3.12 Indirect Approach: Bad News Internal Email
Poorly Written Bad News Email
Examine and identify the weaknesses in the poorly written email below.
Exercise
Sent: April 18, 2022 2:30 PM
To: Penny Smith <ps@dmb.ca>
Subject: Conference Request Denied
___________________________________________________________________
Hello Penny,
I regret to inform you that your request for travel funds to travel to the Cyber Security Strategies conference has been denied. We earmarked $400,000 for employee development initiatives available for this year and although I know you really want to go, I can’t afford to give you the $4,000 you requested (which by the way is a lot to request at this late date at the current time of this request).
I hope you understand our position because we really want our employees to receive training to be happy. Even though I can’t pay for this trip, I encourage you to apply again for future conference money because I hope to receive more money budgeted for employee training the next fiscal year of 2023/2024.
Thank you again for your request. I always strive to help fund employee requests.
Best,
Joan
Joan Argue
HR Specialist
Devon Mortgage Broker
416 555-5555
ja@dmb.ca
Well Written Bad News Email
Examine the revised email and note the strategies used to improve it.
Example of Effective Bad News Email
Sent: April 18, 2022 2:30 PM
To: Penny Smith <ps@dmb.ca>
Subject: Reply to Conference Request
___________________________________________________________________
Hello Penny,
Thank you for your interest in emerging cyber security protection strategies. It is, indeed, an area that we are committed to enhancing. The conference on Cyber Security Strategies in Vancouver, British Columbia in May that you would like to attend is a valuable one.
DMB is committed to sponsoring employee development. In fact, this year we earmarked $400,000 for employee development initiatives. Since several requests have already been approved, the budget is diminishing. Therefore, your request that involves airfare and accommodation cannot be approved.
If you find similar conferences in the GTA, please contact me to discuss the possibility of attending them. Your commitment to cyber security is appreciated.
Kind regards,
Joan
Joan Argue
HR Specialist
Devon Mortgage Broker
416 555-5555
ja@dmb.ca
