Recognizing Relational Communication in the Workplace
Clearly, understanding relational communication has exciting value for your personal life. But how about in the workplace?
Effective communication is essential for building trust with friends and colleagues, communicating goals, allocating tasks, and hitting performance targets
Speaking the Same Language
Have you ever wondered why we shake hands?
Shaking hands, a pat on the back, and high fives all have a clear denominator: touch. When us human beings touch, we share a moment: a moment of agreeance, a moment of understanding, and a moment of connectedness.
That is, usually. When these touches come at the wrong place and time we panic. We feel “weirded out”.
Let’s consider a few examples:
Examples of Workplace Communication
Imagine you are interviewing for two different, although similar positions. You walk in the door and are greeted by your interviewer who gets up from behind their desk to meet you at the door.
Interviewer A grabs you by the upper arm and walks you to the chair opposite their desk.
Once seated they lean back and stare at you with a blank expression, waiting for you to talk.
Interviewer B, too, meets you at the door. They say hello, nod, and gesture for you to take a seat. Once seated, they lean in, smile, and ask you to tell them a bit about yourself.
Based on this information alone, who would you rather work with?
If your initial inclination was to choose Interviewer B, you are not alone. We tend to gravitate to those that speak our same language, and in North American culture a friendly smile and lean forward says “I like you and I’d like to get to know you.” Interviewer A’s distant and passive nonverbal expression seems rude and disinterested.
Interestingly, both interviewers could be communicating relationally. Interviewer A’s distant style is typical of high context East Asian cultures, where physical and communicative space signal respect. Interviewer B’s close and expressive style is typical of high context Latin, Mediterranean, and African cultures where communication space is shared and engagement is conveyed through physical closeness and dramatic expression. Both styles are relational in their concern and respect for others, expressed nonverbally.
What would a low context, nonrelational Interviewer do? They would use direct verbal messaging with a clear task focus. They might say, “Please come in and sit here. Now I am going to ask you a series of questions.”
Just like a good interviewer, we should know a bit about our interviewees. What is their language? How might they interpret our directness and our nonverbal communication? How might I need to adjust my questions and listen differently to truly hear what the interviewee has to offer?
What else do we know about Indigenous communication styles that we might encounter at work?
- Storytelling: An Indigenous interviewee might respond to a question with a story that indirectly conveys their skills and knowledge.
- Symbols: An Indigenous employee might prefer to fill their workspace with Indigenous symbols that communicate their identity. This might be a star blanket, Indigenous artwork, or a name plate in their Indigenous language.
- Active listening: Indigenous values for Respect, Reciprocity, and Relevance are seen in strong active listening skills. Regardless of their position, Indigenous employees will act as both teacher and learner in conversation. Each individual is responsible for the words they put out into the world, so words are carefully considered before being spoken. And listeners look for subtle meaning beyond that contained in words. Due to these communication styles, Indigenous counterparts may seem to listen more than talk at work.
- Nonverbal communication: Recall that Indigenous communication styles are more high context, meaning more information is conveyed nonverbally than is typical for the Western Canadian workplace. Indigenous employees may use stories, symbols, gestures, tone of voice, eye contact, and body posture to convey information about feelings, relationships, and interests
Blankets are used to practice traditions in many Indigenous cultures, for example star quilts designed by the Dakota/Lakota/Nakota peoples. Blankets are often given as gifts for significant life and work events. Wearing a blanket on one’s shoulders symbolizes being held by one’s ancestors.
Different nations may use blankets in different ways, shaped by their culture and passed on to future generations.
Reflection
Listen to first 90 seconds of the video about Anishinaabe understandings of time. Consider the use of story telling and also how different understandings of time communicate.
Now that we have explored the different ways non-verbal communication shows up in the workplace, take some time to reflect on the following questions and write your answers in box provided below:
Indigenous Worldviews: The Roots of Relational Communication
Consider the following examples of workplace communication. Each example is followed first with a common misinterpretation we encounter in the Canadian workplace and then with a culturally informed interpretation.
Example
You ask a colleague if they can help you with a work task. They do not respond.
- Common misinterpretations: my colleague is not a team player; my colleague is rude for not responding.
- Culturally informed interpretation: an Indigenous employee might not respond to a request that they cannot fulfil. This indirect form of saying “no” uphold Indigenous values for relationality and preserving harmony.
A colleague is not actively participating in a group discussion.
- Common misinterpretations: my colleague is unprepared; my colleague is not a team player
- Culturally informed interpretation: Indigenous values for respect and reciprocity translate into active listening in communication. Respect is evident in the assumption of equal status – all parties have something to teach and something to learn. Reciprocity is evident in actively listening and turn-taking so that everyone has a chance to speak as much as they are called to share.
At a work social event, you ask an Indigenous colleague to share a story they had previously shared with you. They politely excuse themselves from the conversation.
- Common misinterpretation: my colleague is antisocial. My colleague doesn’t want to make friends at work.
- Culturally informed interpretation: The principle of responsibility means Indigenous speakers hold responsibility for what is done with the words they put out into the world. Your colleague may have shared a story that was meaningful in the context of your relationship. This does not mean it is a story to share freely with strangers.
When a colleague is in charge of meetings, they always start late.
- Common misinterpretations: My colleague is disorganized and can’t do things in a timely manner. My colleague doesn’t respect other’s time.
- Culturally informed interpretation: Indigenous views of time are relational – meetings start when everyone has arrived (meaning their previous meetings and interactions with others have been brought to a natural close) and is ready to start. Meetings are allowed to continue until a natural and logical conclusion. It is relationships and communication that dictate time, not hours and minutes on a clock. In other words, your Indigenous colleague is incredibly respectful of others’ time.
As we have learned on this page, trust and understanding of non-verbal communication and cultural cues can help us to communicate more effectively and build relationships with those around us.
