CASE STUDY 5: JASMINE

Profile

Background

Jasmine’s family immigrated to Canada from India in 2001 when Jasmine was 10 years old. Their first residence was a small apartment. Jasmine lived with her parents and younger brother until she began university.

Family and Systemic Violence Witnessed/Experienced

In India, Jasmine’s immediate family lived with her father’s extended family, but Jasmine’s mother was ill-treated by her in-laws. Jasmine recalled an incident when she was six and living in India. She was sitting on her mother’s lap while extended family members verbally abused her mother, making her cry. According to her mother, the extended family members did not allow her mother to hold or look after Jasmine when she was an infant. As a way of protecting his wife, Jasmine’s father decided to move to Canada, and Jasmine’s mother is grateful to him for this decision. Jasmine’s mother feels obligated to her husband for this.

After moving to Canada, Jasmine began noticing extreme tension and arguments between her parents because they lived in a much smaller space than before. Jasmine did not witness her father physically abuse her mother, but he did use corporal punishment on her and her brother. Jasmine’s father wanted his children to do well in school, and when they did not, he unleashed his anger on them and would slap the backs of their heads. Likewise, when they were disobedient. According to Jasmine, he tried to buy her love. When his anger had abated, he showered Jasmine with expensive gifts. Jasmine’s fear of being punished by her father for not doing well in school was so severe that on one occasion, she sought out a school friend to help her change the marks on her report card. Her father also did not allow Jasmine to have friends over or to go to sleepovers at friends’ homes. Nor did he allow Jasmine and her brother to socialize with children from their community but preferred that they mingle with white children. In Jasmine’s opinion, her father believed he moved his family to Canada for a better life, and the family did not value this.

Jasmine’s father’s abuse ended when Jasmine moved into a university residence. Jasmine felt she had to leave home for her safety and to develop into her own person. During her first year in university, she suffered from a serious illness and was frequently hospitalized. Against her will, Jasmine returned home that summer and had to remain at home because her father did not let her take a summer job. In subsequent years, Jasmine avoided moving home by taking summer classes at the university.

Jasmine and her brother have both moved out of their parents’ home, but they visit their parents frequently. Their relationship with their father has improved. There are no bitter arguments when they meet. However, it has taken Jasmine 10 years of persistently challenging his behaviour to reach this point. Jasmine’s father’s anger and violent behaviour also lessened when he realized that if he did not change, he would lose his children. Jasmine’s parents are still together, but her father continues to verbally abuse her mother. Jasmine and her brother defend their mother whenever it happens in their presence. While Jasmine and her brother did not get along as children, he is now one of her best friends. She trusts her brother and feels she can speak to him about anything.

When Jasmine was 26 years old, she began working for a catering company because she loved to cook. She was the only woman and person of colour in the kitchen and felt she was treated differently because she had not attended culinary school like her co-workers had.

People often expressed surprise that Jasmine spoke English without a South Asian accent. This affected her as a child, and she wondered why people would assume she would have an accent. Jasmine was also the recipient of micro-aggressive comments such as “Where is Bangladesh? I have never heard of it before” and “You know you are pretty for a brown woman.”

Experiences while Accessing Supports

When Jasmine was in grade 11, she was determined to leave home after high school. To this end, she sought help from a guidance counsellor to identify a good undergraduate co-op program at a university away from her home. Jasmine convinced her father to let her enter the program recommended by the guidance counsellor. In the process, she rejected an offer of admission from a reputable university close to her parents’ home.

Impacts of Family and Systemic Violence

Jasmine has recently been diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder. She had similar symptoms in high school but was not diagnosed. She has had stomach issues since she started university, which has gotten worse in the past two years. This has resulted in frequent visits to the hospital and emergency clinics. The doctors believe stress is causing the stomach issues. She has also been diagnosed with a hernia on her esophagus.

Jasmine feels she did not have a normal childhood because she had to stay home often and could not socialize with friends. She, therefore, chose to socialize at university instead of focusing on her studies. This impacted Jasmine’s academic performance, and she lost her place in the much-desired co-op program she was enrolled in. The pressure of school and losing her place in the co-op program affected her mental and physical health. She started experiencing anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. Since Jasmine did not do well in university, she had to retake her courses, which required additional OSAP (Ontario Student Assistant Program) loans, leaving her with substantial debt. Because of this debt, OSAP has only partially funded the diploma program Jasmine is currently enrolled. Jasmine has currently taken a break from studying to save money for the tuition.