23 Du vs Sie vs ihr
Du vs Sie vs ihr
German has not one, but three ways of saying ‘you’: du, ihr and Sie and it is crucial to know when to use each.
Du is used to talk to one person only
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- when being informal;
- with friends and family;
- to express informal solidarity (e.g. to a fellow student, even of you don’t know them);
- to talk to children & animals
Ihr is the plural form of du and means ‘you guys’ or ‘you all’.
-
- it is used in the same situations as du
Sie is the polite ‘You’ and is the same when talking to one person or several people. It is used:
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- in formal settings;
- to people you don’t know well;
- people a lot older than you;
- in professional settings.
Choosing whether to use ‘du’ or ‘Sie’ can be tricky as you can offend people either way:
- if you use ‘Sie’ when ‘du’ is expected, it might seem that you think you are better than them & want to keep them at arm’s length (e.g. when talking to another student of a similar age);
- if you use ‘du’ where ‘Sie’ is expected, the person you are addressing will feel that you are getting too close and personal with them (e.g. if you use du when talking to your professor, or a much older person)
The switch from Sie to du is an important milestone in any relationship as it signals equality and familiarity.
There is even a German expression ‘auf du und du stehen’ (to stand on ‘du’ & ‘du’ terms) which corresponds to ‘to be on first-name terms’ in English.
e.g. Der Präsident? Ich stehe auf du und du mit ihm!
(The president? I am on 1st name terms with him)
If you are not sure how do address someone, it is safe to start using ‘Sie’ and later ask:
- “Darf ich du sagen?” (may I say ‘du’?) or “Wollen wir uns duzen?” (should we call each other ‘du’?)
Some people will accept right away, but you might also hear no answer, which means ‘no’. Respect that.
Personally, I ended up feeling really awkward when you ask someone to switch to ‘du’ and they say they are comfortable with ‘Sie’. This du/Sie business is a big deal in Germany!