CASE STUDY 2: ADRIANA

Profile

Background

Adriana was born in Syria into a traditional Muslim family and is the oldest of five siblings. When Adriana was an infant, her father, a Ph.D. graduate, received a scholarship to work in China. Adriana has many childhood memories of travelling to China to visit her father while living in Syria. At the age of 12, Adriana, her mother, and her siblings joined her father in China after the war broke out in Syria. Adriana’s school friends and a teacher played a critical role in supporting Adriana in navigating the family violence.

Family and Systemic Violence Witnessed/Experienced

When Adriana was 11 years old and living in Syria, she began wearing a hijab because she wanted to be grown up and felt that, from a cultural perspective, it represented womanhood. However, once she began wearing a hijab, Adriana was expected to behave as a grown woman, which she felt was unjust. When Adriana moved to China, she did not want to wear her hijab^[1]. Her parents did not accept this idea and forced her wear the same. Adriana’s father prayed five times daily, and everyone in the house was expected to join him. As a preteen, Adriana did not understand the rationale behind the religious instructions but knew that if she refused or did things that her parents did not condone, including not praying “properly” and not wearing a hijab, she would be physically and verbally abused.

Adriana’s parents disapproved if they thought Adriana was engaging in behaviour that went against their religious faith. Her father would get angry and tell Adriana he did not want her to be his child. He hit her with his hands or objects, and her mother verbally abused her. Adriana’s mother emotionally abused her by saying things such as, “I don’t understand why God even created you” and “You are a disgrace to us.” To avoid abuse, Adriana pretended that she was following religious practices. These hurtful comments made Adriana wish that she was deaf.

Adriana’s family encouraged her to pursue education but controlled what she studied. In China, when Adriana’s father learned that her school taught physical and sexual health education, he prohibited Adriana from participating in the same, by arranging her absence with the teacher. Adriana was also not allowed to participate in a school swimming gala with her friends.

Adriana struggled with her identity because her parents controlled how she dressed and behaved in front of others. Adriana’s father was respected in their ethnic community in Syria as he was the only highly educated male in the village, and also in China because he helped community members. He took leadership and supported community members in addressing problems and issues important to the community. Adriana’s father behaved kindly with Adriana in front of guests, despite inflicting abuse on her before the guests arrived. Adriana never wanted guests to leave because the abuse and yelling could commence once they did.

Whenever Adriana was upset, she drew dark pictures of naked women because she felt naked bodies were in their most real form without added layers of deception. Her parents found those pictures inappropriate. Her mother often rummaged through her room, looking for anything she could condemn her for. When Adriana returned from school one day, her mother had ripped the drawings apart. Adriana’s mother screamed at her, saying that Adriana was “the child of the devil” whose “head is being controlled by demons” and that she was a “whore” who had “no shame.”

Sometimes during abusive episodes, her father shifted his focus from her to her mother and began blaming her mother for Adriana’s behaviour. Adriana was relieved when her parents argued because it diverted their attention from her and stopped the abuse toward her. Often, a day or two after mistreating her, her parents bought her gifts or cooked Adriana’s favourite food. This behaviour was confusing for her.

When Adriana was 15 years old, Adriana began taking a change of clothing in her backpack when she was heading to school. Before going to school, she would remove her hijab and long shirt in the subway washroom and before heading home, she would put it back on. Adriana loved going to school and being outside with friends because it was her escape from the abuse she experienced at home.

The first person that Adriana confided in about her experiences of abuse was a school friend from the UK. The friend asked Adriana why she had ignored his texts the entire summer, and Adriana explained that her parents had taken away her phone. Later, this school friend told his mother, who was a teacher at the school that Adriana went to, about Adriana’s situation. Adriana also confided in this teacher, but the teacher was limited in her capacity to help. When Adriana was 18, she moved out of her parent’s residence into her own apartment.

During the three years that Adriana lived in China independently from her parents, she continued to experience physical and emotional abuse. Her father held onto her official identification documents. Without these documents, Adriana could not access services. For example, Adriana could not rent an apartment in her name. She had to rent her first apartment under a friend’s name and access healthcare services at a free clinic.

After Adriana left her parent’s home, she lived in poverty. Without identification, Adriana could not be officially employed. She supported herself by relying on cash jobs, which included teaching English to Chinese students, modelling, translating, working in a bakery and being a personal assistant. Her income sources were unstable, and sometimes there was not enough money. At those times, Adriana relied on her friends’ generosity for food. Before moving to Canada, Adriana began receiving financial assistance from the UN.

It was only after Adriana left China and resettled in Canada that her parents’ abuse stopped. In Canada, Adrianna maintains phone contact with her family, except her mother continues to believe that Adrianna lied about her abuse. She has deleted her mother’s messages because they were triggering. To maintain their reputation, Adriana’s parents have misled their extended family in Syria, saying that they sent Adriana to Canada on an academic scholarship. Adriana has the contact information of her extended family members but does not communicate with them as she worries they share her parents’ mindset. Adriana is still in contact with her friends and teachers in China and keeps them updated about new events in her life, such as being admitted into a Canadian university. Adriana plans to legally change her last name when she is allowed as a security precaution and a way of continuing her reinvention.

Experiences while Accessing Supports

Adrianna perceives that in China, law enforcement did not protect her from her father’s controlling behaviour.  Adriana’s school wanted to remain impartial, and any support that Adriana received from the school was from individual teachers acting independently. In order to gain more freedom, Adriana applied to five universities in the UK but declined their offers of admission because they did not offer full scholarships. Adriana secured a full scholarship for a school in Mexico but could not go because her father had confiscated her identification. To break free from the control of her parents and to earn a better livelihood, Adriana planned to move to Beijing. To do this, she needed a permit to travel to Beijing but could not obtain it.

Adriana applied for resettlement as a refugee under the United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR). Adriana received financial support from the UN and UNHCR offices in Beijing after they learned of her poverty. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, her application for refugee status was delayed, but eventually, UNHCR offered Adriana the option to relocate to either Canada or Mexico and, based on her decision, supported her resettlement as a refugee to Canada.

Impacts of Family and Systemic Violence

Growing up, to escape from home, Adriana injured herself to be admitted to a hospital. For Adriana, being hospitalized was a temporary relief from the abuse she experienced at home. Adriana also considered suicide multiple times, mainly after she had run away from home. Adriana felt hopeless, helpless and trapped as she feared she would be returned to her father’s care. The nightmares and panic attacks Adrianna experienced throughout her childhood continue even though Adriana is settled in Canada.

Adriana created artwork as an emotional outlet for the abuse she experienced, and she often used dark colours to reflect her depressive symptoms. Since moving to Canada, she has noticed a positive shift in her artwork in the emotions expressed and the colours used.