6 The “Virtual” Ask – Grey Isekai

Open laptop, open browser.
The actions now muscle memory.
Click on “Outlook” on my Bookmarks bar.
Sign in: email, password.

Loading…

Don’t save my password.
Don’t keep me signed in.

Loading…

Glance over inbox, click “New Message.”
Release a deep sigh and immediately start writing.
I see the words on my screen becoming full sentences.
The email growing longer, I whisper to myself “stay focused.”

Flagged…

The straight blue line for errors in grammar.
The squiggly red line for errors in spelling.

Flagged…

When I’m done, I release another deep sigh.
Listen to the sounds of traffic outside as I make my edits.
Finished and frustrated, yell questions out into the void.
Just loud enough to feel in control.

“How many emails have I sent?”
“How many ‘chats’ on Zoom have we had?”
“How many times and how many ways have I tried to explain my experiences to you?”

“Do you realize your dismissals were all laced by praise?”
“Specifically, praise of my critical thinking and articulation?”

“Is my interpretation of my experiences really THAT impressive?”
“Or is it that this interpretation is coming from SOMEONE LIKE ME
that makes it THAT impressive?”

In every communication you continued to demonstrate yourself as
highly inaccessible and greatly out of touch with our positions.

You defended the distance between your “good” intentions and (in)ability to act as
caused by covid/virtual learning rather than what it so clearly was:
procedural barriers YOU have the power to change.

Email sent. We’re really doing this again.
I’m really doing this with you again and class hasn’t even started yet.