4.6 Working with Your Manager

The person who most influences your career growth and satisfaction on the job is your manager.  This is because your manager plays a significant role in providing you with opportunities for skill development including approval for training. Your manager’s recommendations can impact decisions about raises, promotions, job references and can influence upper management’s opinion of you.Their management approach will likely set the tone for the way you approach and complete your work.  Managers play an incredibly powerful role over those whom they manage; some might say too powerful. Results of a 2019 survey indicated that 2 out of 5 Canadian professionals have quit a job because of a bad boss (CBC, 2019).

Given managers’ broad scope of power and authority and their ability to strongly influence your job satisfaction, it’s essential that you prioritize your relationship with your boss. To do so you’ll need to develop the mindset and skills to have as positive and mutually productive a relationship as possible. Of course, there may be situations where, try as you might, you may find it impossible to develop a positive working relationship.  It’s important to know when it’s best for your mental health to leave a job before a negative situation spirals further.

The traditional hierarchy of the manager/employee relationship has been shifting in recent years to one which acknowledges the benefits of a more equal partnership.  There is increasing recognition that the relationship can be more of a two- way street with the employee contributing value to the organization and team and the supervisor contributing resources to support the employee in meeting job and career growth goals. Both are working cooperatively to meet the organization’s broader goals.  However, this is a trend and may not be the reality you encounter in your workplace.

The “ideal” boss

Most of us have a mental picture (or experience) of a bad boss.  But what is your vision of the “perfect” manager? They might be someone who inspires the team, has confidence in team members’ abilities, is concerned about the job growth and career development of each team member.  A good manager is knowledgeable, competent, fair, appreciative, responsive, caring, trustworthy and approachable. They provide clear instructions, are open to feedback, accepting of different perspectives, provide constructive feedback, demonstrate integrity, maintain confidentiality and provide helpful advice.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR MANAGER

Your relationship with your manager is too important not to manage properly. A cooperative relationship will lead to greater job satisfaction and the possibility of more opportunities for growth.  Take the time to observe and take note of your manager both as a person (their qualities, characteristics) and also in their role (their priorities, pressures etc).  You can achieve this through observing their interactions with you and others and reflecting on others’ comments.

Your Manager’s Personality and Approach:

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Consider your manager’s strong and weak points.

Your Manager’s Role and Responsibilities

Just as you have stresses and pressures in your role, so too does your manager. Having empathy and understanding can go a long way to better understanding your manager’s goals, making your time at work run more smoothly. Take time to step back and consider the scope and demands of their role:

You might feel frustrated to hear that proactively taking responsibility for meeting your manager’s needs is something you should pay attention to above and beyond your day-to-day  job responsibilities.  However, even though it is not expressly written in your job description, learning how to maintain a collegial working relationship with your manager is one of the most important skills you can learn and will go on a long way to creating a harmonious and positive working environment. It’s well worth the investment!

Taking into account the larger context of your manager’s personality, responsibilities and concerns, how you might approach your work and communicate with your manager so that you have a more collaborative and smooth working relationship?

Consider creating a confidential running list of observations as you learn and discover more about your manager. You might document what you learn in their dealings with you and other teammates, what frustrates them, motivates them and impresses them.  Brainstorm how you might work differently to impress them or prioritize certain projects to help them do their job more efficiently.

Some common ways to enhance your relationship with your manager:

Conflict Resolution

When people are working together closely, conflicts are inevitable. Conflicts can occur as a result of differences of beliefs, values, opinions, actions, needs or understanding, among others.  They can occur for a wide variety of reasons including hiring decisions, rumours, new policies, a change in a management style or company priorities.

It’s important to bear in mind that conflicts, for example in the case of a disagreement, are not always a bad thing. They can offer a team the chance to learn others’ points of view, grow and innovate. So, it’s not always the conflict itself that’s the problem, it’s how the co-workers involved handle the situation and how quickly and effectively they can be supported.

When conflicts remain unresolved they can lead to stress, diminished team morale, staff departures and lost productivity. Emotions may continue to run high until the nature and impact of the conflict is dealt with in a  way where all involved feel heard and supported. Some larger workplaces  and unionized environments have an in-house dispute resolution process to handle conflicts, which can be extremely beneficial especially in cases where an informal approach hasn’t worked. Where no internal mechanism is available, a neutral third-party may be brought in.

Bridge-building Conversations

A productive and bridge-building conversation following a conflict can repair wounded feelings and lead to greater mutual understanding. Bear in mind that the words you use and the questions you ask are important to consider carefully (For example asking “Why would you say that in the meeting?” is very different from “ Can you explain to me what motivated you to say that in the meeting?”)  You have an opportunity to take an emotional situation and turn it into an opportunity to learn from a colleague or supervisor. Take it.

Remember that a bridge-building conversation requires that both parties take turns speaking and listening. Expressing how a situation made you feel and what you were thinking is as important as taking in what the other person is saying by gently questioning, rephrasing and affirming what you’re hearing.

Below are some tips to help you manage a conversation about a conflict in a way that maintains a positive working relationship:

This information on conflict resolution is just a starting point. Learning how to resolve conflicts effectively is a skill that takes time, commitment and experience to develop. It has been researched and written about extensively. We encourage you to continue to learn and practice your conflict resolution skills by accessing professional development courses/workshops, reading books on the subject, and consulting online resources.