3.5 – Revising and Editing
Learning Objectives
- Identify major areas of concern in the draft essay during revising and editing.
- Use peer reviews and editing checklists to assist revising and editing.
- Revise and edit the first draft of your essay and produce a final draft.
Revising and editing are the two tasks you undertake to significantly improve your essay. Both are very important elements of the writing process. You may think that a completed first draft means little improvement is needed. However, even experienced writers need to improve their drafts and rely on peers during revising and editing.
Understanding the Purpose of Revising and Editing
Revising and editing allow you to examine two important aspects of your writing separately, so that you can give each task your undivided attention.
- When you revise , you take a second look at your ideas. You might add, cut, move, or change information in order to make your ideas clearer, more accurate, more interesting, or more convincing.
- When you edit , you take a second look at how you expressed your ideas. You add or change words. You fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. You improve your writing style. You make your essay into a polished, mature piece of writing, the end product of your best efforts.
Tip
How do you get the best out of your revisions and editing? Here are some strategies that writers have developed to look at their first drafts from a fresh perspective. Try them over the course of this semester; then keep using the ones that bring results.
- Take a break. You are proud of what you wrote, but you might be too close to it to make changes. Set aside your writing for a few hours or even a day until you can look at it objectively.
- Ask someone you trust for feedback and constructive criticism.
- Pretend you are one of your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Why?
- Use the resources that your college provides. Find out where your school’s writing lab is located and ask about the assistance they provide online and in person.
Many people hear the words critic, critical, and criticism and pick up only negative vibes that provoke feelings that make them blush, grumble, or shout. However, as a writer and a thinker, you need to learn to be critical of yourself in a positive way and have high expectations for your work. You also need to train your eye and trust your ability to fix what needs fixing. For this, you need to teach yourself where to look.
Creating Unity and Coherence
Following your outline closely offers you a reasonable guarantee that your writing will stay on purpose and not drift away from the controlling idea. However, when writers are rushed, are tired, or cannot find the right words, their writing may become less than they want it to be. Their writing may no longer be clear and concise, and they may be adding information that is not needed to develop the main idea.
When a piece of writing has unity, all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense. When the writing has coherence, the ideas flow smoothly. The wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph.
Tip
Reading your writing aloud will often help you find problems with unity and coherence. Listen for the clarity and flow of your ideas. Identify places where you find yourself confused, and write a note to yourself about possible fixes.
Creating Unity
Sometimes writers get caught up in the moment and cannot resist a good digression. Even though you might enjoy such detours when you chat with friends, unplanned digressions usually harm a piece of writing.
Mariah stayed close to her outline when she drafted the three body paragraphs of her essay she tentatively titled “Digital Technology: The Newest and the Best at What Price?” But a recent shopping trip for an HDTV upset her enough that she digressed from the main topic of her third paragraph and included comments about the sales staff at the electronics store she visited. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off-topic sentences that affected the unity of the paragraph.
Read the following paragraph twice, the first time without Mariah’s changes, and the second time with them.
Mariah’s paragraph on televisions
Reference
Hall, P. (2022, March 30). How to choose the right TV. Wired. https://www.wired.com/story/how-to-buy-the-right-tv/
Mariah’s paragraph with changes
Reference
Hall, P. (2022, March 30). How to choose the right TV. Wired. https://www.wired.com/story/how-to-buy-the-right-tv/
Summary of edits:
- Removed 3rd, 4th, 9th, & 12th sentence
- Replace the word “other” with “another” from the 11th sentence, and remove “let someone talk you into”, change buying to buy in the last sentence
Exercise 1
- Start to revise the first draft of the essay you wrote in Section 3.3 “Writing Your Own First Draft”. Reread it to find any statements that affect the unity of your writing. Decide how best to revise.
Tip
When you reread your writing to find revisions to make, look for each type of problem in a separate sweep. Read it straight through once to locate any problems with unity. Read it straight through a second time to find problems with coherence. You may follow this same practice during many stages of the writing process.
Creating Coherence
Careful writers use transitions to clarify how the ideas in their sentences and paragraphs are related. These words and phrases help the writing flow smoothly. Adding transitions is not the only way to improve coherence, but they are often useful and give a mature feel to your essays.
| Type of transition | Common words and phrases |
|---|---|
| Transitions That Show Sequence or Time | after, afterward, as soon as, at first, at last, before, before long, finally, first, second, third, in the first place, later, meanwhile, next, soon, then |
| Transitions That Show Position | above, at the top, beside, near, to the left, to the right, to the side, across, behind, beyond, next to, under, at the bottom, below, inside, opposite, where |
| Transitions That Show a Conclusion | indeed, hence, in conclusion, in the final analysis, therefore, thus |
| Transitions That Continue a Line of Thought | consequently, because, in addition, looking further, furthermore, besides the fact, in the same way, considering… it is clear that, additionally, following this idea further, moreover |
| Transitions that Change a Line of Thought | but, yet, however, nevertheless, on the contrary, on the other hand |
| Transitions that Show Importance | above all, in fact, most, best, more important, worst, especially, most important |
| Transitions That Introduce the Final Thoughts in a Paragraph or Essay | finally, most of all, last, least of all, in conclusion, last of all |
| All-Purpose Transitions to Open Paragraphs or to Connect Ideas Inside Paragraphs | admittedly, at this point, certainly, granted, it is true, generally speaking, in general, in this situation, no doubt, no one denies, obviously, of course, to be sure, undoubtedly, unquestionably |
| Transitions that Introduce Examples | for instance, for example |
| Transitions That Clarify the Order of Events or Steps | first, second, third, generally, furthermore, finally, in the first place, also, last |
After Mariah revised for unity, she next examined her paragraph about televisions to check for coherence. She looked for places where she needed to add a transition or perhaps reword the text to make the flow of ideas clear. In the version that follows, she has already deleted the sentences that were off topic.
Tip
Many writers make their revisions on a printed copy and then transfer them to the version on-screen. They conventionally use a small arrow called a caret (^) to show where to insert an addition or correction.
Edits for coherence
Reference
Hall, P. (2022, March 30). How to choose the right TV. Wired. https://www.wired.com/story/how-to-buy-the-right-tv/
Summary of edits: Add “Finally” to opening sentence. Add to 3rd Sentence: “There’s good reason for this confusion” and “with all the options for features”. Insert 4th sentence: “The first big decision is the screen resolution you want.” Add “Also” to the 8th sentence. Edit 11th sentence to include “More decisions will be needed about” and changed second last sentence to “However, depending on your viewing habits, you may not even be able to see the more expensive upgrades. “
Unity and Coherence Exercise
Unity and Coherence (Text version)
- Coherence is created through effective use of (11 letters) .
-
The unity of a piece of writing is disrupted by a (10 letters) (series of unrelated details).
-
Two adjacent sentences that are not related to each other interrupt the piece’s (9 letters) .
-
An essay lacks unity if all the content doesn’t directly relate to the (6 letters) statement.
Check your Answers: [1]
Activity source: “Unity and Coherence” by Emily Cramer is licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0.
Being Clear and Concise
Some writers are very methodical and painstaking when they write a first draft. Other writers unleash a lot of words in order to get out all that they feel they need to say. Do either of these composing styles match your style? Or is your composing style somewhere in between? No matter which description best fits you, the first draft of almost every piece of writing, no matter its author, can be made clearer and more concise.
If you have a tendency to write too much, you will need to look for unnecessary words. If you have a tendency to be vague or imprecise in your wording, you will need to find specific words to replace any overly general language.
Identifying Wordiness
Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more to their audience and better fit their purpose. Here are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers, because it makes your ideas clear, direct, and straightforward.
- Sentences that begin with
There is
or
There areWordy: There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.
Revised: The Biology Department sponsors two major experiments.
- Sentences with unnecessary modifiers.
Wordy: Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favor of the proposed important legislation.
Revised: Two well-known consumer advocates spoke in favor of the proposed legislation.
- Sentences with deadwood phrases that add little to the meaning. Be judicious when you use phrases such as in terms of, with a mind to, on the subject of, as to whether or not, more or less, as far as…is concerned, and similar expressions. You can usually find a more straightforward way to state your point.
Wordy: As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy.
A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation.
Revised: As a world leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy.
A report about using geysers as an energy source is in preparation.
- Sentences in the passive voice or with forms of the verb to be. Sentences with passive-voice verbs often create confusion, because the subject of the sentence does not perform an action. Sentences are clearer when the subject of the sentence performs the action and is followed by a strong verb. Use strong active-voice verbs in place of forms of to be, which can lead to wordiness. Avoid passive voice when you can.
Wordy: It might perhaps be said that using a GPS device is something that is a benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
Revised: Using a GPS device benefits drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
- Sentences with constructions that can be shortened.
Wordy: The e-book reader, which is a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone.
My over-sixty uncle bought an e-book reader, and his wife bought an e-book reader, too.
Revised: The e-book reader, a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone.
My over-sixty uncle and his wife both bought e-book readers.
Exercise 2
Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words
Most college essays should be written in formal English suitable for an academic situation. Follow these principles to be sure that your word choice is appropriate. For more information about word choice, see Chapter 13 – “Working with Words: Which Word Is Right?”.
- Avoid slang. Find alternatives to bummer, cool, and rad.
- Avoid language that is overly casual. Write about “men and women” rather than “girls and guys” unless you are trying to create a specific effect. A formal tone calls for formal language.
- Avoid contractions. Use do not in place of don’t, I am in place of I’m, have not in place of haven’t, and so on. Contractions are considered casual speech.
- Avoid clichés. Overused expressions such as green with envy, face the music, better late than never, and similar expressions are empty of meaning and may not appeal to your audience.
- Be careful when you use words that sound alike but have different meanings. Some examples are allusion/illusion, complement/compliment, council/counsel, concurrent/consecutive, founder/flounder, and historic/historical. When in doubt, check a dictionary.
- Choose words with the connotations you want. Choosing a word for its connotations is as important in formal essay writing as it is in all kinds of writing. Compare the positive connotations of the word proud and the negative connotations of arrogant and conceited.
- Use specific words rather than overly general words. Find synonyms for thing, people, nice, good, bad, interesting, and other vague words. Or use specific details to make your exact meaning clear.
Now read the revisions Mariah made to make her third paragraph clearer and more concise. She has already incorporated the changes she made to improve unity and coherence.
Edits to make the paragraph more clear & concise
Revised paragraph after editing:
Finally, confuses buyers more than a new high-definition digital television (HDtelevision), and with good reason. The first big decision involves the screen resolution which means the number of horizontal scan lines the screen can show. Hall (2022) explains that “modern TVs come in 1080p “Full HD” (1,920 x 1,080-pixel resolution), 4K “UHD” (3,840 x 2,160), and 8K “8K UHD” (7,680 x 4,320) variants” (para. 8). While, technically, more pixels mean a clearer picture, in reality, viewers can’t tell the difference with the naked eye (Hall, 2022). Also, consumers should look for a TV with High Dynamic Range (HDR), which shows off more contrast and more lifelike colours (Hall, 2022), and consider the type of backlighting system, which shows contrasts between light and dark images and improve the overall appearance (Hall, 2022). More decisions will be needed about edgelighting, local dimming, and LED technology (Hall, 2022). However, individual viewing habits determine whether more expensive upgrades are beneficial. Only after buyers are totally certain they know what they want should they open their wallets.
Reference
Hall, P. (2022, March 30). How to choose the right TV. Wired. https://www.wired.com/story/how-to-buy-the-right-tv/
Completing a Peer Review
After working so closely with a piece of writing, writers often need to step back and ask for a more objective reader. What writers most need is feedback from readers who can respond only to the words on the page. When they are ready, writers show their drafts to someone they respect and who can give an honest response about its strengths and weaknesses.
You, too, can ask a peer to read your draft when it is ready. After evaluating the feedback and assessing what is most helpful, the reader’s feedback will help you when you revise your draft. This process is called peer review .
You can work with a partner in your class and identify specific ways to strengthen each other’s essays. Although you may be uncomfortable sharing your writing at first, remember that each writer is working toward the same goal: a final draft that fits the audience and the purpose. Maintaining a positive attitude when providing feedback will put you and your partner at ease. The box that follows provides a useful framework for the peer review session.
Questions for Peer Review
Title of essay:
Date:
Writer’s name:
Peer reviewer’s name:
- This essay is about:
- Your main points in this essay are:
- What I most liked about this essay is:
- These three points struck me as your strongest:
- Point:
Why: - Point:
Why: - Point:
Why:
- Point:
- These places in your essay are not clear to me:
- Where:
Needs improvement because: - Where:
Needs improvement because: - Where:
Needs improvement because
- Where:
- The one additional change you could make that would improve this essay significantly is:
Exercise 3
Using Feedback Objectively
The purpose of peer feedback is to receive constructive criticism of your essay. Your peer reviewer is your first real audience, and you have the opportunity to learn what confuses and delights a reader so that you can improve your work before sharing the final draft with a wider audience (or your intended audience).
It may not be necessary to incorporate every recommendation your peer reviewer makes. However, if you start to observe a pattern in the responses you receive from peer reviewers, you might want to take that feedback into consideration in future assignments. For example, if you read consistent comments about a need for more research, then you may want to consider including more research in future assignments.
Editing Your Draft
If you have been incorporating each set of revisions as Mariah has, you have produced multiple drafts of your writing. So far, all your changes have been content changes. Perhaps with the help of peer feedback, you have made sure that you sufficiently supported your ideas. You have checked for problems with unity and coherence. You have examined your essay for word choice, revising to cut unnecessary words and to replace weak wording with specific and appropriate wording.
The next step after revising the content is editing. When you edit, you examine the surface features of your text. You examine your spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation. You also make sure you use the proper format when creating your finished assignment.
Tip
Editing often takes time. Budgeting time into the writing process allows you to complete additional edits after revising. Editing and proofreading your writing helps you create a finished work that represents your best efforts. Here are a few more tips to remember about your readers:
- Readers do not notice correct spelling, but they do notice misspellings.
- Readers look past your sentences to get to your ideas—unless the sentences are awkward, poorly constructed, and frustrating to read.
- Readers notice when every sentence has the same rhythm as every other sentence, with no variety.
- Readers do not cheer when you use there, their, and they’re correctly, but they notice when you do not.
- Readers will notice the care with which you handled your assignment and your attention to detail in the delivery of an error-free document..
Chapters 11-15 of this book offer a useful review of grammar, mechanics, and usage. Use these chapters to help you eliminate major errors in your writing and refine your understanding of the conventions of language. Do not hesitate to ask for help, too, from peer tutors in your academic department or in the college’s writing lab. In the meantime, use the checklist to help you edit your writing.
Checklist – Editing Your Writing
Grammar
- Are some sentences actually sentence fragments?
- Are some sentences run-on sentences? How can I correct them?
- Do some sentences need conjunctions between independent clauses?
- Does every verb agree with its subject?
- Is every verb in the correct tense?
- Are tense forms, especially for irregular verbs, written correctly?
- Have I used subject, object, and possessive personal pronouns correctly?
- Have I used who and whom correctly?
- Is the antecedent of every pronoun clear?
- Do all personal pronouns agree with their antecedents?
- Have I used the correct comparative and superlative forms of adjectives and adverbs?
- Is it clear which word a participial phrase modifies, or is it a dangling modifier?
Sentence Structure
- Are all my sentences simple sentences, or do I vary my sentence structure?
- Have I chosen the best coordinating or subordinating conjunctions to join clauses?
- Have I created long, over packed sentences that should be shortened for clarity?
- Do I see any mistakes in parallel structure?
Punctuation
- Does every sentence end with the correct end punctuation?
- Can I justify the use of every exclamation point?
- Have I used apostrophes correctly to write all singular and plural possessive forms?
- Have I used quotation marks correctly?
Mechanics and Usage
- Can I find any spelling errors? How can I correct them?
- Have I used capital letters where they are needed?
- Have I written abbreviations, where allowed, correctly?
- Can I find any errors in the use of commonly confused words, such as to/too/two?
In-text citations & References
- Have I added an in-text citation whenever I quote, paraphrase and summarize someone else’s work?
- Does each in-text citation have a matching entry on my reference page?
- Have I used each source on my reference page within my paper?
- Have I checked the citation style and corrected any issues with my in-text citations and reference page entries?
- Have I verified that my whole essay is formatted according to APA style?
Tip
Be careful about relying too much on spelling checkers and grammar checkers. A spelling checker cannot recognize that you meant to write principle but wrote principal instead. A grammar checker often queries constructions that are perfectly correct. The program does not understand your meaning; it makes its check against a general set of formulas that might not apply in each instance. If you use a grammar checker, accept the suggestions that make sense, but consider why the suggestions came up.
Tip
Proofreading requires patience; it is very easy to read past a mistake. Set your paper aside for at least a few hours, if not a day or more, so your mind will rest. Some professional proofreaders read a text backward so they can concentrate on spelling and punctuation. Another helpful technique is to slowly read a paper aloud, paying attention to every word, letter, and punctuation mark.
If you need additional proofreading help, ask a reliable friend, a classmate, or a peer tutor to make a final pass on your paper to look for anything you missed.
Formatting
Remember to use proper format when creating your finished assignment. Sometimes an instructor, a department, or a college will require students to follow specific instructions on titles, margins, page numbers, or the location of the writer’s name. These requirements may be more detailed and rigid for research projects and term papers, which often observe the American Psychological Association (APA) or Modern Language Association (MLA) style guides, especially when citations of sources are included.
To ensure the format is correct and follows any specific instructions, make a final check before you submit an assignment.
Exercise 4
Key Takeaways
- Revising and editing are the stages of the writing process in which you improve your work before producing a final draft.
- During revising, you add, cut, move, or change information in order to improve content.
- During editing, you take a second look at the words and sentences you used to express your ideas and fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.
- Unity in writing means that all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong together and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense.
- Coherence in writing means that the writer’s wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and between paragraphs.
- Transitional words and phrases effectively make writing more coherent.
- Writing should be clear and concise, with no unnecessary words.
- Effective formal writing uses specific, appropriate words and avoids slang, contractions, clichés, and overly general words.
- Peer reviews, done properly, can give writers objective feedback about their writing. It is the writer’s responsibility to evaluate the results of peer reviews and incorporate only useful feedback.
- Remember to budget time for careful editing and proofreading. Use all available resources, including editing checklists, peer editing, and your institution’s writing lab, to improve your editing skills.
Attribution & References
Except where otherwise noted, this chapter (text & images) is adapted from “8.4 Revising and Editing” In Writing for Success by University of Minnesota licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0. Additional accessibility features have been added to original content.
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- transitions
- digression
- coherence
- thesis
