3.6 Internal Email Direct Approach Editing Practice
In 3.3, you reviewed a scenario to develop an audience profile for an email about Learn Canada Vacations’ planned event. Using your audience profile, revise the poorly written message below to improve the format, organization, tone, and grammar.
Exercises
Activity: Revise the internal email.
__________________________________________________________________
To: Peter Damask <pd@gocanada.ca> and 15 others
From: MANAGER <Sharon shave@gocanada.ca>
Date: May 15, 2022
Subject: Information regarding the Westin Hotel, Ottawa
__________________________________________________________________
Hi Everyone!
This a fantastic opportunity! For us to become educated on popular newfounland and Labrador destinations, attractions, and the Culture since many of our clients are become interested in going there. It is a terrific opportunity for us to network with destination representatives and travel counsellors from Labrabor. We can becoming more like familiar with the types and diffrent products offered to clients. The event will take place on July 7th at Lobby A of Westin Hotel, Ottawa. Us and the New & Labrador tourist Bureau be hosting it. There will be cocktails at 6 p.m. Then a for-course east coast -style meal at 7 p.m. Then a presentation to be delivered after dinner. The dinner’s free cuz its covered by the Newfoundland and Labrador Tourist Bureau, so it’s a staff-only event however it is important to R.S.V.P to Ian McCarthy at imccarth@nfldltouristbureau.ca by 23rd of June for to plan meal and seating arrangements. And fabulous door prizes including an all-inclusive week in St.John’s will be given out at the end of the evening!
Best Regards,
Your MANAGER
Sharon Haverham shave@gocanada.ca