Firsthand accounts of autistic women’s experiences
Listening to Autistic Women's Voices
Sandra Law
Videos
Getting a Diagnosis
The children (e.g. girls) that present in a more anxious quiet kind of passive way are not getting the support they should be getting because they are not disrupting the school day. … That can lead to self-harm and depression and further anxiety so they should absolutely be getting that support and it should absolutely be as much of a priority as it is for the disruptive child.
Purple Ella (Jan 18, 2018)
… if you’re a girl with Asperger’s, things get even more tricky because all the diagnostic tools that professionals use were designed to spot Asperger’s in boys. Now this gender bias leaves thousands of Asperger girls undiagnosed, unsupported, sometimes even after they’ve taken the test. My younger brother was diagnosed as being on the spectrum when he was three and a half. His autism was obvious or stereotypical. He was late to talk, he bounced and flapped his hands, and he wouldn’t make eye contact. … within two months, he was diagnosed, and the proper supports were put in place to help him.
Fast forward eight years and he is doing just great. And then, there was me. I didn’t bounce. I didn’t flap. I was a shy but diligent student. I got good grades and I didn’t cause trouble. But what I did do was hide under the table and cover my ears at lunchtime because the noise of my chatting peers was too much for me to cope with. I was quiet, I let others make up the rules of the games we played, and I shared my sparkly pens when no one else would. And it took 14 years for anyone to notice that I was struggling, desperately. … by the time Asperger girls reach adolescence they are mentally exhausted and emotionally wrecked. … every conversation becomes like a math problem.
Niamh McCann Ted Talk (Oct 2018)
Dangers of Masking
Masking hides our true self. It hides our unique voice, and it replaces it with a more socially acceptable version of ourselves. Masking is exhausting, I am masking now, and I am masking all of the time when I am with people. I can’t switch it off … People are unaware they are teaching their children to mask, and they are unaware of how much damage it causes to our sense of identity. I learnt to mask my autism and my true self because I was taught to by my parents, and my teachers and my friends. … As I grew up into my teens, my early 20s, my autism fought back. It was tired of hiding and it was tired of being masked, so it showed itself in the only way it could. I developed an eating disorder, I began to self-harm and I tried to end my life repeatedly. … the misdiagnoses piled up because my doctors had no idea I was autistic because I had learnt to mask it so brilliantly. I was given psychiatric drugs that did not work, counseling and therapy that did not work. I was even given electric-shock therapy, which did not work.
Carrie Beckwith-Fellows (Jul 6, 2017)
Experiences in Postsecondary Education
University Orientations Customized for Autistic Students
Navigating Expectations of Women’s Behavior in Postsecondary Education
While navigating the educational system I face considerable pressure to mask or camouflage my autistic traits even at university. I must also contend with societal expectations of women to be seen as competent we are always expected to be seen as calm, emotionally stable and put together all the time. Ultimately this can be harmful because I am forced to mask my autistic traits in order to just be seen as competent and even just to be taken seriously … the anxiety from this constant masking just exacerbates all the stress brought on by sensory input and these social interactions.
Group Work
I hate it so much, because you get thrown in deep end with random people you don’t know, general feeling of anxiety.
… letting someone else run it … was my coping strategy … quite happy to stick to the shadows and do the work … looking back I should have tried to talk a bit more and do the work
First Job as Graduate
First full time job … tasks were easy … but the environment was impossible. Two weeks in I was completely drained of energy. Hopeless, confused, I thought the best part of my life was over. … I was coming home every single day and melting down or shutting down. I wondered if I had anxiety or depression. I had suicide check-ins with myself every few days. Every time I would say, no I don’t want to die, but I can’t figure out how to live. I was masking all the time.
Podcasts
Perceptions of Women of Color with Autism
So I’m not recognizing the differences in hierarchy and how they want to be acknowledged because I acknowledge everyone the same. And as a black female, a black person rather, it’s like you get looked at a little differently because of, you know, if I did something and I can’t I’m making this generalization but I think if we did the same thing in a different way just because I’m black it’s going to be taken differently. … So it’s more like I ignoring you, I’m being mean. I’m being disrespectful. … So you don’t have that same privilege to be disabled or to have no understanding of what someone means. You’re just being hard-headed or you’re you’re acting ignorant. So it’s, that’s the difficulty, you’re not afforded the same problems as someone whose not black, you has the same issue.
Catina Burkett Interview on Spectrumly Speaking (Nov 2020)
Tweets
Today is a big step in my journey growing up autistic. I HAVE A DEGREE!! From the girl in year 9 struggling in mainstream school to being able to say this feels incredible. Anyone out there doubting themselves, believe! You are so capable when the environment & support is right pic.twitter.com/a7hMmEUN5T
— An Autistic Nurse (@anautisticnurse) July 16, 2021
Autistic adult & PhD candidate Eloise Stark shares with writer Brendan McDonald the intense toll masking took on her, and the relief she felt in learning she is autistic.
Cn- ableism, discussion of a very traumatic event, talk of suicidal thoughts https://t.co/F8H7h2Ased
— Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (AWN) (@awnnetwork_) July 5, 2021
