7.4 Wilson Case Study – Part 2

8. One evening, when Maya wouldn’t lie down in her crib, Elizabeth held her down, squeezing her arms. She then walked out of the room and banged the door shut, and said, “shut the f—k up!” She went downstairs with the baby monitor. She had the volume on low and poured herself a glass of wine.

9. Ryan arrived home about an hour after that. He kissed her as he walked into the living room with his own glass of wine, bringing the bottle with him. “Top up, honey?” “Absolutely!” “Rough day?” he asks. “You know, I told you I didn’t want kids, not unless I could have them.” “Now I am lumbered with this f—king mess upstairs.” “Oh honey, don’t say that she’s our baby,” Ryan frowns. “Yeh, well, you can have ourrrr baby, I’m done.” “And you can get a new nanny, I can’t stand Gloria.” With that, Elizabeth left the room.

10. Ryan knew he wanted children when he met Elizabeth. She was beautiful, and he wanted to have the perfect house, wife, and children. He had dreams of summer vacations in the Muskoka’s and winter vacations on the slopes. He had worked hard to get a good career and all the benefits that went with it. His wife was beautiful and a match for his intelligence. They were a power couple in town. When pregnancy didn’t come easy, and thousands of dollars of fertility treatments wreaked havoc on Elizabeth’s body and moods, impacting their relationship, he was happy to end it with the adoption of Maya. Problem solved, he decided. He had heard about the private agency through a colleague at the office. In the end, it cost $50,000 to get Maya into their hands. He loved her at first sight. Elizabeth was excited and did everything possible to prepare for their baby’s arrival, from hiring the decorators for the nursery to buying the best of everything for their baby to come!

They hired a Filipino nanny to arrive the same week as Maya did so Elizabeth would have help and support. Elizabeth didn’t quite fall in love with the baby right away or become the nurturing mother he had hoped, but he wasn’t worried. He thought these things must take time. He left the care and responsibilities of Maya to Elizabeth because he believed that women know best about what children needed and his career as an engineer was incredibly demanding. He couldn’t get distracted by runny noses and how to make kids go to sleep. He wanted to be an involved father, but there was a limit to his involvement. Despite some of the challenges, he loved Maya and really appreciated Gloria because she did so much with their baby and helped around the house.

11. When Maya was nine months old, he started talking to the adoption agency about adopting another child. He just wanted to consider his options. He wanted a son and wouldn’t consider an adoption that wasn’t a boy. He discovered that boys were more money and less available. This didn’t discourage him, and he eventually put a deposit down with the agency for a baby in a year’s time. He wanted their children to be two years apart. He had not talked to Elizabeth about any of this. She was so busy with work and Maya. He didn’t want to discuss it until he was sure they had a baby to talk about. He was secretly excited and felt a sense of relief. His family would be complete.