Lost at Sea

Throughout my undergraduate studies and into graduate school I continued to feel “lost at sea”. There was the first year (which many students can relate to I’m sure) which involved throwing 18 year old’s out into the sea to see if they swam or sank. There was the sea of “finding friends at frosh”, “keeping up with readings in classes with 1000+ other fish”, “learning to be in charge of your own health and meals”, “withstanding ego damage as the class average rolled out at a B-“, “everyone wants to be a Doc, but not everyone will make it”, and many more treacherous waters. I kind of felt like Nemo jumping into the East Australian Current with no idea of how to get out or where I was going.

First year was a blur, duuuude. I was also used to being the big fish in a small pond in my hometown, and here I was in a new city amongst the entire Sea Anemone! In addition to feeling lost in my pre-med classes, I felt lost in life. What am I doing here? Why am I taking Calc 2? What is this degree actually going to help me with? I realized that my previous decisions to attend University and shoot for med school were mostly made by “following the other fish”. I didn’t really reflect on my “WHY”. Why are you HERE? At this school. Taking this program. In this city. With these people. Even bigger – Why are you here in this LIFE. This feeling of being “lost in academia” didn’t go away after graduating my undergrad. It continued into grad school and really matured into “lost in life” once I entered the working field. You see, I never really had any courses on “character development” or “aligning your values with your purpose” or “knowing WHO you are and WHAT you stand for”. No-one ever taught me about the importance of voicing my values as they related to academia. I felt like my entire education something was missing in helping me feel like I had a compass to navigate being “lost at sea”. This is a wicked problem because if I DID have a compass to return to each time academia made me doubt myself, I would have struggled so much less!

So here is my advice (to myself and to others – students or academic members):

1. Make connections between academic tasks/experiences and your core values. Do you value community? Great! Get involved in clubs and group studies. Find your community by attending ALL the events where groups advertise for new members. Pay attention to WHO your community becomes because it’s easy to think that you want to join a particular club because everyone else does or there is a certain “prestige” attached to it. That is a quick trap in which students must learn early what THEY want and be able to differentiate it from what SOCIETY or OTHERS wish.
2. Visualize the result. Professional athletes perform better after visualizing themselves completing the action in their minds. I imagined myself working with children in a rehab setting after volunteering to teach swimming lessons to children with disabilities. This became part of my WHY. If I had practiced visualization more, I would be able to achieve my academic and career goals more quickly and stably. I would create a plan – break it down, and imagine myself executing that part of the goal. I’d make an image of what I was doing, who was there, the sensory experience, and all (smells/tastes/thoughts).
3. Ask guiding questions – Do I want to work with people (yes or no)? What are my strengths and weaknesses? If I think back to my undergrad and the questions I asked myself that altered my academic path, it was those. I remember choosing between pursuing research and a professional-based graduate program and thought, “Do I like people? Do I want to devote my career to serving people?” If yes, maybe research wouldn’t be as fulfilling for me. These questions might have come from an internal source sometimes, but my advice for the wicked problem of “feeling lost at sea in academia” would be to “sit with your shit” – Brene Brown. If you don’t know what questions to ask, search for the topic! I remember googling “why do people pursue a Ph.D.,” and there were real-life accounts of students’ “reasons for WHY.” I then asked myself the same questions they proposed.
4. Reflect and Journal – Look at how far you’ve come! Set small goals. Reflect on what “feels good” or “sets your soul on fire.” Suppose I think about the academic experiences that felt good. In that case, I think about a Women’s Health course I attended to fill a requirement for my Life Science minor (it turned out to be one of the most influential courses I took as it taught me about “social determinants of health”). I think about a research project I took to advocate for recreational activities for children with disabilities. I wanted to tell the whole world about that project. But at the time, I felt lost because I wasn’t listening to what was driving me. I was comparing myself to other students and listening to stories about “what success meant” for others. Also, by journaling, I could go back and look at what I had written and how I felt at that moment, then decide for the future.
5. Find mentorship – People doing what you THINK you want to do. Try it out! Learn and pivot. One of the best things that helped me learn my compass for academia (then life) was learning about the compass that other people (usually older and wiser) used to navigate. Volunteering under a Physiotherapist in private practice, I realized that he was driven by “checking things off his to-do list.” That gave his work value. Seeking mentorship from a senior student, I learned how the academic experience is more than just learning about a specific subject/area – older students shared their favorite memories being post-exam celebrations, finding new hobbies, and exploring new areas of the city. This helped me “zoom out” of thinking I was “lost at sea” during a significant thunderstorm (undergrad), and instead calmly find the wheel and enjoy the ride!
6. Read – Research – Real Life (find integration and motivation). When I saw a research study about my interest in aquatic therapy for children with disabilities, I was pumped! I later wrote several school projects around this area of interest. It didn’t feel like work anymore! It felt like the activities I enjoyed (teaching and swimming) aligned with my assignments and, thus, how I was spending my time in academia.
7. Meditation in all forms. I highly overlooked the power of meditation – in sports, yoga, and everyday mindfulness. Now that I can be “an observer of my mind,” I can actively choose what thoughts I want to engage with, impacting my mood and actions (also known as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). This makes me think.. get a counselor! Go to therapy! If that’s what it takes to help you answer some deep-rooted questions about why you’re at University. Take advantage of those student benefits and try out all the therapies!
8. Take courses on self-development. Did you know that in Monk school, Jay Shetty talks about how the first “class for children” was on “how to breathe”? If I had been taught to control my breath, I would have something to return to every time stress or worry consumed my thoughts and feelings. A compass! This is science, by the way.

Take the advice and apply it to all areas of life. The big adventure is the school-to-real-life (work) transition. Enjoy the present moment (easier said than done) by immersing yourself in the things you love. Find a balance between “being” and “doing” and “reflecting on being and doing.” But be aware that once you find a personal compass to navigate academia, work, or any life event, you have the only tool you will ever need – yourself. So even though undergraduate school felt like a storm that I had no control over, I now realize that the main thing that would have helped me when I felt seriously lost was to return to myself.

Flindall-Hanna, M. (2021, October 20). Lost at Sea. Liberated Learners. https://wicked.liberatedlearner.ca/learner/lost-at-sea/