typical
of business letters, memos, informal reports, and most print journalism. Its elements are
summed up in the checklist below:
- even-handed, efficient, conversational tone
- mix of familiar words and business terms
- Correct grammar and standard punctuation
- manageable sentence structure (one to three clauses per sentence)
- single-word verbs and phrasal verbs (ook into instead of investigate; throw out
instead of discard) - occasional contractions ('m, she's, we're, it's, can't, isnt, whos)
- personal pronouns and limited forms of personal address
- slang, legalisms, long words, outdated language
Examples: lam pleased to submit the enclosed report.
Please have a look at the enclosed report.
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SELECT THE RIGHT LEVEL OF FORMALITY:
PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL STYLES
Within the acceptable range of business style, it is possible to be more or less formal and
more or less personal. A personal style puts you and/or your readers into your sentences
through the free use of first- and second-person pronouns (I, me, we, us, you). The impression
it gives is one of warmth, friendliness, and candour, helping to build rapport and
engage readers. Because facts are either delivered from the writers perspective or targeted
Specitically at readers, this style sometimes seems biased or slanted, even when it is not.
Personal style is characterized by the following elements:
- short sentencesS
- personal pronouns
- First names and personal references
- active voice used throughout
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An impersonal style uses only third-person pronouns (he, she, it, one, they). It sounds
detached yet objective, emphasizing facts and concepts rather than the writers perspective.
For this reason, impersonal style is commonly used for announcements and policy
statements. Warmth gives way to efficiency, but the result is not necessarily stuffy or pretentious.
Impersonal style is characterized by the following elements:
- a mix of sentence lengths, including long sentences
- no personal pronouns
- no first names or personal references
- legitimate use of the passive voice
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Personal Style Impersonal Style
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BE POSITIVE
Is the glass half empty or half full? The answer to this question separates the optimists
from the pessimists. Readers usually like to think of their glasses as half full, which means
they are more receptive to good news or neutral news that is free of negativity. Although
you should never knowingly distort facts or ideas just for the sake of putting a positive spin on them, it is worth remembering that positive wording makes messages readerfriendly
and inviting. Unles you are issuing a warning meant to stop or deter certain
actions, it is useful to emphasize what the reader can do instead of what the reader can't.
Negative attitude: You cannot use Verified by Visa until you have been issued a
password.
Positive attitude: You may begin using Verified by Visa once you receive password.
Avoid negative wording for positive or neutral ideas:
Negative wording: You will never be sorry you purchased a three-year extended warranty.
Positive wording: Your three-year extended warranty covers all parts and on-site repairs.
Weigh the impact of blatant or hidden negatives such as regret, mistake, oversight, overlook, rnegligence, neglect, unable, unfortunately, allege, careless, reject, deny, and fail(ure) before
you use them. Used the wrong way, these can be harsh, inflexible words that antagonize
readers by painting them as adversaries or inferiors.
- By failing to park in your assigned space, you caused our visitors a terrible
inconvenience. - Parking spaces adjacent to the entrance are reserved for visitors.
Rely on the subordinating power of grammatical structures such as dependent clauses and
the passive voice (see Chapter 4) to reduce negativity and depersonalize unfavourable facts.
Negative: We cannot extend credit to you at this time.
Less negative: Although credit cannot be extended to you at this time, we look forward
to serving you on a cash basis.
STRESS READER BENEFITS AND RELEVANCE
Occasionally, everyone reads a message only to ask, What does this have to do with me?
Relevant, reader-tocused messages never provoke this reaction. Instead readers can easily
see how information concerns them or how they stand to benefit.
When readers feel that their opinions matter and have been taken into consideration,
they are more likely to follow instructions and comply with requests. To write in a readerfocused
style, edit your messages with the following suggestions in mind:
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1. Present meaningful content. Avoid sending trivial or unnecessary messa
ges, as they might cause your reader to overlook the seriousness of future, more
important messages.
2. Develop a positive you-attitude. Make the readers part of your message by presenting
your information from their point of view rather than your owm whenever possible.
An exclusively writer-centred approach can sound egotistical, but it is possible to
inject you-attitude into your messages by switching trom tirst-person pronouns (, me,
my, we, us, our) to more inviting second-person pronouns (you, your, yourself).
Writer-centred: lam hosting a private reception at the Royal York Hotel on
December 15 and am inviting all senior managers to attend.
Reader-focused: As a senior manager, you are cordially invited to a private
reception at the Royal York Hotel on December 15.
Writer-centred: We offer our repeat customers substantial discounts.
Reader-focused: As a repeat customer, you will enjoy substantial discounts.
A sincere you-attitude is one that doesn't overuse second-person pronouns to the
point where readers feel uncomfortable or manipulated. Do not use the you-attitude
negatively, as readers could feel singled out, criticized, or accused:
Negative you-attitude: Your failure to observe safety guidelines will result in a
mechanical shutdown.
Neutral attitude: The machine automatically shuts down whenever a safety
infraction occurs.
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A good way to involve readers is by using a compliance-boosting we-attitudea common
feature of managerial communications-that breaks down authority and unites
WTiter and reader in common "we're-all-in-this-together" values, goals, and initiatives.
3. Emphasize benefts to readers. Put yourself in your readers' place. Appeal to readers
and their interests by indicating what they stand to gain. This may be all the incentive
or motivation necessary to encourage a favourable, action-oriented response. This
technique is especially well suited to service-oriented messages.
Writer-centred: We ask that all customers complete the enclosed questionnaire
by April 30 so that we may assess the effectiveness of our
technical support services.
Reader-focused: To ensure you receive the highest standard of technical support
please assist us by completing the encdosed quality-control
questionnaire.
BE POLITE
A little common courtesy can make readers feel uncommonly good. Politeness creates a
humane environment of mutual respect and consideration where work gets done more
easily. Rudeness, pushiness, sarcasm, and abruptness-whether actual or alienate readers. perceived-can Being courteous involves more than just adding a simple please or thank
you to brief or routine messages: courtesy is a mindset with zero tolerance for sarcasm, condescension, presumptuousness, or anger. Emotional language can provoke hostile reactions, so avoid phrases of demand or advisement that belittle or talk down to readers.
Rude: Obviously, if you had the slightest idea of our policies you would have known that unless you wantto be fired, you should never use company-issued cellphones for personal calls.
Polite: Please reserve your company-issued cellphone for business calls so that
customers and associates may contact you without delay.
Extreme politeness, on the other hand, can be mistaken for coldness or insincerity. It can also undermine your assertiveness or authority, especially if you suppress or censor what you need to say for fear of sounding impolite. Do your best to strive for a courteous tone that sounds natural, friendly, and unforced.
Too Polite: Kindly be advised that, if even the smallest question arises, we will be only too happy to help.
Polite: Please contact us if you have any questions or concerns.
USE INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE
No one likes being unfairly singled out on the basis ot sex, ethnicity, age, disability, or group membership--but this is exactiy Wnat nappens in cases of discrimination, Not only unacceptable but also against the law, disCrimination involves the making of unjust and nreiudicial distinctions about individuals. The Canadian Human Rights Commission (CHRC) defines discriminatory treatment on 1l prohibited grounds: age, sex (including
pregnancy and childbirth), sexual orientation, religion, race, colour, national or ethnic
origin, marital status, family status, physical or mental disability (including past/present
alcohol dependence), and pardoned criminal conviction. Discriminatory and genderbiased
language, even when it is unintentional, demeans and offends readers, leaving them
hurt and unreceptive. Such language is actionable, opening the way for harassment suits
and legal proceedings. Using inclusive, bias-free language that treats all groups equally
and fairly shows sensitivity, consideration, and respect, all of which build goodwill and
better business relations.
- Don't make discriminatory comments. Avoid prohibited references when writing
about groups and individuals. Such information, even when it is offered in a positive
spirit, is irrelevant and can contribute to negative stereotypes.
- ☒ Hassan, who fasts throughout the day during this month's observance of
Ramadan, will nevertheless be available to answer your questions. - ☑ Hassan will be available to answer your questions.
- ☒ Please contact Piotr, who has a nice Polish accent but speaks English well.
- ☑ Please contact Piotr, our director of marketing services.
2. Use only gender-neutral job titles and salutations. Substitute correct and neutral
job titles-ones that do not suggest that only men or only women can hold a particular
job-for traditional, gender-specific ones:
| Gender-Biased Gender-Neutral salesperson, sales representative spokesperson, company representative salesman spokesman businessman business person chairman chair, chairperson workman worker man-hours working hours female manager, male nurse manager, nurse man and wife husband and wife, spouses deliveryman COurier |
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Sexist salutations such as Dear Sirs and Gentlemen are likewise considered outdated
because they exclude a female audience. Revise any sentences containing sexist terms
and automatic gender assumptions about jobs:
- Account managers are invited to bring their wives spouses/partners.
- The
girts in bookkeepingbookkeepers will correct the error in your account. or
Aruna Sharma and Joyce Fitzgerald in bookkeeping will correct the error in your
account. (Whenever possible, refer to men and women by their specific
names.) - Each
secretaryreportstoher stpervisot: Secretaries report to their supervisors.
3. Use Masculine Pronouns Reasonably. Avoid using masculine pronouns (he, his, him,
himself) to refer to groups or individuals of unknown gender. The old grammatical
rule of "common gender"-with its blanket use ot masculine pronouns to refer to
men as well as women-no longer applies and now comes across as sexist, Consider
the exclusionary nature of the following sentence, in which all executives are assumed
to be male: Each executive has his own parking space. There are several ways to make
your writing gender-neutral when it comes to pronoun use:
☑ Replace the offending pronoun with an indefinite article (a, an): Every
executive has a parking space.
☑ Recast the sentence, making the singular pronoun plural: All executives have
their own parking spaces.
☑ Use both mas culine and feminine pronouns when they do not recur
throughout the sentence: Every executive has his or her own parking space. Multiple
pronoun pairs can be awkward and im practical when revised this way.
☑ Choose plural pronouns: They and their are non-standard replacements for
he and his-common in spoken English and increasingly acceptable in written
English but still not necessarily the best choice, especially in formal documents:
Every lawyer has their own parking space.
WRITE WITH CONFIDENCE
A contident tone encourages readers to accept your decisions and opinions rather than
question them. When you need to express yourself firmly and decisively, apply the following
strategies:
1. Use definite, forward-looking language. Give priority to strong, deliberate verbs,
precise nouns, and vivid adjectives.
☒ Although I might not have as much experience as the other applicants, I did take
a few courses in risk management while trying to complete the requirements of
my MBA.
☑Two courses in risk management for my recently completed MBA allow me to contribute to degree will your mutual funds division.
Use helping verbs of qualification, such as seems, could, might, and may, only when you need to express conjecture, doubt, or uncertainty
2. Don't make unnecessary apologies. Apologies weaken your perceived authority, especially if you find yourself apologizing tor routine requests you must make to do your job effectively. Understand when apologies are needed (i.e., when something has gone wrong) and when they are not.
☒ l am so sorry to have to askyou to contirm the time and location of our next meeting.
☑ Please confirm the time and location of our next meeting.
3. Use strong, assertive phrasing rather than "weasel words," Deferential and well- intentioned phrases such as I hope and I trust can sometimes sound weak and tenta- tive. With overuse, phrases such as pernaps y you have time, maybe if it's not too much trouble, if you could possibly, or Jna t assertiveness from propabie that can slowly drain the power and your writing. Other hedging ords to watch for and use selectively include tend, in some ways, perhaps, seems, seemingly, possibly.
4. Be knowledgeable and informative. Know your subject well enough to make it
intelligible to the reader. A command of the facts is a natural credibility booster. Wel1
presented data and meaningful information help reduce readers' uncertainty and
allow them to take action and make sound decisions.
5. Guard against overconfidence. Too much confidence can make you sound egotistical.
Try not to cross the line between firmness and blatant arrogance. Remember that
boasting not only affects credibility but also turns readers off.
Boastful: You will undoubtedly agree that my marketing genius makes me more
than qualified for the job.
Confident: My experience in marketing and additional background in public
relations have prepared me for this challenging position.
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Select the right level of formality. Decide how formal or personal you want to be and Stress reader benefits and relevance. Cultivate a sincere you-attitude and interpret |
| [Flag Needed] Use plain, precise, and current language to make your message clear and meaningful to your reader. Be ethical and purposeful in your choice of words to reflect good public relations for your company and good human relations with colleagues.Be brief and use as few words as possible to express your thoughts and pass on information. Use a personal or inmpersonal style that's appropriate to the type of message you write. Make your messages constructive, relevant, reader-focused, and inclusive. Adopt a tone that's conversational, confident, and courteous |
EDITORS NOTE: Watch out for words that look complete but are not:
e.g., mstead - 'm' is in place of 'in' — I've also seen 'c' and 'l' put together to make a 'd' (cl vs. d). The editor seems to recognizes some of these missteps as words, especially in the case of 'cl', and won't underline the word for correction.
Business Style: Word Choice, Conciseness, and Tone
Learning Objectives
- Use plain, precise, and familiar language to make your point, prevent misunderstanding, and write with impact.
- Identify and eliminate problem words that do not convey your meaning clearly and directly.
- Choose accurate and appropriate words to create constructive, inclusive, reader oriented messages.
- Identify strategies for writing concise messages.
- Develop a conversational and confident tone and adjust it to suit a range of writing purposes, professional situations, and readerships.
- Differentiate between personal and impersonal styles.
A few decades ago, legal contracts, from the most detailed business agreements to the most routine mortgage forms, were written in a formal style full of twisted sentences and difficult language (called legalese) that often made key concepts, obligations, and rights impossible to understand. In Canada, banking and insurance industries were at the forefront of the transition from this type of writing to a plain language style. In 1979, Royal Insurance of Canada was producing the first plain-language insurance policy and Scotiabank was working with lawyer Robert Dick to redesign and rewrite its loan forms. Through the mandate of the Canadian Bankers Association (CBA), Scotiabank has maintained its commitment to plain language: "We know that plain language makes sense for our customers. And it also makes sense for us-saving time by eliminating confusion and improving communication within our organizations and with our customers:'2
Developing an effective business writing style is the key to reaching your readers and to conveying your intended message. Style comprises the rules, conventions, and options you need to consider whenever you write. These practices apply to the words you choose and combine to form sentences: how correct they are, how well they support the substance of your information and ideas, and how right they are for particular situations and audiences. Effective business style also involves thinking about how words "sound" and how your readers are affected by the words you use. With practice, you can learn to vary your style to suit a variety of situations.
Good style creates a good impression, not just of you but of the company you represent. By paying attention to the language you use, you can eliminate the frustration caused by communication that is hard to read, confusing, or uninformative and thereby build and sustain business relationships. Savvy communicators know that a clear, crisp, adaptable style kept as tight, lean, and factual as possible can simplify everyday tasks and make information manageable. In the long term, good writing supported by an effective business style is a major contributor to career growth and a vital factor in building personal and corporate credibility.
Word Choice
PLAIN STYLE
The need for clear, understandable, concrete language is not unique to the age of high speed communication. Centuries ago, when people first began to write for science and business and industry, demands were heard for the kind of simplicity and economy that is now the hallmark of plain style or plain language.
Plain style makes it acceptable for you to write in the same everyday language that you use when you speak and helps you to reach your readers instead of putting your audience at a distance. One of the aims of plain style is to banish dead and empty words in favour of lively, expressive ones that readers connect with immediately and remember easily. Because it saves time, puts readers first, and makes ideas and information meaningful, plain language is good for business. For a sense of the impact plain language can have, note the difference in the following sentences:
I will be responsible for actioning and undertake a prioritization of my commitments in terms of my daily scheduling.
I will arrange my daily schedule.
The case for putting plain language into wider practice continues to gain momentum. In recent decades, the international plain-language movement — dedicated to presenting information so it makes sense to most people and can be acted upon after a single reading — has gained the endorsement of government agencies, businesses, professions, and industries that value comprehensibility over management speak and the bureaucratic bluster of legalese. Plain style, with its pared-down, keep-it-simple approach, is characterized by a few common-sense principles:
- Use common, everyday words, except for necessary technical terms. Language should be familiar and accessible, not pretentious.
- Use reasonable sentence lengths. Aim for twenty words or fewer to avoid padding or needlessly overloading sentences.
- Use active-voice verbs and phrasal verbs. Active voice verbs show who or what performs an action. Phrasal verbs are simple and informal, combining verbs and prepositions to deliver their meaning (for example work out instead of devise) (See also Chapter 4, "Applying Active and Passive Voice," pp 110-12.)
- Use personal pronouns: I, you, and we. Personal pronouns used in moderation in all documents except formal reports, give you the fluency to say what you need LO with as little awkwardness as possible.
- Use unambiguous language. Ambiguity refers to an inexact expression that has multiple meanings and 1s therefore open to interpretation (for example, does Ricardo likes boring classmates mean that Ricardo likes to bore classmates or that he likes classmates who are boring?). Good communicators do their best to prevent ambiguity from creeping into their writing.
- Place the subject as close as possible to the verb. The meaning of a sentence relies on the clear relationship of its subject and verb. Tangled sentences result when long modifying phrases separate these all-important elements.
voice: a term that describes a verb's ability to show whether the subject of a sentence acts or is acted upon
phrasal verb: a verb that combines with one or more prepositions to deliver its meaning
pronouns: word that replace or refer to nouns
ambiguity: a term that describes an obscure or inexact meaning
Some writers have a hard time accepting plain style because they think it will make their writing dull or simplistic, but such fears are unfounded Communicating in a plain style won't require you to oversimplify or "dumb down" your content. In fact, an effective plain style gives daily communication energy, impact, and precision that sustains readers' interest and enables them to grasp complicated ideas and activities easily.
WORD CHOICE STEP 1: USE FAMILIAR WORDS
A plain style relies on familiar, accessible language common, everyday words of one or two syllables. Difficult, overstated words tend to be longer, with three or more syllables. In long sentences they can make even the most routine message dense and unreadable. Writers usually resort to long, pretentious, important-sounding words for the wrong reasons — to appear experienced, to intimidate, to impress, or to express authority. Pretentious words can be tempting status symbols and smokescreens, dressing up or hiding you intended meaning, but in the end they usually alienate readers instead of impressing them. Readers often skip over unfamiliar words or only partly grasp their meaning. The consequences of not opting for plain and familiar language can be seen in the following "translation" of a well-known saying:
| Pretentious: | It is preferable to effect the adoption and implementation of precautionary measures than to embark on a regrettable course of action. |
| Plain: | It is better to be safe than sorry. |
If you suspect your own writing is more pretentious than plain, use a readability index (such as Robert Gunning's fog formula) to measure its level of difficulty.
The following tips will help you avoid common word traps:
- Curb your use of words ending in -ize and -ization. Verbs ending in -ize and nouns ending in -ization may sound rich and sophisticated, but they can also lead to an inflated, heavy-handed style that grinds comprehension to a frustrating halt. Some words that fit this category (such as privatize, hospitalize, unionize, maximize, authorization, and specialization) are common and irreplaceable enough to be used without compromising readability. However, many other words ending in -tion, -ment, -ate, and -ism can boggle the mind with their obscurity and obfuscation, so it is important to remember that bigger isn't always better, especially when it comes to these so-called Latinisms that owe their origins to the ancient language of the Roman Empire. The chart below offers some simpler substitutes for bigger, more difficult words:
Plain English -ize Verb -ion Noun make communal use
make best use of
make real
develop a business
finish
communalize utilize
optimize
actualize
corporatize
finalize
communalization utilization
optimization
actualization
corporatization
finalization
- Use words derived from French sparingly. Words that the English language has borrowed from French can sound prestigious and distinctive when used sparingly adding formality to your writing. If overused, though, they can sound contrived and affected when compared with simpler English alternatives.
Plain English French Derivative talk, have a conversation tell, inform
begin, start
converse apprise
commence
- Avoid foreign words and phrases. Phrases such as ad hoc (for a particular purpose) and pro bono (for free) are used in legal documents and formal writing, where they are part of an established idiom. Otherwise, use foreign expressions only when absolutely necessary.
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Plain English Foreign Word/Phrase |
4. Use only job-related jargon. Jargon is the special vocabulary for a group, trade,
profession, or sphere of activity. Terminology of this kind is essential for conducting
business and describing sophisticated concepts and activities accurately and concisely. Certain types of jargon once thought of as specialized-such as computer jargon-are now the stuff of common knowledge. Once-ordinary words such as import, export, and cookie have taken on meanings unique to computing, which in turn have come to be understood by almost everyone. Similarly, many business-related terms, such as fixed rate, intangible assets, scalable technology, delist, and buyback describe actions and concepts that cannot be summed up easily in any other way.
Jargon is permissible when it is purposeful and transparent. Because jargon is a private language of the "inner circle," anyone who uses it must be sure that its special terms, abbreviations, and acronyms will be mutualy understood. To ensure that one persons jargon won't be another persons gobbledegook, size up your audience first and define any special terms you may have used in documents intended for a broad readership.
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5. Bypass buzzwords. Buzzwords are fashionable, otten technical-sounding pieces
of jargon. Known as trendy attention-getters, buzzwords sound fresh, current, and
suitably corporate. Their trendiness is part of their appeal, but it is also a large part
of their drawback because they tend to go out of style quite quickly, often through overuse. Some better-known buzzwords include:
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| synergy co-operative or combined action make or become global paradigm shift a fundamental change in approach or philosophy |
Communications professionals are split
on whether buzzwords are a feature of good
Writing. Clunky corporate "doublespeak" can
kill meaning and be a smokescreen, camouflaging financial problems or poor performance-that is why readers distrust it. In fact,
"straight-talking companies" have been shown
to outperform "non-straight-talking companies." Screening documents, especially
external ones, for buzzwords demonstrates reader awareness and concern tor fair
dealing that helps build confidence in your organization.
A final thought about familiar words: use simple language for getting simple,
time-sensitive messages across. Keep in mind that you won't have to shelve
sophisticated vocabulary completely, just re-evaluate and save it for types of writing that require greater finesse or formality. On the job, pay attention to and learn about language preferences in co-workers' documents and consult your organizations style guidelines, if available, to help you make effective vocabulary choices.
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WORD CHOICE STEP 2: USE FRESH AND CURRENT LANGUAGE
To stay competitive, today's businesses make an effort to explore and implement progressive approaches and technologies. It makes sense, then, for them to do business by using contemporary language that reflects and reinforces those aims and creates a corporate image that is modern and up to date.
- Replace clichés. Clichés are descriptive expressions that have been drained of meaning through overuse. Once vibrant and full of impact, they are now trite. Unless a cliché adds uniqueness or, by way of analogy, sums up something that is otherwise impossible to describe, replace it with fresh and direct language. Here are some of the better-known business clichés:
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tighten our belts needless to say |
2. Retire outdated busines expressions. Many commonly used business expressions have outlasted their usefulness. As holdovers from a centuries-old tradition of business protocol, stock phrases of business jargon have slowly lost their meaning for
modern readers, who see them more as artitacts than as communicative tools. Unless your organization recommends a very formal or traditional style, substitute stiff, outmoded business expressions with modern phrases, especially if you want to project a modern, contemporary image for your organization and yourself.
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Old Style New Style pursuant to your request as you requested
|
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3. Eliminate slang. Slang words that are informal and have is the term for colourful, highly informal words or figures of speech that have meaning specific to a particular era, locality, or occupation. Words that fit this category may be new words or familiar words used in new and sometimes humorous ways (for example pony up, which means "to hand over a sum of money").
Most slang has a short shelf life and may have meaning for only a small audience.
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Slang Translation |
Because slang is extravagant and street-smart in its appeal, it has the power to
shock readers who are unprepared for it, making it unsuitable for most protessional
communication. An exception is slang that is specific to business and management,
including widely accepted terms such as telephone tag, team player, walk (resign trom
a job), and spot (a radio or TV commercial). Slangier terms such as tire kicker (a prospective customer who demands a lot of attention but doesn't buy anything) are fun
and unique but may be too informal for general use.
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4. Avoid instant messaging abbreviations and emoticons. The popularity of e-mail,
texting, and social media has brought about a new lexicon special to high-speed
communicators. At the same time, the popularity of instant messaging (IM) and its
adoption by businesses as a productivity tool is having implications for business
style. Features of IM style-smiley-face icons, deliberately misspelled words, and
e-friendly acronyms-make typing dialogue in real time quicker and easier; however, anyone unfamiliar with this cyber-shorthand may view it as an unwelcome
secret language.
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Abbreviation Plain English |
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Limit your use of Internet abbreviations and emoticons (punctuation used to create sideways faces converying emotions: :), :(, :-<, :-D, and so on) to the channel for which they are inteded- IM communication- and leave them out of the office e-mail and formal corresponce. (Appendix A, under the heading "Abbreviations and Acroynoms," covers abbreviations and acryomucs suitable in professional communication.)
WORD CHOICE STEP 3: KEEP LANGUAGE SPECIFIC, PRECISE,
AND FUNCTIONAL
NOveist Mark Twain once wrote, "the difference between the right word and almost the ight word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." Words that are almost ight tantalize but ultimately frustrate readers by hinting at an intended meaning without actually delivering it. When reading involves guesswork, readers cannot be expected to act on instructions, accept decisions, or give new ideas serious thought. Imprecise wording puts writers in a bad light too because poor word choice can be mistaken tor fuzzy logic or unclear thinking. It is worth keeping in mind that the more exact your word choice is. the more persuasive and informative your message will be. Every word you write should be
clear and purposeful. Here are some tips for writing with precision:
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1. Provide specific details that help readers act on information and requests.
Concrete nouns (things knowable by the senses-computer, annual report, resume)
are easier to grasp than abstract nouns (ntangible things knowable through only
the intellect-integrity, loyalty, justice). Use concrete language as much as possible
to support and explain abstract words and show readers exactly what you mean.
Because the language of business is full of intangible abstracts-security, prestige,
profitability, leadership-hard data can be used to make difticult concepts meaningful
to readers.
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Abstract: Our company demands loyalty.
Abstract/Concrete: Our company demands employee loyalty to corporate policy
2. Quantify facts and avoid vague qualitative statements. Tell readers how much,
how many, or what type you mean, specify when something happened or happens, and identify by title or name the agents and recipients of particular actions.
Vague: They received some complaints about it some time ago.
Specific: Our customer service representatives received 36 complaints about Model
G500 in 2013.
Readers, though we might wish otherwise, are not mind readers. They may not understand what descriptive terms such as soon, later, good, bad, nice, numerous, sub- stantially, or a majority really mean. These are terms that are often used out of ness, as hedging devices that sound less harsh and polite- demanding than specific words.
Vague: A majority of employees indicated they would sign the agreement soon.
Specific: Close to 75 per cent of employees indicated they would sign the agreement by Friday.
Vague: The stock is performing poorly. (Which stock? Performing how poorly?) Snecific: Shares of Grocerynet.com lost 15 per cent of their market value in 2013.
3. Avoid ambiguous and non-idiomatic expressions. Ambiguous statements--state ments that are open to interpretaioncan be confusing for readers. For instance, centence such as She said on Thursaay she would drop by the office can mean two eithet that the statement was made on Thursday or that the visit would that dav. As you compose your arart or write your message, check for potential
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multiple meanings and keep in mind that readers like consistency, thus making it important to avoid using two or more names for the same Using idiomatic thing. expressions can also reduce confusion. Idioms are word group- ings that "sound right" to a typical reader and have special meaning distinct from their literal meaning: hand in (submit), look up (search for information), and find out (determine or discover information). Used correctly, these phrasal verbs add punch to
your writing, but they can also be difficult for anyone new to English to remember or decipher. Idiomatic usage also applies to the pairing of prepositions with adjectives (different from) and nouns (use for). For instance, the phrase "to have confidence in" is
correct but "to have confidence on" is not. When you need to know which preposition to pair with a particular word, it is always wise to refer to a college-level dictionary or
an idiomatic dictionary, such as the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary.
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4. Use comparisons and analogies to clarify. Likening an unfamiliar or complex con cept to a familiar one is a common form of explanation. In fact, the business world is
full of descriptive analogies, such as brain drain (a general term used by management
for the cross-border or overseas migration of specialists), which make fuzzy concepts
clear and tangible. When there is no other way to explain a concept, a comparison
can help to bring it into sharper focus. (See also Appendix A, under the heading
"Usage: Differentiating Commonly Confused Words.")
WORD CHOICE STEP 4: PRACTISE FACTUAL AND
ETHICAL COMMUNICATION
How you communicate on the job is a reflection of your ethical standards and those of
your organization. With this in mind, it is important to follow ethical practices in your
workplace communication. Here is a recap of tips for ethical business communication
already discussed in Chapter 1.
- Be reasoned, factual, and moderate in your judgments. Keep personal biases out of
your workplace communication and use only inclusive, non-discriminatory language
(see the following sections). - Consider the impact your communication has on others as well as yourself.
Make sure the actions you endorse are legal and that your communication would
reflect well on you if it were disclosed publicly. Bending the rules, even for a trusted
colleague, might compromise your integrity - Consult qualified colleagues. If you suspect that what you are writing is contentious
or incriminating, seek out experienced co-workers to help you navigate ethical
minefields and find feasible solutions to the wording of important messages
and documents. - Avoid libellous language. As stated in Chapter 1, common law protects every persorn
against libel (printed character defamation).* Words that are harmful and potentially
libellous include drunk, lazy, crazy, crooked, corrupt, incompetent, stupid, maniac, drug
addict, junkie, thief, and crippled. - Be timely and accurate in your communication. Avoid unjustified delays in replying
or processing information. Retain print or electronic copies of important documents. - Avoid untrue, deceptive or miselading statements. There are stiff penalities for all forms of misrepresentation, including false advertising. It is a good policy to back up
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any generalization qualified by entirely, completely, or always with supportable tacts
and evidence.
7. Know what you can and cannot disclose to certain parties. Familiarize yourself
with corporate disclosure practices and confidentiality agreements and handle your
organization's intellectual property with care. Follow proper channels of communication,
know what you can or must communicate, and carefully weigh both sides of an
issue before you act or comment on it.
8. Distinguish between fact and opinion. Let readers know the difference between
unsubstantiated belief or conjecture and verifiable fact. Passing off an opinion as a fact
is misleading and unethical.
9. Don't claim authorship of documents you have not written. The consequences of
plagiarism-not giving credit where credit is due-are serious. Always acknowledge
your sources through notes or citations, and never take credit for ideas that arent
your own.
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For effective writing on the job, opt for language that has the following features: |
Achieving Conciseness
It may come as no surprise that the origin of the term business is busy-ness. Time constraints
and pressing deadlines are the norm for most business people. Therefore,
receive workplace documents that get to the point directly, with an economy of words and
a minimum of clutter. A modest amount of time spent in crafting a concise, easy-to-read,
ey expect to
well-organized message is time saved for your readers. In turn, time saved translates not
just into money earned or saved but into goodwill from the busy people you communicate
with on a regular basis. Compare the following messages-think about how long it takes to
read each one and how the choice of words affects coherence and readability:
Original: This is a just a very brief memo to inform you that it is the opinion of the
employee council that at the present time it is expedient to undertake an
investigation of the possible institution of a proposed on-site fitness centre
Kindly be advised that anytime up to August 31 you should make your views
known to your employee council representative.
Revised: The employee council invites your input on the proposed creation of an on-site
fitness centre. Please contact your employee council representative before
August 31.
Long, indirect ways of expressing things are a major source of wordiness. While conciseness
is a virtue in business communication, the same cannot be said for conciserness that is
overdone, leading to messages that sound uneven, too blunt, or too rude. A little terseness
or even abruptness-like the kind that occurs naturally in a quick e-mail as you move
from one thought to the next--can be expected occasionally and is usually excusable.
Readers may begin to have problems, though, when they encounter a writing style that
is so telegraphic that there is not enough detail or development to make a message lucid,
understandable, or complete. After all, readers should not be expected to supply or mentally
fill in missing words.
Conciseness means using the fewest words to say what you need to accurately and
completely Weighing the need for conciseness against similar concerns for completeness
and politeness is important once you pass the drat phase, where wordiness is understandable.
Knowing what you can eliminate without sacrificing your intended meaning
or ignoring your readers' needs is key to answering the triple demands of conciseness,
completeness, and politeness.
Wordy: Please note that you are requested to read and offer your
comments on the attached file.
Terse: Read this. Get back to mne.
Concise and polite: Please review and comment on the attached file.
Politeness strategies sometimes work at cross-purposes to editing techniques, but it is
still relatively easy to write concise messages that have the right level of courtesy. Editing
documents for conciseness is really a torm of precision revision. You can start by easily
eliminating anything that does not add meaning to your message: long lead-ins, noun
conversions, padded and redundant expressions, needless relative pronouns, and excess
modifiers. Getting rid of sentence padding and achieving conciseness requires only a little
extra time, so avoid falling into the same trap as French mathematician Blaise Pascal, who
once admitted to a friend, "I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to
make it short." Here are nine ways to keep your messages
concise:
- Eliminate long lead-ins. Baseball pitchers warm up in the bullpen before they head
to the mound. Many writers prefer to "limber up" in the same way by starting their
sentences with an introductory phrase or two betore they get to the point. While
softening a message in this way is a common politeness strategy, lead-ins are mostly
unnecessary
because they add nothing to a sentence except for information that is
already obvious (e.g., This message is to infrm you that. . ). Readers in a hurry want
information conveyed to them as directly as possible. Unless extreme politeness is
required, delete any opening phrases ending in that or because. In brief messages
such as routine e-mail, make sure you get to the point before a count of three.
Wordy: l am writing to inform you that parking lot C will be closed for maintenance
Monday, September 30.
Concise: Parking lot C will be closed for maintenance Monday, September 30.
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2. Revise noun conversions. Each type of word has a ditterent purpose. Verbs are
"doing" words that convey actions, conditions, and states ot being. Nouns name
people, places, things, and abstract concepts. When verbs are converted into nouns,
often with the addition of a -tion or -ment ending, they lose their power and agency
like an engine running on empty, and in turn require weak supporting verbs to
convey their actions fully All the attention is then focused on the converted noun
words such as establishment, approval, decision-instead of on the primary action of
the sentence, which is hidden in the long noun phrase. As you review the chart below,
note how affected and formal noun conversion phrases sound when compared with
the verbs from which they are derived:
| Noun Conversion Phrase Verb reach a conclusion conclude make the assumption assume make a decision decide conduct an investigation investigate engage in consultation with consult give consideration to consider give authorization for authorize |
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Noun conversions (or nominalizations, as they are sometimes known) may souna
impressive and can even slow down the pace of your writing, but they will also make
your writing weak and wordy, so it is best to avoid using them.
Wordy: CanPac undertook a revision of its full-year earnings forecast.
Concise: CanPac revised its full-year earnings forecast.
Wordy: Leading economists made a prediction of a stronger Canadian dollar.
Concise: Leading economists predicted a stronger Canadian dollar.
Wordy: City council brought about an amendment to the bylaw. Concise: City council amended the bylaw.
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3. Eliminate redundancies. Redundancies are unplanned repetitions--word pairs that express the same meaning twice. Avoid the following "doubled-up" expressions by eliminating the italicized word:
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repetitions. absolutely essential enter into past experience |
4. Eliminate or revise empty words and phrases. Rid your sentences of imprecise, inexact language. Clear away the deadwood-words that lack meaning--and trim padded expressions.
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Replace With am of the opinion that believe as a matter of fact later at this point in time now, currently, at present by an act of coincidence |
Articles such as the, a, and an are sometimes overapplied. Omit the before plural
nouns expressing generalizations.
Unnecessary Article: The human resources specialists review the applications.
Articles Omitted: Human resources specialists review applications.
Se strong, precise, accurate verbs. Opt for clear, precise, nstructive verbs tar
than extended verb phrases.
Wordy: The learning centre placed an order for materials for the courses.
Elminate the need for intensifiers and quaifiers-words such as really, extremel
ncredibly, definitely, rather-by finding a verb that is an exact tit for the meaning ve
wish to deliver.
Concise: The learning centre ordered course materials.
mely,
you
Wordy: We were really incredibly thrilled to hear of the partnership.
Concise: We were delighted to hear of the partnership.
Avoid poorly defined, ambiguous verbs whose meanings are open to interpretation
Substitute strong verbs for -sion and -tion words.
Weak Verb: Buying market share in foreign markets affected profits.
affected how?)
Precise: Buying market share in foreign markets increased profits by
10 per cent.
Replace weak verbs, such as have and be (am, is, are, was, were) when they occur
alone, with strong ones.
Weak Verb: The CEO is of the opinion that the company will survive the current erisis that has to do with dot-com instability.
Precise: The CEO believes the company will survive the current crisis caused by dot-com instability.
Weak Verb: It is necessary for him to complete the application.
Precise: He needs to (or must) complete the application. Replace could/would/should with strong verbs when action you do not need to show that an is conditional.
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Weak Verb: In her previous job, she would write to charitable foundations.
Precise: In her previous job, she wrote to charitable foundations.
As much as possible, write in the active voice (as opposed to the passive voice, Chapter 4), which se is usually the most concise way to convey an action.
Passive Voice: The script of the speech should be edited and double-spaced.
Active Voice: Edit and double space the script of the speech.
6. Revise prepositional phrases. Prepositions-common words such as in, to, at, oJ
after, with, between-combine wth other words to form prepositional phrases
These modifying phrases show relationships in time and space, indiccating how, when, where or how long something happens. The wordiness of some prepositional phrases can make sentences sound awkwardand overwritten. The phrase can usually be replaced with a single-word modifier.
Wordy: An error in computation was discovered in the report from last spring.
Concise: A computational error was discovered in last spring's report
Prepositions are useful in breaking up long chains of nouns used as adjectives. They
clarity relationships so readers can tell which nouns are modifiers and which nouns
are being modified.
growth management executive training growth management training for executives petroleum diesel replacement fuel-> replacement fuel for petroleum diesel climate change mitigation technologies -> technologies to mitigate climate change
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7. Eliminate fillers. Avoid beginning sentences with empty filler words such as there is/
are and it is/was (when it has not been defined) that force readers to wait for the sub
ject that the entire sentence hinges on. Expletive constructions, as they are called,
act as a common delaying tactic that makes sense only when extreme politeness or
emphasis is called for. Otherwise, delete the expletive and craft a straightforward sen-
tence that begins with the subject, followed closely by verb and object.
Wordy: There are three bids that the board is considering.
Concise: The board is considering three bids
Wordy: Itis paying down debt that is our priority.
Concise: Paying down debt is our priority.
8. Shorten multiple that/which/who clauses. Used to excess, clauses introduced by
that, which, and who create a clumsy stop-and-go sentence ilow. In most cases, you
can drop that, which, or who as well as the verb that immediately follows it. Sometimes
an entire clause can be reduced to a single word by making this simple change.
Wordy: His company, which is reputed to be a leader in employee satisfaction,
hosts regular events for employees who have retired.
Concise: His company, a reputed leader in employee satisfaction, hosts regular
events for retirees.
Wordy: We offer prices that are competitive.
Concise: We offer competitive prices.
9. Combine shorter sentences, reduce clauses and phrases. Use pronouns (that,
which, who, as well as personal pronouns) to combine shorter related sentences and
eliminate monotonous repetition. Reduce sentences to clauses, clauses to phrases,
and phrases to single words.
Wordy: She is a sales representative. She specializes in com mercial real estate.
Concise: She is a sales representative who specializes in commercial real estate.
(second sentence reduced to a clause)
Concise: She is a sales representative specializing in commercial real estate
(second sentence reduced to a phrase)
Concise: She is a commercial real estate sales specialist.
(second sentence reduced to descriptive words)
| Checklist: Conciseness Have you used as few words as possible to make your point?Have you eliminated long lead-ins and sentence fillers?Have you replaced noun conversions (and-ize words) with strong verbs? Have you eliminated redundancies, empty words, and empty phrasesHave yu replaced prepositional phrases with single-word modifiers? Have you shortened clumsy that/which/who clauses and combined short, related sentences? |
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Tone
ers irame of mind, inklings of demand or respect, arrogance or modesty, or concern. This inditterence or impression is a product of tone. Tone refers to the mood of a implied attitude of the writer message-the to the subject and readers. In the absence of vocal inflection and visual cues such as body language, tone in written communication creates an impres- sion based purely on the words that are used and the length and structure of writer happens to choose. sentences the
The tone of a message should support its content and remain beginning fairly consistent from to end. A wide range oi tone is possible in workplace communication, meaning that a casual tone appropriate tor an e-mail message to an associate will be unacceptable in a formal report, which denmands a more serious and depends professional tone. Ultimately, much on the writing situation, purpose, and channel of communication. Once you have determined the tone you want to use, it should remain consistent throughout ment, mainly because erratic, a docu- Jekyll-and-Hyde" shifts in tone give mixed messages unsettle readers and leave them that contused about your attitude and intentions. Make sure the tone you establish supports your content and creates the right impression.
tone the implied attitude of the author to the reader, as
Word reflected by choice.
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TUNE IN TO WORD CONNOTATIONS
Words with similar or overlapping meanings, like the synonyms in a typical thesauru5 entry, rarely mean exactly the same thing. While a word's denotation-its literal, diction ary definition-is something it may share with many synonyms, its connotation-15 imnlied. associative meaning-is distinct in terms of the positive or negative emotional resDonse the word provokes. Ihe way a word atects the reader helps to differentiate pven subtly, from other words witn it, similar or overlapping meanings. Consider the con notation or emotional overtone ot each word in the following series:
Serie cheap/inexpensive/cost-effective/low priced/thrifty/economical
artificial/faux/synthetic/sham/take/man-made/imitation/mock flexible/changeable/fickle/adaptable/compliant/resilient
Implied meaning has the power to shape perceptions, which accounts for why a "pre-owned vehicle" may sound like a better investment than a "used" or "second-hand"
car, even though the products these terms label may be virtually the same. Tuning in to
the connotations of words can help you anticipate your readers reaction to the words you choose. The right words may not just be the ones with the more accurate denotations but
the ones with the most appropriate connotations.
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KEEP YOUR STYLE CONVERSATIONAL
Formality involves the observance of style rules and conventions. Levels of formality
depend mostly on word choice, sentence length, and sentence structure. Most business
writing, with the exception of formal reports, meets the needs of a wide audience with
a mid-level style that is fairly conversational and moderately informal. Writing conver
sationally is as easy as imagining yourself sitting across from your reader and expressing
yourself as you would in an ordinary face-to-face discussion or meeting. In writing your
message as you would say it, try to resist the temptation to be overly chatty or to repeat
yourself. The result should be unforced and natural, not stiff or stully. Naturalness, however,
should never be confused with sloppiness, so keep sentence length manageable, use
correct grammar, and edit to eliminate awkwardness. A written style that is too informal or
casual-with noticeable slang, colloquialisms, and grammar abuses-can give the impres
sion of carelessness and even suggest poor work habits. Wiriters have some freedom to
vary their level of formality from document to document, but a mid-level style is typical
of business letters, memos, informal reports, and most print journalism. Its elements are
summed up in the checklist below:
- even-handed, efficient, conversational tone
- mix of familiar words and business terms
- Correct grammar and standard punctuation
- manageable sentence structure (one to three clauses per sentence)
- single-word verbs and phrasal verbs (ook into instead of investigate; throw out
instead of discard) - occasional contractions ('m, she's, we're, it's, can't, isnt, whos)
- personal pronouns and limited forms of personal address
- slang, legalisms, long words, outdated language
Examples: lam pleased to submit the enclosed report.
Please have a look at the enclosed report.
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SELECT THE RIGHT LEVEL OF FORMALITY:
PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL STYLES
Within the acceptable range of business style, it is possible to be more or less formal and
more or less personal. A personal style puts you and/or your readers into your sentences
through the free use of first- and second-person pronouns (I, me, we, us, you). The impression
it gives is one of warmth, friendliness, and candour, helping to build rapport and
engage readers. Because facts are either delivered from the writers perspective or targeted
Specitically at readers, this style sometimes seems biased or slanted, even when it is not.
Personal style is characterized by the following elements:
- short sentencesS
- personal pronouns
- First names and personal references
- active voice used throughout
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An impersonal style uses only third-person pronouns (he, she, it, one, they). It sounds
detached yet objective, emphasizing facts and concepts rather than the writers perspective.
For this reason, impersonal style is commonly used for announcements and policy
statements. Warmth gives way to efficiency, but the result is not necessarily stuffy or pretentious.
Impersonal style is characterized by the following elements:
- a mix of sentence lengths, including long sentences
- no personal pronouns
- no first names or personal references
- legitimate use of the passive voice
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Personal Style Impersonal Style
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BE POSITIVE
Is the glass half empty or half full? The answer to this question separates the optimists
from the pessimists. Readers usually like to think of their glasses as half full, which means
they are more receptive to good news or neutral news that is free of negativity. Although
you should never knowingly distort facts or ideas just for the sake of putting a positive spin on them, it is worth remembering that positive wording makes messages readerfriendly
and inviting. Unles you are issuing a warning meant to stop or deter certain
actions, it is useful to emphasize what the reader can do instead of what the reader can't.
Negative attitude: You cannot use Verified by Visa until you have been issued a
password.
Positive attitude: You may begin using Verified by Visa once you receive password.
Avoid negative wording for positive or neutral ideas:
Negative wording: You will never be sorry you purchased a three-year extended warranty.
Positive wording: Your three-year extended warranty covers all parts and on-site repairs.
Weigh the impact of blatant or hidden negatives such as regret, mistake, oversight, overlook, rnegligence, neglect, unable, unfortunately, allege, careless, reject, deny, and fail(ure) before
you use them. Used the wrong way, these can be harsh, inflexible words that antagonize
readers by painting them as adversaries or inferiors.
- By failing to park in your assigned space, you caused our visitors a terrible
inconvenience. - Parking spaces adjacent to the entrance are reserved for visitors.
Rely on the subordinating power of grammatical structures such as dependent clauses and
the passive voice (see Chapter 4) to reduce negativity and depersonalize unfavourable facts.
Negative: We cannot extend credit to you at this time.
Less negative: Although credit cannot be extended to you at this time, we look forward
to serving you on a cash basis.
STRESS READER BENEFITS AND RELEVANCE
Occasionally, everyone reads a message only to ask, What does this have to do with me?
Relevant, reader-tocused messages never provoke this reaction. Instead readers can easily
see how information concerns them or how they stand to benefit.
When readers feel that their opinions matter and have been taken into consideration,
they are more likely to follow instructions and comply with requests. To write in a readerfocused
style, edit your messages with the following suggestions in mind:
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1. Present meaningful content. Avoid sending trivial or unnecessary messa
ges, as they might cause your reader to overlook the seriousness of future, more
important messages.
2. Develop a positive you-attitude. Make the readers part of your message by presenting
your information from their point of view rather than your owm whenever possible.
An exclusively writer-centred approach can sound egotistical, but it is possible to
inject you-attitude into your messages by switching trom tirst-person pronouns (, me,
my, we, us, our) to more inviting second-person pronouns (you, your, yourself).
Writer-centred: lam hosting a private reception at the Royal York Hotel on
December 15 and am inviting all senior managers to attend.
Reader-focused: As a senior manager, you are cordially invited to a private
reception at the Royal York Hotel on December 15.
Writer-centred: We offer our repeat customers substantial discounts.
Reader-focused: As a repeat customer, you will enjoy substantial discounts.
A sincere you-attitude is one that doesn't overuse second-person pronouns to the
point where readers feel uncomfortable or manipulated. Do not use the you-attitude
negatively, as readers could feel singled out, criticized, or accused:
Negative you-attitude: Your failure to observe safety guidelines will result in a
mechanical shutdown.
Neutral attitude: The machine automatically shuts down whenever a safety
infraction occurs.
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A good way to involve readers is by using a compliance-boosting we-attitudea common
feature of managerial communications-that breaks down authority and unites
WTiter and reader in common "we're-all-in-this-together" values, goals, and initiatives.
3. Emphasize benefts to readers. Put yourself in your readers' place. Appeal to readers
and their interests by indicating what they stand to gain. This may be all the incentive
or motivation necessary to encourage a favourable, action-oriented response. This
technique is especially well suited to service-oriented messages.
Writer-centred: We ask that all customers complete the enclosed questionnaire
by April 30 so that we may assess the effectiveness of our
technical support services.
Reader-focused: To ensure you receive the highest standard of technical support
please assist us by completing the encdosed quality-control
questionnaire.
BE POLITE
A little common courtesy can make readers feel uncommonly good. Politeness creates a
humane environment of mutual respect and consideration where work gets done more
easily. Rudeness, pushiness, sarcasm, and abruptness-whether actual or alienate readers. perceived-can Being courteous involves more than just adding a simple please or thank
you to brief or routine messages: courtesy is a mindset with zero tolerance for sarcasm, condescension, presumptuousness, or anger. Emotional language can provoke hostile reactions, so avoid phrases of demand or advisement that belittle or talk down to readers.
Rude: Obviously, if you had the slightest idea of our policies you would have known that unless you wantto be fired, you should never use company-issued cellphones for personal calls.
Polite: Please reserve your company-issued cellphone for business calls so that
customers and associates may contact you without delay.
Extreme politeness, on the other hand, can be mistaken for coldness or insincerity. It can also undermine your assertiveness or authority, especially if you suppress or censor what you need to say for fear of sounding impolite. Do your best to strive for a courteous tone that sounds natural, friendly, and unforced.
Too Polite: Kindly be advised that, if even the smallest question arises, we will be only too happy to help.
Polite: Please contact us if you have any questions or concerns.
USE INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE
No one likes being unfairly singled out on the basis ot sex, ethnicity, age, disability, or group membership--but this is exactiy Wnat nappens in cases of discrimination, Not only unacceptable but also against the law, disCrimination involves the making of unjust and nreiudicial distinctions about individuals. The Canadian Human Rights Commission (CHRC) defines discriminatory treatment on 1l prohibited grounds: age, sex (including
pregnancy and childbirth), sexual orientation, religion, race, colour, national or ethnic
origin, marital status, family status, physical or mental disability (including past/present
alcohol dependence), and pardoned criminal conviction. Discriminatory and genderbiased
language, even when it is unintentional, demeans and offends readers, leaving them
hurt and unreceptive. Such language is actionable, opening the way for harassment suits
and legal proceedings. Using inclusive, bias-free language that treats all groups equally
and fairly shows sensitivity, consideration, and respect, all of which build goodwill and
better business relations.
- Don't make discriminatory comments. Avoid prohibited references when writing
about groups and individuals. Such information, even when it is offered in a positive
spirit, is irrelevant and can contribute to negative stereotypes.
- ☒ Hassan, who fasts throughout the day during this month's observance of
Ramadan, will nevertheless be available to answer your questions. - ☑ Hassan will be available to answer your questions.
- ☒ Please contact Piotr, who has a nice Polish accent but speaks English well.
- ☑ Please contact Piotr, our director of marketing services.
2. Use only gender-neutral job titles and salutations. Substitute correct and neutral
job titles-ones that do not suggest that only men or only women can hold a particular
job-for traditional, gender-specific ones:
| Gender-Biased Gender-Neutral salesperson, sales representative spokesperson, company representative salesman spokesman businessman business person chairman chair, chairperson workman worker man-hours working hours female manager, male nurse manager, nurse man and wife husband and wife, spouses deliveryman COurier |
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Sexist salutations such as Dear Sirs and Gentlemen are likewise considered outdated
because they exclude a female audience. Revise any sentences containing sexist terms
and automatic gender assumptions about jobs:
- Account managers are invited to bring their wives spouses/partners.
- The
girts in bookkeepingbookkeepers will correct the error in your account. or
Aruna Sharma and Joyce Fitzgerald in bookkeeping will correct the error in your
account. (Whenever possible, refer to men and women by their specific
names.) - Each
secretaryreportstoher stpervisot: Secretaries report to their supervisors.
3. Use Masculine Pronouns Reasonably. Avoid using masculine pronouns (he, his, him,
himself) to refer to groups or individuals of unknown gender. The old grammatical
rule of "common gender"-with its blanket use ot masculine pronouns to refer to
men as well as women-no longer applies and now comes across as sexist, Consider
the exclusionary nature of the following sentence, in which all executives are assumed
to be male: Each executive has his own parking space. There are several ways to make
your writing gender-neutral when it comes to pronoun use:
☑ Replace the offending pronoun with an indefinite article (a, an): Every
executive has a parking space.
☑ Recast the sentence, making the singular pronoun plural: All executives have
their own parking spaces.
☑ Use both mas culine and feminine pronouns when they do not recur
throughout the sentence: Every executive has his or her own parking space. Multiple
pronoun pairs can be awkward and im practical when revised this way.
☑ Choose plural pronouns: They and their are non-standard replacements for
he and his-common in spoken English and increasingly acceptable in written
English but still not necessarily the best choice, especially in formal documents:
Every lawyer has their own parking space.
WRITE WITH CONFIDENCE
A contident tone encourages readers to accept your decisions and opinions rather than
question them. When you need to express yourself firmly and decisively, apply the following
strategies:
1. Use definite, forward-looking language. Give priority to strong, deliberate verbs,
precise nouns, and vivid adjectives.
☒ Although I might not have as much experience as the other applicants, I did take
a few courses in risk management while trying to complete the requirements of
my MBA.
☑Two courses in risk management for my recently completed MBA allow me to contribute to degree will your mutual funds division.
Use helping verbs of qualification, such as seems, could, might, and may, only when you need to express conjecture, doubt, or uncertainty
2. Don't make unnecessary apologies. Apologies weaken your perceived authority, especially if you find yourself apologizing tor routine requests you must make to do your job effectively. Understand when apologies are needed (i.e., when something has gone wrong) and when they are not.
☒ l am so sorry to have to askyou to contirm the time and location of our next meeting.
☑ Please confirm the time and location of our next meeting.
3. Use strong, assertive phrasing rather than "weasel words," Deferential and well- intentioned phrases such as I hope and I trust can sometimes sound weak and tenta- tive. With overuse, phrases such as pernaps y you have time, maybe if it's not too much trouble, if you could possibly, or Jna t assertiveness from propabie that can slowly drain the power and your writing. Other hedging ords to watch for and use selectively include tend, in some ways, perhaps, seems, seemingly, possibly.
4. Be knowledgeable and informative. Know your subject well enough to make it
intelligible to the reader. A command of the facts is a natural credibility booster. Wel1
presented data and meaningful information help reduce readers' uncertainty and
allow them to take action and make sound decisions.
5. Guard against overconfidence. Too much confidence can make you sound egotistical.
Try not to cross the line between firmness and blatant arrogance. Remember that
boasting not only affects credibility but also turns readers off.
Boastful: You will undoubtedly agree that my marketing genius makes me more
than qualified for the job.
Confident: My experience in marketing and additional background in public
relations have prepared me for this challenging position.
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Select the right level of formality. Decide how formal or personal you want to be and Stress reader benefits and relevance. Cultivate a sincere you-attitude and interpret |
| [Flag Needed] Use plain, precise, and current language to make your message clear and meaningful to your reader. Be ethical and purposeful in your choice of words to reflect good public relations for your company and good human relations with colleagues.Be brief and use as few words as possible to express your thoughts and pass on information. Use a personal or inmpersonal style that's appropriate to the type of message you write. Make your messages constructive, relevant, reader-focused, and inclusive. Adopt a tone that's conversational, confident, and courteous |
EDITORS NOTE: Watch out for words that look complete but are not:
e.g., mstead - 'm' is in place of 'in' — I've also seen 'c' and 'l' put together to make a 'd' (cl vs. d). The editor seems to recognizes some of these missteps as words, especially in the case of 'cl', and won't underline the word for correction.
Business Style: Word Choice, Conciseness, and Tone
Learning Objectives
- Use plain, precise, and familiar language to make your point, prevent misunderstanding, and write with impact.
- Identify and eliminate problem words that do not convey your meaning clearly and directly.
- Choose accurate and appropriate words to create constructive, inclusive, reader oriented messages.
- Identify strategies for writing concise messages.
- Develop a conversational and confident tone and adjust it to suit a range of writing purposes, professional situations, and readerships.
- Differentiate between personal and impersonal styles.
A few decades ago, legal contracts, from the most detailed business agreements to the most routine mortgage forms, were written in a formal style full of twisted sentences and difficult language (called legalese) that often made key concepts, obligations, and rights impossible to understand. In Canada, banking and insurance industries were at the forefront of the transition from this type of writing to a plain language style. In 1979, Royal Insurance of Canada was producing the first plain-language insurance policy and Scotiabank was working with lawyer Robert Dick to redesign and rewrite its loan forms. Through the mandate of the Canadian Bankers Association (CBA), Scotiabank has maintained its commitment to plain language: "We know that plain language makes sense for our customers. And it also makes sense for us-saving time by eliminating confusion and improving communication within our organizations and with our customers:'2
Developing an effective business writing style is the key to reaching your readers and to conveying your intended message. Style comprises the rules, conventions, and options you need to consider whenever you write. These practices apply to the words you choose and combine to form sentences: how correct they are, how well they support the substance of your information and ideas, and how right they are for particular situations and audiences. Effective business style also involves thinking about how words "sound" and how your readers are affected by the words you use. With practice, you can learn to vary your style to suit a variety of situations.
Good style creates a good impression, not just of you but of the company you represent. By paying attention to the language you use, you can eliminate the frustration caused by communication that is hard to read, confusing, or uninformative and thereby build and sustain business relationships. Savvy communicators know that a clear, crisp, adaptable style kept as tight, lean, and factual as possible can simplify everyday tasks and make information manageable. In the long term, good writing supported by an effective business style is a major contributor to career growth and a vital factor in building personal and corporate credibility.
Word Choice
PLAIN STYLE
The need for clear, understandable, concrete language is not unique to the age of high speed communication. Centuries ago, when people first began to write for science and business and industry, demands were heard for the kind of simplicity and economy that is now the hallmark of plain style or plain language.
Plain style makes it acceptable for you to write in the same everyday language that you use when you speak and helps you to reach your readers instead of putting your audience at a distance. One of the aims of plain style is to banish dead and empty words in favour of lively, expressive ones that readers connect with immediately and remember easily. Because it saves time, puts readers first, and makes ideas and information meaningful, plain language is good for business. For a sense of the impact plain language can have, note the difference in the following sentences:
I will be responsible for actioning and undertake a prioritization of my commitments in terms of my daily scheduling.
I will arrange my daily schedule.
The case for putting plain language into wider practice continues to gain momentum. In recent decades, the international plain-language movement — dedicated to presenting information so it makes sense to most people and can be acted upon after a single reading — has gained the endorsement of government agencies, businesses, professions, and industries that value comprehensibility over management speak and the bureaucratic bluster of legalese. Plain style, with its pared-down, keep-it-simple approach, is characterized by a few common-sense principles:
- Use common, everyday words, except for necessary technical terms. Language should be familiar and accessible, not pretentious.
- Use reasonable sentence lengths. Aim for twenty words or fewer to avoid padding or needlessly overloading sentences.
- Use active-voice verbs and phrasal verbs. Active voice verbs show who or what performs an action. Phrasal verbs are simple and informal, combining verbs and prepositions to deliver their meaning (for example work out instead of devise) (See also Chapter 4, "Applying Active and Passive Voice," pp 110-12.)
- Use personal pronouns: I, you, and we. Personal pronouns used in moderation in all documents except formal reports, give you the fluency to say what you need LO with as little awkwardness as possible.
- Use unambiguous language. Ambiguity refers to an inexact expression that has multiple meanings and 1s therefore open to interpretation (for example, does Ricardo likes boring classmates mean that Ricardo likes to bore classmates or that he likes classmates who are boring?). Good communicators do their best to prevent ambiguity from creeping into their writing.
- Place the subject as close as possible to the verb. The meaning of a sentence relies on the clear relationship of its subject and verb. Tangled sentences result when long modifying phrases separate these all-important elements.
voice: a term that describes a verb's ability to show whether the subject of a sentence acts or is acted upon
phrasal verb: a verb that combines with one or more prepositions to deliver its meaning
pronouns: word that replace or refer to nouns
ambiguity: a term that describes an obscure or inexact meaning
Some writers have a hard time accepting plain style because they think it will make their writing dull or simplistic, but such fears are unfounded Communicating in a plain style won't require you to oversimplify or "dumb down" your content. In fact, an effective plain style gives daily communication energy, impact, and precision that sustains readers' interest and enables them to grasp complicated ideas and activities easily.
WORD CHOICE STEP 1: USE FAMILIAR WORDS
A plain style relies on familiar, accessible language common, everyday words of one or two syllables. Difficult, overstated words tend to be longer, with three or more syllables. In long sentences they can make even the most routine message dense and unreadable. Writers usually resort to long, pretentious, important-sounding words for the wrong reasons — to appear experienced, to intimidate, to impress, or to express authority. Pretentious words can be tempting status symbols and smokescreens, dressing up or hiding you intended meaning, but in the end they usually alienate readers instead of impressing them. Readers often skip over unfamiliar words or only partly grasp their meaning. The consequences of not opting for plain and familiar language can be seen in the following "translation" of a well-known saying:
| Pretentious: | It is preferable to effect the adoption and implementation of precautionary measures than to embark on a regrettable course of action. |
| Plain: | It is better to be safe than sorry. |
If you suspect your own writing is more pretentious than plain, use a readability index (such as Robert Gunning's fog formula) to measure its level of difficulty.
The following tips will help you avoid common word traps:
- Curb your use of words ending in -ize and -ization. Verbs ending in -ize and nouns ending in -ization may sound rich and sophisticated, but they can also lead to an inflated, heavy-handed style that grinds comprehension to a frustrating halt. Some words that fit this category (such as privatize, hospitalize, unionize, maximize, authorization, and specialization) are common and irreplaceable enough to be used without compromising readability. However, many other words ending in -tion, -ment, -ate, and -ism can boggle the mind with their obscurity and obfuscation, so it is important to remember that bigger isn't always better, especially when it comes to these so-called Latinisms that owe their origins to the ancient language of the Roman Empire. The chart below offers some simpler substitutes for bigger, more difficult words:
Plain English -ize Verb -ion Noun make communal use
make best use of
make real
develop a business
finish
communalize utilize
optimize
actualize
corporatize
finalize
communalization utilization
optimization
actualization
corporatization
finalization
- Use words derived from French sparingly. Words that the English language has borrowed from French can sound prestigious and distinctive when used sparingly adding formality to your writing. If overused, though, they can sound contrived and affected when compared with simpler English alternatives.
Plain English French Derivative talk, have a conversation tell, inform
begin, start
converse apprise
commence
- Avoid foreign words and phrases. Phrases such as ad hoc (for a particular purpose) and pro bono (for free) are used in legal documents and formal writing, where they are part of an established idiom. Otherwise, use foreign expressions only when absolutely necessary.
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Plain English Foreign Word/Phrase |
4. Use only job-related jargon. Jargon is the special vocabulary for a group, trade,
profession, or sphere of activity. Terminology of this kind is essential for conducting
business and describing sophisticated concepts and activities accurately and concisely. Certain types of jargon once thought of as specialized-such as computer jargon-are now the stuff of common knowledge. Once-ordinary words such as import, export, and cookie have taken on meanings unique to computing, which in turn have come to be understood by almost everyone. Similarly, many business-related terms, such as fixed rate, intangible assets, scalable technology, delist, and buyback describe actions and concepts that cannot be summed up easily in any other way.
Jargon is permissible when it is purposeful and transparent. Because jargon is a private language of the "inner circle," anyone who uses it must be sure that its special terms, abbreviations, and acronyms will be mutualy understood. To ensure that one persons jargon won't be another persons gobbledegook, size up your audience first and define any special terms you may have used in documents intended for a broad readership.
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5. Bypass buzzwords. Buzzwords are fashionable, otten technical-sounding pieces
of jargon. Known as trendy attention-getters, buzzwords sound fresh, current, and
suitably corporate. Their trendiness is part of their appeal, but it is also a large part
of their drawback because they tend to go out of style quite quickly, often through overuse. Some better-known buzzwords include:
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| synergy co-operative or combined action make or become global paradigm shift a fundamental change in approach or philosophy |
Communications professionals are split
on whether buzzwords are a feature of good
Writing. Clunky corporate "doublespeak" can
kill meaning and be a smokescreen, camouflaging financial problems or poor performance-that is why readers distrust it. In fact,
"straight-talking companies" have been shown
to outperform "non-straight-talking companies." Screening documents, especially
external ones, for buzzwords demonstrates reader awareness and concern tor fair
dealing that helps build confidence in your organization.
A final thought about familiar words: use simple language for getting simple,
time-sensitive messages across. Keep in mind that you won't have to shelve
sophisticated vocabulary completely, just re-evaluate and save it for types of writing that require greater finesse or formality. On the job, pay attention to and learn about language preferences in co-workers' documents and consult your organizations style guidelines, if available, to help you make effective vocabulary choices.
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WORD CHOICE STEP 2: USE FRESH AND CURRENT LANGUAGE
To stay competitive, today's businesses make an effort to explore and implement progressive approaches and technologies. It makes sense, then, for them to do business by using contemporary language that reflects and reinforces those aims and creates a corporate image that is modern and up to date.
- Replace clichés. Clichés are descriptive expressions that have been drained of meaning through overuse. Once vibrant and full of impact, they are now trite. Unless a cliché adds uniqueness or, by way of analogy, sums up something that is otherwise impossible to describe, replace it with fresh and direct language. Here are some of the better-known business clichés:
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tighten our belts needless to say |
2. Retire outdated busines expressions. Many commonly used business expressions have outlasted their usefulness. As holdovers from a centuries-old tradition of business protocol, stock phrases of business jargon have slowly lost their meaning for
modern readers, who see them more as artitacts than as communicative tools. Unless your organization recommends a very formal or traditional style, substitute stiff, outmoded business expressions with modern phrases, especially if you want to project a modern, contemporary image for your organization and yourself.
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Old Style New Style pursuant to your request as you requested
|
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3. Eliminate slang. Slang words that are informal and have is the term for colourful, highly informal words or figures of speech that have meaning specific to a particular era, locality, or occupation. Words that fit this category may be new words or familiar words used in new and sometimes humorous ways (for example pony up, which means "to hand over a sum of money").
Most slang has a short shelf life and may have meaning for only a small audience.
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Slang Translation |
Because slang is extravagant and street-smart in its appeal, it has the power to
shock readers who are unprepared for it, making it unsuitable for most protessional
communication. An exception is slang that is specific to business and management,
including widely accepted terms such as telephone tag, team player, walk (resign trom
a job), and spot (a radio or TV commercial). Slangier terms such as tire kicker (a prospective customer who demands a lot of attention but doesn't buy anything) are fun
and unique but may be too informal for general use.
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4. Avoid instant messaging abbreviations and emoticons. The popularity of e-mail,
texting, and social media has brought about a new lexicon special to high-speed
communicators. At the same time, the popularity of instant messaging (IM) and its
adoption by businesses as a productivity tool is having implications for business
style. Features of IM style-smiley-face icons, deliberately misspelled words, and
e-friendly acronyms-make typing dialogue in real time quicker and easier; however, anyone unfamiliar with this cyber-shorthand may view it as an unwelcome
secret language.
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Abbreviation Plain English |
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Limit your use of Internet abbreviations and emoticons (punctuation used to create sideways faces converying emotions: :), :(, :-<, :-D, and so on) to the channel for which they are inteded- IM communication- and leave them out of the office e-mail and formal corresponce. (Appendix A, under the heading "Abbreviations and Acroynoms," covers abbreviations and acryomucs suitable in professional communication.)
WORD CHOICE STEP 3: KEEP LANGUAGE SPECIFIC, PRECISE,
AND FUNCTIONAL
NOveist Mark Twain once wrote, "the difference between the right word and almost the ight word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." Words that are almost ight tantalize but ultimately frustrate readers by hinting at an intended meaning without actually delivering it. When reading involves guesswork, readers cannot be expected to act on instructions, accept decisions, or give new ideas serious thought. Imprecise wording puts writers in a bad light too because poor word choice can be mistaken tor fuzzy logic or unclear thinking. It is worth keeping in mind that the more exact your word choice is. the more persuasive and informative your message will be. Every word you write should be
clear and purposeful. Here are some tips for writing with precision:
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1. Provide specific details that help readers act on information and requests.
Concrete nouns (things knowable by the senses-computer, annual report, resume)
are easier to grasp than abstract nouns (ntangible things knowable through only
the intellect-integrity, loyalty, justice). Use concrete language as much as possible
to support and explain abstract words and show readers exactly what you mean.
Because the language of business is full of intangible abstracts-security, prestige,
profitability, leadership-hard data can be used to make difticult concepts meaningful
to readers.
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Abstract: Our company demands loyalty.
Abstract/Concrete: Our company demands employee loyalty to corporate policy
2. Quantify facts and avoid vague qualitative statements. Tell readers how much,
how many, or what type you mean, specify when something happened or happens, and identify by title or name the agents and recipients of particular actions.
Vague: They received some complaints about it some time ago.
Specific: Our customer service representatives received 36 complaints about Model
G500 in 2013.
Readers, though we might wish otherwise, are not mind readers. They may not understand what descriptive terms such as soon, later, good, bad, nice, numerous, sub- stantially, or a majority really mean. These are terms that are often used out of ness, as hedging devices that sound less harsh and polite- demanding than specific words.
Vague: A majority of employees indicated they would sign the agreement soon.
Specific: Close to 75 per cent of employees indicated they would sign the agreement by Friday.
Vague: The stock is performing poorly. (Which stock? Performing how poorly?) Snecific: Shares of Grocerynet.com lost 15 per cent of their market value in 2013.
3. Avoid ambiguous and non-idiomatic expressions. Ambiguous statements--state ments that are open to interpretaioncan be confusing for readers. For instance, centence such as She said on Thursaay she would drop by the office can mean two eithet that the statement was made on Thursday or that the visit would that dav. As you compose your arart or write your message, check for potential
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multiple meanings and keep in mind that readers like consistency, thus making it important to avoid using two or more names for the same Using idiomatic thing. expressions can also reduce confusion. Idioms are word group- ings that "sound right" to a typical reader and have special meaning distinct from their literal meaning: hand in (submit), look up (search for information), and find out (determine or discover information). Used correctly, these phrasal verbs add punch to
your writing, but they can also be difficult for anyone new to English to remember or decipher. Idiomatic usage also applies to the pairing of prepositions with adjectives (different from) and nouns (use for). For instance, the phrase "to have confidence in" is
correct but "to have confidence on" is not. When you need to know which preposition to pair with a particular word, it is always wise to refer to a college-level dictionary or
an idiomatic dictionary, such as the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary.
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4. Use comparisons and analogies to clarify. Likening an unfamiliar or complex con cept to a familiar one is a common form of explanation. In fact, the business world is
full of descriptive analogies, such as brain drain (a general term used by management
for the cross-border or overseas migration of specialists), which make fuzzy concepts
clear and tangible. When there is no other way to explain a concept, a comparison
can help to bring it into sharper focus. (See also Appendix A, under the heading
"Usage: Differentiating Commonly Confused Words.")
WORD CHOICE STEP 4: PRACTISE FACTUAL AND
ETHICAL COMMUNICATION
How you communicate on the job is a reflection of your ethical standards and those of
your organization. With this in mind, it is important to follow ethical practices in your
workplace communication. Here is a recap of tips for ethical business communication
already discussed in Chapter 1.
- Be reasoned, factual, and moderate in your judgments. Keep personal biases out of
your workplace communication and use only inclusive, non-discriminatory language
(see the following sections). - Consider the impact your communication has on others as well as yourself.
Make sure the actions you endorse are legal and that your communication would
reflect well on you if it were disclosed publicly. Bending the rules, even for a trusted
colleague, might compromise your integrity - Consult qualified colleagues. If you suspect that what you are writing is contentious
or incriminating, seek out experienced co-workers to help you navigate ethical
minefields and find feasible solutions to the wording of important messages
and documents. - Avoid libellous language. As stated in Chapter 1, common law protects every persorn
against libel (printed character defamation).* Words that are harmful and potentially
libellous include drunk, lazy, crazy, crooked, corrupt, incompetent, stupid, maniac, drug
addict, junkie, thief, and crippled. - Be timely and accurate in your communication. Avoid unjustified delays in replying
or processing information. Retain print or electronic copies of important documents. - Avoid untrue, deceptive or miselading statements. There are stiff penalities for all forms of misrepresentation, including false advertising. It is a good policy to back up
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any generalization qualified by entirely, completely, or always with supportable tacts
and evidence.
7. Know what you can and cannot disclose to certain parties. Familiarize yourself
with corporate disclosure practices and confidentiality agreements and handle your
organization's intellectual property with care. Follow proper channels of communication,
know what you can or must communicate, and carefully weigh both sides of an
issue before you act or comment on it.
8. Distinguish between fact and opinion. Let readers know the difference between
unsubstantiated belief or conjecture and verifiable fact. Passing off an opinion as a fact
is misleading and unethical.
9. Don't claim authorship of documents you have not written. The consequences of
plagiarism-not giving credit where credit is due-are serious. Always acknowledge
your sources through notes or citations, and never take credit for ideas that arent
your own.
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For effective writing on the job, opt for language that has the following features: |
Achieving Conciseness
It may come as no surprise that the origin of the term business is busy-ness. Time constraints
and pressing deadlines are the norm for most business people. Therefore,
receive workplace documents that get to the point directly, with an economy of words and
a minimum of clutter. A modest amount of time spent in crafting a concise, easy-to-read,
ey expect to
well-organized message is time saved for your readers. In turn, time saved translates not
just into money earned or saved but into goodwill from the busy people you communicate
with on a regular basis. Compare the following messages-think about how long it takes to
read each one and how the choice of words affects coherence and readability:
Original: This is a just a very brief memo to inform you that it is the opinion of the
employee council that at the present time it is expedient to undertake an
investigation of the possible institution of a proposed on-site fitness centre
Kindly be advised that anytime up to August 31 you should make your views
known to your employee council representative.
Revised: The employee council invites your input on the proposed creation of an on-site
fitness centre. Please contact your employee council representative before
August 31.
Long, indirect ways of expressing things are a major source of wordiness. While conciseness
is a virtue in business communication, the same cannot be said for conciserness that is
overdone, leading to messages that sound uneven, too blunt, or too rude. A little terseness
or even abruptness-like the kind that occurs naturally in a quick e-mail as you move
from one thought to the next--can be expected occasionally and is usually excusable.
Readers may begin to have problems, though, when they encounter a writing style that
is so telegraphic that there is not enough detail or development to make a message lucid,
understandable, or complete. After all, readers should not be expected to supply or mentally
fill in missing words.
Conciseness means using the fewest words to say what you need to accurately and
completely Weighing the need for conciseness against similar concerns for completeness
and politeness is important once you pass the drat phase, where wordiness is understandable.
Knowing what you can eliminate without sacrificing your intended meaning
or ignoring your readers' needs is key to answering the triple demands of conciseness,
completeness, and politeness.
Wordy: Please note that you are requested to read and offer your
comments on the attached file.
Terse: Read this. Get back to mne.
Concise and polite: Please review and comment on the attached file.
Politeness strategies sometimes work at cross-purposes to editing techniques, but it is
still relatively easy to write concise messages that have the right level of courtesy. Editing
documents for conciseness is really a torm of precision revision. You can start by easily
eliminating anything that does not add meaning to your message: long lead-ins, noun
conversions, padded and redundant expressions, needless relative pronouns, and excess
modifiers. Getting rid of sentence padding and achieving conciseness requires only a little
extra time, so avoid falling into the same trap as French mathematician Blaise Pascal, who
once admitted to a friend, "I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to
make it short." Here are nine ways to keep your messages
concise:
- Eliminate long lead-ins. Baseball pitchers warm up in the bullpen before they head
to the mound. Many writers prefer to "limber up" in the same way by starting their
sentences with an introductory phrase or two betore they get to the point. While
softening a message in this way is a common politeness strategy, lead-ins are mostly
unnecessary
because they add nothing to a sentence except for information that is
already obvious (e.g., This message is to infrm you that. . ). Readers in a hurry want
information conveyed to them as directly as possible. Unless extreme politeness is
required, delete any opening phrases ending in that or because. In brief messages
such as routine e-mail, make sure you get to the point before a count of three.
Wordy: l am writing to inform you that parking lot C will be closed for maintenance
Monday, September 30.
Concise: Parking lot C will be closed for maintenance Monday, September 30.
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2. Revise noun conversions. Each type of word has a ditterent purpose. Verbs are
"doing" words that convey actions, conditions, and states ot being. Nouns name
people, places, things, and abstract concepts. When verbs are converted into nouns,
often with the addition of a -tion or -ment ending, they lose their power and agency
like an engine running on empty, and in turn require weak supporting verbs to
convey their actions fully All the attention is then focused on the converted noun
words such as establishment, approval, decision-instead of on the primary action of
the sentence, which is hidden in the long noun phrase. As you review the chart below,
note how affected and formal noun conversion phrases sound when compared with
the verbs from which they are derived:
| Noun Conversion Phrase Verb reach a conclusion conclude make the assumption assume make a decision decide conduct an investigation investigate engage in consultation with consult give consideration to consider give authorization for authorize |
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Noun conversions (or nominalizations, as they are sometimes known) may souna
impressive and can even slow down the pace of your writing, but they will also make
your writing weak and wordy, so it is best to avoid using them.
Wordy: CanPac undertook a revision of its full-year earnings forecast.
Concise: CanPac revised its full-year earnings forecast.
Wordy: Leading economists made a prediction of a stronger Canadian dollar.
Concise: Leading economists predicted a stronger Canadian dollar.
Wordy: City council brought about an amendment to the bylaw. Concise: City council amended the bylaw.
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3. Eliminate redundancies. Redundancies are unplanned repetitions--word pairs that express the same meaning twice. Avoid the following "doubled-up" expressions by eliminating the italicized word:
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repetitions. absolutely essential enter into past experience |
4. Eliminate or revise empty words and phrases. Rid your sentences of imprecise, inexact language. Clear away the deadwood-words that lack meaning--and trim padded expressions.
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Replace With am of the opinion that believe as a matter of fact later at this point in time now, currently, at present by an act of coincidence |
Articles such as the, a, and an are sometimes overapplied. Omit the before plural
nouns expressing generalizations.
Unnecessary Article: The human resources specialists review the applications.
Articles Omitted: Human resources specialists review applications.
Se strong, precise, accurate verbs. Opt for clear, precise, nstructive verbs tar
than extended verb phrases.
Wordy: The learning centre placed an order for materials for the courses.
Elminate the need for intensifiers and quaifiers-words such as really, extremel
ncredibly, definitely, rather-by finding a verb that is an exact tit for the meaning ve
wish to deliver.
Concise: The learning centre ordered course materials.
mely,
you
Wordy: We were really incredibly thrilled to hear of the partnership.
Concise: We were delighted to hear of the partnership.
Avoid poorly defined, ambiguous verbs whose meanings are open to interpretation
Substitute strong verbs for -sion and -tion words.
Weak Verb: Buying market share in foreign markets affected profits.
affected how?)
Precise: Buying market share in foreign markets increased profits by
10 per cent.
Replace weak verbs, such as have and be (am, is, are, was, were) when they occur
alone, with strong ones.
Weak Verb: The CEO is of the opinion that the company will survive the current erisis that has to do with dot-com instability.
Precise: The CEO believes the company will survive the current crisis caused by dot-com instability.
Weak Verb: It is necessary for him to complete the application.
Precise: He needs to (or must) complete the application. Replace could/would/should with strong verbs when action you do not need to show that an is conditional.
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Weak Verb: In her previous job, she would write to charitable foundations.
Precise: In her previous job, she wrote to charitable foundations.
As much as possible, write in the active voice (as opposed to the passive voice, Chapter 4), which se is usually the most concise way to convey an action.
Passive Voice: The script of the speech should be edited and double-spaced.
Active Voice: Edit and double space the script of the speech.
6. Revise prepositional phrases. Prepositions-common words such as in, to, at, oJ
after, with, between-combine wth other words to form prepositional phrases
These modifying phrases show relationships in time and space, indiccating how, when, where or how long something happens. The wordiness of some prepositional phrases can make sentences sound awkwardand overwritten. The phrase can usually be replaced with a single-word modifier.
Wordy: An error in computation was discovered in the report from last spring.
Concise: A computational error was discovered in last spring's report
Prepositions are useful in breaking up long chains of nouns used as adjectives. They
clarity relationships so readers can tell which nouns are modifiers and which nouns
are being modified.
growth management executive training growth management training for executives petroleum diesel replacement fuel-> replacement fuel for petroleum diesel climate change mitigation technologies -> technologies to mitigate climate change
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7. Eliminate fillers. Avoid beginning sentences with empty filler words such as there is/
are and it is/was (when it has not been defined) that force readers to wait for the sub
ject that the entire sentence hinges on. Expletive constructions, as they are called,
act as a common delaying tactic that makes sense only when extreme politeness or
emphasis is called for. Otherwise, delete the expletive and craft a straightforward sen-
tence that begins with the subject, followed closely by verb and object.
Wordy: There are three bids that the board is considering.
Concise: The board is considering three bids
Wordy: Itis paying down debt that is our priority.
Concise: Paying down debt is our priority.
8. Shorten multiple that/which/who clauses. Used to excess, clauses introduced by
that, which, and who create a clumsy stop-and-go sentence ilow. In most cases, you
can drop that, which, or who as well as the verb that immediately follows it. Sometimes
an entire clause can be reduced to a single word by making this simple change.
Wordy: His company, which is reputed to be a leader in employee satisfaction,
hosts regular events for employees who have retired.
Concise: His company, a reputed leader in employee satisfaction, hosts regular
events for retirees.
Wordy: We offer prices that are competitive.
Concise: We offer competitive prices.
9. Combine shorter sentences, reduce clauses and phrases. Use pronouns (that,
which, who, as well as personal pronouns) to combine shorter related sentences and
eliminate monotonous repetition. Reduce sentences to clauses, clauses to phrases,
and phrases to single words.
Wordy: She is a sales representative. She specializes in com mercial real estate.
Concise: She is a sales representative who specializes in commercial real estate.
(second sentence reduced to a clause)
Concise: She is a sales representative specializing in commercial real estate
(second sentence reduced to a phrase)
Concise: She is a commercial real estate sales specialist.
(second sentence reduced to descriptive words)
| Checklist: Conciseness Have you used as few words as possible to make your point?Have you eliminated long lead-ins and sentence fillers?Have you replaced noun conversions (and-ize words) with strong verbs? Have you eliminated redundancies, empty words, and empty phrasesHave yu replaced prepositional phrases with single-word modifiers? Have you shortened clumsy that/which/who clauses and combined short, related sentences? |
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Tone
ers irame of mind, inklings of demand or respect, arrogance or modesty, or concern. This inditterence or impression is a product of tone. Tone refers to the mood of a implied attitude of the writer message-the to the subject and readers. In the absence of vocal inflection and visual cues such as body language, tone in written communication creates an impres- sion based purely on the words that are used and the length and structure of writer happens to choose. sentences the
The tone of a message should support its content and remain beginning fairly consistent from to end. A wide range oi tone is possible in workplace communication, meaning that a casual tone appropriate tor an e-mail message to an associate will be unacceptable in a formal report, which denmands a more serious and depends professional tone. Ultimately, much on the writing situation, purpose, and channel of communication. Once you have determined the tone you want to use, it should remain consistent throughout ment, mainly because erratic, a docu- Jekyll-and-Hyde" shifts in tone give mixed messages unsettle readers and leave them that contused about your attitude and intentions. Make sure the tone you establish supports your content and creates the right impression.
tone the implied attitude of the author to the reader, as
Word reflected by choice.
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TUNE IN TO WORD CONNOTATIONS
Words with similar or overlapping meanings, like the synonyms in a typical thesauru5 entry, rarely mean exactly the same thing. While a word's denotation-its literal, diction ary definition-is something it may share with many synonyms, its connotation-15 imnlied. associative meaning-is distinct in terms of the positive or negative emotional resDonse the word provokes. Ihe way a word atects the reader helps to differentiate pven subtly, from other words witn it, similar or overlapping meanings. Consider the con notation or emotional overtone ot each word in the following series:
Serie cheap/inexpensive/cost-effective/low priced/thrifty/economical
artificial/faux/synthetic/sham/take/man-made/imitation/mock flexible/changeable/fickle/adaptable/compliant/resilient
Implied meaning has the power to shape perceptions, which accounts for why a "pre-owned vehicle" may sound like a better investment than a "used" or "second-hand"
car, even though the products these terms label may be virtually the same. Tuning in to
the connotations of words can help you anticipate your readers reaction to the words you choose. The right words may not just be the ones with the more accurate denotations but
the ones with the most appropriate connotations.
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KEEP YOUR STYLE CONVERSATIONAL
Formality involves the observance of style rules and conventions. Levels of formality
depend mostly on word choice, sentence length, and sentence structure. Most business
writing, with the exception of formal reports, meets the needs of a wide audience with
a mid-level style that is fairly conversational and moderately informal. Writing conver
sationally is as easy as imagining yourself sitting across from your reader and expressing
yourself as you would in an ordinary face-to-face discussion or meeting. In writing your
message as you would say it, try to resist the temptation to be overly chatty or to repeat
yourself. The result should be unforced and natural, not stiff or stully. Naturalness, however,
should never be confused with sloppiness, so keep sentence length manageable, use
correct grammar, and edit to eliminate awkwardness. A written style that is too informal or
casual-with noticeable slang, colloquialisms, and grammar abuses-can give the impres
sion of carelessness and even suggest poor work habits. Wiriters have some freedom to
vary their level of formality from document to document, but a mid-level style is typical
of business letters, memos, informal reports, and most print journalism. Its elements are
summed up in the checklist below:
- even-handed, efficient, conversational tone
- mix of familiar words and business terms
- Correct grammar and standard punctuation
- manageable sentence structure (one to three clauses per sentence)
- single-word verbs and phrasal verbs (ook into instead of investigate; throw out
instead of discard) - occasional contractions ('m, she's, we're, it's, can't, isnt, whos)
- personal pronouns and limited forms of personal address
- slang, legalisms, long words, outdated language
Examples: lam pleased to submit the enclosed report.
Please have a look at the enclosed report.
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SELECT THE RIGHT LEVEL OF FORMALITY:
PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL STYLES
Within the acceptable range of business style, it is possible to be more or less formal and
more or less personal. A personal style puts you and/or your readers into your sentences
through the free use of first- and second-person pronouns (I, me, we, us, you). The impression
it gives is one of warmth, friendliness, and candour, helping to build rapport and
engage readers. Because facts are either delivered from the writers perspective or targeted
Specitically at readers, this style sometimes seems biased or slanted, even when it is not.
Personal style is characterized by the following elements:
- short sentencesS
- personal pronouns
- First names and personal references
- active voice used throughout
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An impersonal style uses only third-person pronouns (he, she, it, one, they). It sounds
detached yet objective, emphasizing facts and concepts rather than the writers perspective.
For this reason, impersonal style is commonly used for announcements and policy
statements. Warmth gives way to efficiency, but the result is not necessarily stuffy or pretentious.
Impersonal style is characterized by the following elements:
- a mix of sentence lengths, including long sentences
- no personal pronouns
- no first names or personal references
- legitimate use of the passive voice
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Personal Style Impersonal Style
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BE POSITIVE
Is the glass half empty or half full? The answer to this question separates the optimists
from the pessimists. Readers usually like to think of their glasses as half full, which means
they are more receptive to good news or neutral news that is free of negativity. Although
you should never knowingly distort facts or ideas just for the sake of putting a positive spin on them, it is worth remembering that positive wording makes messages readerfriendly
and inviting. Unles you are issuing a warning meant to stop or deter certain
actions, it is useful to emphasize what the reader can do instead of what the reader can't.
Negative attitude: You cannot use Verified by Visa until you have been issued a
password.
Positive attitude: You may begin using Verified by Visa once you receive password.
Avoid negative wording for positive or neutral ideas:
Negative wording: You will never be sorry you purchased a three-year extended warranty.
Positive wording: Your three-year extended warranty covers all parts and on-site repairs.
Weigh the impact of blatant or hidden negatives such as regret, mistake, oversight, overlook, rnegligence, neglect, unable, unfortunately, allege, careless, reject, deny, and fail(ure) before
you use them. Used the wrong way, these can be harsh, inflexible words that antagonize
readers by painting them as adversaries or inferiors.
- By failing to park in your assigned space, you caused our visitors a terrible
inconvenience. - Parking spaces adjacent to the entrance are reserved for visitors.
Rely on the subordinating power of grammatical structures such as dependent clauses and
the passive voice (see Chapter 4) to reduce negativity and depersonalize unfavourable facts.
Negative: We cannot extend credit to you at this time.
Less negative: Although credit cannot be extended to you at this time, we look forward
to serving you on a cash basis.
STRESS READER BENEFITS AND RELEVANCE
Occasionally, everyone reads a message only to ask, What does this have to do with me?
Relevant, reader-tocused messages never provoke this reaction. Instead readers can easily
see how information concerns them or how they stand to benefit.
When readers feel that their opinions matter and have been taken into consideration,
they are more likely to follow instructions and comply with requests. To write in a readerfocused
style, edit your messages with the following suggestions in mind:
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1. Present meaningful content. Avoid sending trivial or unnecessary messa
ges, as they might cause your reader to overlook the seriousness of future, more
important messages.
2. Develop a positive you-attitude. Make the readers part of your message by presenting
your information from their point of view rather than your owm whenever possible.
An exclusively writer-centred approach can sound egotistical, but it is possible to
inject you-attitude into your messages by switching trom tirst-person pronouns (, me,
my, we, us, our) to more inviting second-person pronouns (you, your, yourself).
Writer-centred: lam hosting a private reception at the Royal York Hotel on
December 15 and am inviting all senior managers to attend.
Reader-focused: As a senior manager, you are cordially invited to a private
reception at the Royal York Hotel on December 15.
Writer-centred: We offer our repeat customers substantial discounts.
Reader-focused: As a repeat customer, you will enjoy substantial discounts.
A sincere you-attitude is one that doesn't overuse second-person pronouns to the
point where readers feel uncomfortable or manipulated. Do not use the you-attitude
negatively, as readers could feel singled out, criticized, or accused:
Negative you-attitude: Your failure to observe safety guidelines will result in a
mechanical shutdown.
Neutral attitude: The machine automatically shuts down whenever a safety
infraction occurs.
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A good way to involve readers is by using a compliance-boosting we-attitudea common
feature of managerial communications-that breaks down authority and unites
WTiter and reader in common "we're-all-in-this-together" values, goals, and initiatives.
3. Emphasize benefts to readers. Put yourself in your readers' place. Appeal to readers
and their interests by indicating what they stand to gain. This may be all the incentive
or motivation necessary to encourage a favourable, action-oriented response. This
technique is especially well suited to service-oriented messages.
Writer-centred: We ask that all customers complete the enclosed questionnaire
by April 30 so that we may assess the effectiveness of our
technical support services.
Reader-focused: To ensure you receive the highest standard of technical support
please assist us by completing the encdosed quality-control
questionnaire.
BE POLITE
A little common courtesy can make readers feel uncommonly good. Politeness creates a
humane environment of mutual respect and consideration where work gets done more
easily. Rudeness, pushiness, sarcasm, and abruptness-whether actual or alienate readers. perceived-can Being courteous involves more than just adding a simple please or thank
you to brief or routine messages: courtesy is a mindset with zero tolerance for sarcasm, condescension, presumptuousness, or anger. Emotional language can provoke hostile reactions, so avoid phrases of demand or advisement that belittle or talk down to readers.
Rude: Obviously, if you had the slightest idea of our policies you would have known that unless you wantto be fired, you should never use company-issued cellphones for personal calls.
Polite: Please reserve your company-issued cellphone for business calls so that
customers and associates may contact you without delay.
Extreme politeness, on the other hand, can be mistaken for coldness or insincerity. It can also undermine your assertiveness or authority, especially if you suppress or censor what you need to say for fear of sounding impolite. Do your best to strive for a courteous tone that sounds natural, friendly, and unforced.
Too Polite: Kindly be advised that, if even the smallest question arises, we will be only too happy to help.
Polite: Please contact us if you have any questions or concerns.
USE INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE
No one likes being unfairly singled out on the basis ot sex, ethnicity, age, disability, or group membership--but this is exactiy Wnat nappens in cases of discrimination, Not only unacceptable but also against the law, disCrimination involves the making of unjust and nreiudicial distinctions about individuals. The Canadian Human Rights Commission (CHRC) defines discriminatory treatment on 1l prohibited grounds: age, sex (including
pregnancy and childbirth), sexual orientation, religion, race, colour, national or ethnic
origin, marital status, family status, physical or mental disability (including past/present
alcohol dependence), and pardoned criminal conviction. Discriminatory and genderbiased
language, even when it is unintentional, demeans and offends readers, leaving them
hurt and unreceptive. Such language is actionable, opening the way for harassment suits
and legal proceedings. Using inclusive, bias-free language that treats all groups equally
and fairly shows sensitivity, consideration, and respect, all of which build goodwill and
better business relations.
- Don't make discriminatory comments. Avoid prohibited references when writing
about groups and individuals. Such information, even when it is offered in a positive
spirit, is irrelevant and can contribute to negative stereotypes.
- ☒ Hassan, who fasts throughout the day during this month's observance of
Ramadan, will nevertheless be available to answer your questions. - ☑ Hassan will be available to answer your questions.
- ☒ Please contact Piotr, who has a nice Polish accent but speaks English well.
- ☑ Please contact Piotr, our director of marketing services.
2. Use only gender-neutral job titles and salutations. Substitute correct and neutral
job titles-ones that do not suggest that only men or only women can hold a particular
job-for traditional, gender-specific ones:
| Gender-Biased Gender-Neutral salesperson, sales representative spokesperson, company representative salesman spokesman businessman business person chairman chair, chairperson workman worker man-hours working hours female manager, male nurse manager, nurse man and wife husband and wife, spouses deliveryman COurier |
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Sexist salutations such as Dear Sirs and Gentlemen are likewise considered outdated
because they exclude a female audience. Revise any sentences containing sexist terms
and automatic gender assumptions about jobs:
- Account managers are invited to bring their wives spouses/partners.
- The
girts in bookkeepingbookkeepers will correct the error in your account. or
Aruna Sharma and Joyce Fitzgerald in bookkeeping will correct the error in your
account. (Whenever possible, refer to men and women by their specific
names.) - Each
secretaryreportstoher stpervisot: Secretaries report to their supervisors.
3. Use Masculine Pronouns Reasonably. Avoid using masculine pronouns (he, his, him,
himself) to refer to groups or individuals of unknown gender. The old grammatical
rule of "common gender"-with its blanket use ot masculine pronouns to refer to
men as well as women-no longer applies and now comes across as sexist, Consider
the exclusionary nature of the following sentence, in which all executives are assumed
to be male: Each executive has his own parking space. There are several ways to make
your writing gender-neutral when it comes to pronoun use:
☑ Replace the offending pronoun with an indefinite article (a, an): Every
executive has a parking space.
☑ Recast the sentence, making the singular pronoun plural: All executives have
their own parking spaces.
☑ Use both mas culine and feminine pronouns when they do not recur
throughout the sentence: Every executive has his or her own parking space. Multiple
pronoun pairs can be awkward and im practical when revised this way.
☑ Choose plural pronouns: They and their are non-standard replacements for
he and his-common in spoken English and increasingly acceptable in written
English but still not necessarily the best choice, especially in formal documents:
Every lawyer has their own parking space.
WRITE WITH CONFIDENCE
A contident tone encourages readers to accept your decisions and opinions rather than
question them. When you need to express yourself firmly and decisively, apply the following
strategies:
1. Use definite, forward-looking language. Give priority to strong, deliberate verbs,
precise nouns, and vivid adjectives.
☒ Although I might not have as much experience as the other applicants, I did take
a few courses in risk management while trying to complete the requirements of
my MBA.
☑Two courses in risk management for my recently completed MBA allow me to contribute to degree will your mutual funds division.
Use helping verbs of qualification, such as seems, could, might, and may, only when you need to express conjecture, doubt, or uncertainty
2. Don't make unnecessary apologies. Apologies weaken your perceived authority, especially if you find yourself apologizing tor routine requests you must make to do your job effectively. Understand when apologies are needed (i.e., when something has gone wrong) and when they are not.
☒ l am so sorry to have to askyou to contirm the time and location of our next meeting.
☑ Please confirm the time and location of our next meeting.
3. Use strong, assertive phrasing rather than "weasel words," Deferential and well- intentioned phrases such as I hope and I trust can sometimes sound weak and tenta- tive. With overuse, phrases such as pernaps y you have time, maybe if it's not too much trouble, if you could possibly, or Jna t assertiveness from propabie that can slowly drain the power and your writing. Other hedging ords to watch for and use selectively include tend, in some ways, perhaps, seems, seemingly, possibly.
4. Be knowledgeable and informative. Know your subject well enough to make it
intelligible to the reader. A command of the facts is a natural credibility booster. Wel1
presented data and meaningful information help reduce readers' uncertainty and
allow them to take action and make sound decisions.
5. Guard against overconfidence. Too much confidence can make you sound egotistical.
Try not to cross the line between firmness and blatant arrogance. Remember that
boasting not only affects credibility but also turns readers off.
Boastful: You will undoubtedly agree that my marketing genius makes me more
than qualified for the job.
Confident: My experience in marketing and additional background in public
relations have prepared me for this challenging position.
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Select the right level of formality. Decide how formal or personal you want to be and Stress reader benefits and relevance. Cultivate a sincere you-attitude and interpret |
| [Flag Needed] Use plain, precise, and current language to make your message clear and meaningful to your reader. Be ethical and purposeful in your choice of words to reflect good public relations for your company and good human relations with colleagues.Be brief and use as few words as possible to express your thoughts and pass on information. Use a personal or inmpersonal style that's appropriate to the type of message you write. Make your messages constructive, relevant, reader-focused, and inclusive. Adopt a tone that's conversational, confident, and courteous |
