3.4 Steps for Writing Effective Direct Approach Internal Emails
Effective Internal Emails
An effective internal email (a memo before digitalization) is clear, concise, courteous, and reader-focused.
Conducting an Audience Analysis and the Direct Approach
Before you begin writing your message, think about your audience. If an audience analysis reveals that the reader(s) expects to receive such information from you, or will respond favorably or neutrally to your message, use the direct approach.
Direct Approach
When using the direct approach, a writer places the main point at the beginning of the message. This placement ensures that the writer’s purpose is clear and the reader quickly understands the point of the message.
The writer then places the reasons for the message and any details the reader might need to understand and/or act on the message in the next sections.
Finally, the writer closes pleasantly and if necessary calls for an action. More specifically, the writer includes contact information and may restate the purpose or tell the reader what happens next.
| Opening/Main Idea | Introduce your major point, your question, or your request. Doing this will effectively provide your reason for writing. |
|---|---|
| Body/Details | This section will be the longest part of your message. Provide details to help the reader understand and/or act on your information, request, or question. Use white space, bulleted or numbered lists, and headings to make your message easily readable. |
| Close | End on a friendly, positive note. Restate your point or motivate action if required. |
Setting up your email account
Since email is widely used in professional correspondence, create a professional e-mail account.
On your account, insert a signature that includes the following: your full name, job title, company name, phone number and email address.
Susan Taylor
(She/her pronouns)
Department of English
University of Victoria
Tel: 504-123-4000 ext. 123
Email: staylor12@uvictoria.ca
Web: http://www.uvictoria.ca
Writing the subject line in emails
Use subject lines for both internal and external communications. When people open their emails, the first item they see is the subject line. Therefore, be sure to create effective subject lines. If you don’t include a subject line, your reader may not open your email or may open it at a much later time.
Exercises
Activity
Determine if the subject lines below are effective or vague.
- About your Question
- Answer to Benefits Package Questions
- Dress Code
- Update on Dress Code
- Mexican Night
- Invitation to Mexican Promotion Event
- Recycling is Important
- Instructions for Recycling
Using salutations and sign-offs in emails
Most writers include salutations and closes in both internal and external communications. The degree of formality is, however, different.
Examples of Salutations and Closes
| Salutation | Internal Salutation | Hi, Hello, Good morning, Good afternoon |
|---|---|---|
| External Salutation | Dear Ms. Fong, Dear Mr. Smith | |
| Sign-off | Internal Sign off | Best, Cheers, Regards, With kind regards, Thanks, Thank you |
| External Sign off | Regards, With kind regards, Sincerely, Yours, Thank you |
For more details on salutations and sign-offs, see
- How to Start an Email: 6 Never-Fail Introductions and 6 to Avoid (https://www.grammarly.com/blog/how-to-start-an-email/)
- Professional Email Salutations: Tips and Examples (https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/professional-email-salutations)
- How to End an Email: 9 Best and Worst Email Sign-offs (https://www.grammarly.com/blog/how-to-end-an-email/)
- How to End an Email with Examples (https://www.thebalancecareers.com/email-message-closing-examples-2061895)
- How to End an Email: 39 Examples of Email Closings (https://autoklose.com/how-to-end-an-email/)
Writing the first sentence in an email
Begin your internal email with a direct, audience-focused statement or question.
Examples of Opening Sentences
To do your part in keeping our office tidy, please review the procedures outlined below.
Can you provide me with an update on this month’s sales figures?
Last Tuesday, we spoke about implementing a dress code. Below are some suggestions.
Some writers begin internal and external emails with phrases such as “I hope you are having a good day” or “I hope you are keeping well”. If you work in a culture where such “small talk” is expected, then include such phrases. Otherwise, they can be eliminated.
Avoid beginning with “My name is Susan Taylor and I am writing to you”. Your name and your position within the organization are detailed in your email signature. Use this self-introduction only if you are writing to someone who may be surprised to be receiving an email from you.
Writing reader-focused sentences
Speaking directly to the reader helps to establish an appropriate tone and build rapport in your writing. Reader-focused writing emphasizes the reader’s experience while reading your writing.
Exercises
Compare the Writer-focused and Reader-focused sentences in the table below. What features make the sentence writer-focused? How were the writer-focused sentences revised to be reader-focused? What tone or impression do you have when you read each type of sentence?
| Writer-focused | Reader-focused |
|---|---|
| I’m writing to ask you if you could send me last quarter’s financial statement. I need them for my report. | Please send me last quarter’s financial statement so that I can include the numbers in our department’s report. |
| I can help you with any adjustments you may need to make to our webpage. | If you need to make adjustments to our webpage, I can help you. |
| I am delighted to inform you that your vacation request as been approved. | You’ll be glad to hear that your vacation request has been approved. |
Using highlighting techniques to enhance readability
Below are some techniques that highlight key information to improve readability.
Examples of Various Highlighting Techniques
| White Space | List | Instructions
Chronological |
Headings
Compare/Contrast |
|---|---|---|---|
| Date: June 24, 2020
Time: 12 p.m. – 6 p.m. Venue: Hyatt Downtown Toronto |
Repacking our products will
|
|
Strengths of new packaging materials
Weakness of new packaging materials |
Writing the Close
For the closing section, two options are available: end with a goodwill statement or make a call to action.
Examples of Closing Sentences
| Close to restate and promote goodwill | Close for call to action and to promote goodwill |
|---|---|
| The suggestions listed above will help ensure that we are all protected against cyber security breaches. | Please complete and submit your forms to John Barbuzzi by August 25. |
| Thanks for your feedback. I agree that your proposed changes can be implemented with minimal disruption. | Please pick up your new parking passes at the front desk. |
| Thank you again for your insightful presentation on corporate sustainability. | The evening promises to be pleasant and productive, so I look forward to seeing you there. |