16 Understanding Disability: Compassion Can Go a Long Way – Joanne Lewis

As a disabled student at McMaster, I’m lucky enough to say that my experience has been overall positive – I’ve had plenty of support and encouragement from Faculty, various departments, and my peers. Every student knows that navigating through university is difficult. Having a disability can make it even worse. I am lucky enough to have a great support network, and access to resources such as the Student Wellness Centre, Student Accessibility Services, and Student Success and Case Management. They have been an integral part of my education at McMaster, and I would encourage any student that struggles with their mental health to seek help from one or more of those resources. I’m writing this article to highlight both amazing and terrible ways my instructors have reacted to my disability. Mental health has entered the spotlight in recent years, making many more people aware of how badly it can affect a person. However, my experience at McMaster has shown me that many people still don’t know how to react to or help a struggling person. I hope these experiences shed some light onto how to navigate these complicated relationships, and hopefully foster a better understanding of what it’s like to have a disability at McMaster.  

One negative experience I had as a disabled student occurred in my second year at McMaster, when I had missed multiple mandatory labs in one of my courses. Having a disability means sometimes missing school, even when school is your top priority. Through personal experience, I have learned that when a person avoids dealing with their mental health in order to focus on school, their mental state can deteriorate to the point where they are completely incapable of even taking basic care of themselves. Of course, this happens at the worst possible times, when every course has important deadlines in the same week. In my case, it was during the second set of midterms. McMaster encourages students to communicate with their professors when they cannot fulfill their academic obligations. When I spoke to my lab instructor about my labs, he begrudgingly accommodated me, and angrily told me that I could never miss a lab again. 

If you can’t see why never missing school is an unrealistic thing to ask, I would like to take this opportunity to inform you that some mental conditions can completely take away your ability to function as a normal person. Basic things like eating or sleeping can seem like the most difficult things on the planet. Some mental illnesses can even be life threatening. Like the majority of McMaster students, I try to be a good student. However, going to a lab suddenly didn’t seem as important when my mental state rendered me incapable of performing basic tasks.  

When he told me never to miss a lab again, my lab instructor had essentially just blamed me for a situation I had no control over. It was like telling me to never have a mental illness again. See why that doesn’t make sense? His angry tone didn’t help my anxiety either. If you’re an instructor and find yourself having to accommodate a student that missed more than they should have, keep in mind that students know when they’ve messed up. Even the disabled ones, and we’re likely already beating ourselves up about it without someone having to tell us. We’re all just trying to do our best, and sometimes things get in the way. Compassion, understanding, and trying to find a helpful solution are the most important things when it comes to accommodating students. As a student that has been extended that kindness, I can tell you that it is greatly appreciated. 

One of my favourite professors at McMaster gained that status when he did exactly those things. I was placed in the unfortunate situation of having another mental breakdown, and had missed a large amount of my coursework. At this point, I was so apathetic about everything that I didn’t bother hiding my struggles. I told my instructor exactly how much I had missed, and revealed that my depression had been making things extremely hard. Usually anxiety stops me from doing this, but you might even surprise yourself when you’re constantly attacked by your own mind. 

The instructor set up a one-on-one meeting with me, which was nerve-wracking on its own. However, the first thing he asked me was how I was doing. I didn’t know professors did that. During the meeting, the instructor showed me that he understood how hard my mental illness could be, and did not blame me for my lack of academic performance. He worked with me to create a plan to get back on track, and even told me he was confident in my ability to do well in the course. I saw that his priority was my wellbeing, and that he did not want to cause me additional stress over the course. He handled the situation perfectly, and I am still extremely thankful for the understanding he extended to me in that short conversation. 

I don’t think any instructor would want to cause their students distress. However, it is important to keep in mind that disabilities can be invisible and completely debilitating. Mental illnesses are still being researched, and even leading experts don’t have a definitive answer on how to treat them. While it is not expected that instructors understand exactly what their disabled students go through, I hope you now realize that compassion can go a long way.  

As a disabled student, I often hide how bad things can get in order to appear “normal”. While this makes my invisible illness even less visible, it is still as debilitating. Sometimes my mental state worsens to the point where I am unable to do anything. This can and will happen, and is nobody’s fault. This also means that while learning is my top priority, my depression can become overwhelming and reduce my desire to do well in school. This is also not anyone’s fault. There are many students at McMaster who can relate to me, and I hope that the McMaster community will make a better effort to understand that these students are struggling. I think creating a more understanding community is entirely possible, and would make McMaster a much better and more accessible place.  

For the students like me who struggle with their mental health, think about it like this: you’re not asking for an advantage, you’re asking for equality. One thing I found really helpful was talking about your struggles. It doesn’t matter if it’s to a close friend or a random stranger, it is always helpful to talk to someone. It may be difficult at first, but it helps you get the support you need, and gets much easier over time. Remember that it’s okay to struggle, your challenges are real, and you deserve the chance to succeed.