3.3 Victim Discourse
Adversity is an inevitable part of life, and you may identify as a victim of circumstances if one or more of the following criteria are met:
1. Your Rights or Freedoms Were Violated
2. A Crime Was Committed Against You
3. You Were Diagnosed with an Illness
4. You Were Not the Cause of a Harmful Situation and Were Under No Obligation to Prevent the Harm
Such situations are often challenging to prove and thus apply only in rare and exceptional circumstances where:
- You had no control over the harmful event.
- There was no reasonable expectation or duty for you to intervene or prevent the harm.
This could include harm caused by natural disasters or other unforeseeable events such as earthquakes, hurricanes, sudden landslides, or unexpected infrastructure failures (e.g., a bridge collapse or gas explosion). These events are beyond your control, and there is no reasonable expectation for you to have prevented or intervened in such situations.
Victim Blaming
When a victim of a crime, illness, or other harmful act (as outlined above) is held entirely or partially responsible for the harm they experienced, they may experience victim blaming. This phenomenon shifts the focus from the perpetrator or circumstances to the victim’s perceived actions leading to the harm.
The term was coined in the early 1970s to describe an ideology used to justify racism and social injustice against minority groups in the United States (Ryan, 2010). Today, victim blaming is commonly seen in cases of sexual assault and criminal harassment, where victims are questioned or criticized for their behaviour, appearance, or decisions leading up to the event. This practice not only perpetuates harm but also potentially discourages victims from seeking support or justice.
Victim Mentality
When trouble arises, tensions are high, or things don’t go the way they should, it is human nature to shift responsibility away from yourself and towards someone or somewhere else:
- “Life is just unfair.”
- “Why does this always happen to me?”
- “I can’t catch a break.”
- “They’re out to get me.”
- “No one understands what I’m going through.”
- “It’s because of my upbringing that I’m like this.”
- “I didn’t have a choice.”
- “If only things were different, I could succeed.”
- “Other people have it easier than I do.”
- “There’s nothing I can do to change it”.
This thought process can lead an individual to claim they are a victim, or adopt a victim mentality, an acquired personality trait where a person tends to see themselves (or others) as a victim of negative actions by others in the absence of evidence or when circumstances suggest otherwise.
Victim mentality is a common hurdle for those hoping to pursue wellness because it prevents them from taking accountability for their actions and decisions. This mindset often leads to inaction and a sense of stagnation as their problems are viewed as insurmountable. Those who adopt this mindset often foster deep resentment toward others whom they perceive as “lucky” or “privileged,” further isolating the individual.
Chronic victim mentality can create a cycle of negativity that stifles personal growth, damages relationships, and harms overall well-being. This cycle often begins when individuals consistently interpret challenges as things being done to them rather than as experiences they can learn from. Over time, this mindset reinforces feelings of helplessness, which can lead to increased resentment, isolation, and passivity. Similar in mechanism to the meaning–wellness positive feedback cycle discussed in Chapter 2—but in reverse—this negative cycle builds on itself: the more someone sees themselves as a victim, the less empowered they feel to take action, and the more they suffer emotionally and socially. It may also lead to destructive behaviours, as individuals justify harmful actions by blaming external factors rather than addressing their own role in the situation.
Common Victim Mentality Traits
Individuals who adopt a victim mentality often exhibit the following patterns of thought and behaviour:
A World Centred Around Obstacles
- They perceive their life and the lives of others as a series of obstacles directly aimed at them.
- They believe only they (and maybe a select few) experience the challenges they face, making their struggles uniquely burdensome.
A Negative and Fatalistic Outlook on Life
- Most aspects of life are seen as negative and beyond their control.
- Conflict and trouble seem to follow them everywhere they go.
- They often believe their life is inherently unfair and unlikely to improve.
Seeking Sympathy Over Solutions
- They view the challenges in their lives (and others) as deserving of constant sympathy.
- They feel the need to broadcast their struggles so others can feel sorry for them.
A Sense of Powerlessness
- They (and others) are perceived as having little power to change their circumstances.
- Life, or “the system,” is seen as rigged to favour particular groups or people in positions of power.
- They believe that taking action to improve their problems is a waste of time, as any effort would likely fail.
Excusing Personal Responsibility
- They rarely take responsibility for their thoughts, actions, or outcomes.
- Once an individual has defined themselves as unjustly situated, oppressed or cursed, nothing is forbidden to them. They rationalize or justify harmful behaviours (e.g., crimes, harsh words, or poor decisions) because of their circumstances.
