4.1: Being Reader-Centred
Learning Objectives
- Understand reader-centred writing
- Define and apply a professional tone
What Is Reader-Centred Writing?
Writing can be conceptualized as either writer-centred or reader-centred. Things like diaries and journals are primarily writer-centred, in that they are written for the benefit of the writer. Your academic work may also have been somewhat writer-centred, in that often your goal was to “show what you know” and thereby “get a good grade.” Technical communications require that you shift this mindset and write for the benefit of your reader—or design the content and structure of your communication for your “user.” This mindset should be informed by an understanding of your audience. For more information on analyzing and adapting to your audience see 1.4: Analyzing and Adapting to Your Audience.
What Is a Professional Tone?
“Tone” refers to the attitude that a document conveys towards the topic and/or the reader. You have likely read something that sounded angry, optimistic, humorous, cynical, or enthusiastic. These words characterize the tone. Technical communication tends to avoid displaying an obvious emotion and instead strives for a neutral tone.
Tone is created through word choice (diction), word order (syntax), sentence construction, and viewpoint. Consider a piece of academic writing that you may have read. It creates a formal tone through its use of specialized terminology, sophisticated vocabulary, complex sentence structures, and third person voice. This style suits the genre because it is directed at experts and scholars in the field, and seeks to convey complex information densely and objectively, with an emphasis on reason, logic, and evidence.
Now consider a piece of business writing that you may have read. The tone may be sightly less formal but not colloquial. The language is direct and plain, and the sentences are shorter and more straightforward. It may make use of the second person (“you”). This style suits business writing because it is directed at colleagues, management, or clients who are seeking information clearly and quickly and who may need to take action on it.
Striking the appropriate tone involves understanding your purpose, context, and audience. It also involves an understanding that workplaces are often hierarchical, and that cooperation and teamwork are required. Therefore, it is important to consider how you want your reader to feel, and what may make your reader feel that way. Your goal is to write constructively, which means to use positive phrasing to convey your message to your reader. Table 4.1.A. illustrates the differences between destructive/negative and constructive/positive feelings the reader may experience as a result of the tone used in a document.
| Negative | Positive |
|---|---|
| misunderstood | understood |
| outraged | conciliatory |
| disgusted | pleased |
| guilty | capable |
| belittled | empowered |
| patronized | respected |
| defensive | proud |
| chastised | valued |
| humiliated | honoured |
| excluded | a sense of belonging |
| resentment | contentment |
Table 4.1.A: Negative or Positive Feelings of a Reader
Considering how your reader may feel after reading your document is an important part of revision. Did your tone come across like you hoped it would? Could it be misconstrued? Often this is where peer reviewing can be helpful. Asking a colleague to review your document is a common professional practice.
Sometimes, you will need to communicate information that is unpleasant, such as delivering bad news or rejecting a request. Communicating constructively is very important in these situations. Regardless of the message, how can you ensure you are communicating constructively? Here are some suggestions:
- Adopt an adult-to-adult approach: Avoid talking down to your reader in a patronizing tone and, likewise, avoid sounding petulant or unwilling to take responsibility. Aim to communicate respectfully, responsibly, confidently, and cooperatively, as one responsible adult to another.
- Be courteous: Focus on the reader as much as possible. Use “you” unless it results in blaming. Use traditionally accepted forms of courtesy and politeness. Use gender-neutral phrasing and plural forms, unless you are referring to a specific person and you know their gender or preferred pronoun.
- Focus on the positive: Emphasize what you can do rather than what you can’t. Try to avoid negative wording and phrasing (no, not, never, none, isn’t, can’t, don’t, etc.). Focus on what can be improved.
- Be genuine: Apologize if you have made a mistake. Take responsibility and promise to do better. Be authentic in your expression. Avoid sounding like marketing material. Make reasonable claims that can be backed with evidence.
Consider the following perspectives:
| Writer-Centred (I, we) | Reader-Centred (you) |
|---|---|
| If I can answer any questions, I’ll be happy to do so. | If you have any questions, please ask. |
| We completed the network assessment this morning. | Your network assessment was complete this morning. |
| I’m happy to report that … | You’ll be glad to know that … |
| Negative Phrasing | Positive Phrasing |
|---|---|
| We cannot initiate the system installation because the necessary forms have not been completed. | Your system installation will be initiated as soon as we receive the necessary forms. |
| We do not process lab tests after 3:00pm on Fridays. | Your lab test will be processed first thing on Monday morning. |
| We stopped pulling data because we never received the information requested in our letter of April 25. | Once we receive the information, we will move ahead with pulling the data as soon as possible. Please see our letter from April 25 for more details. |
TRY IT
Exercise 4.1.A: Revise an Email for Appropriate Tone
Revise this draft email to ensure its tone is appropriate.
A colleague has asked you to review her email before sending. What revisions to content, tone, and style would you suggest?
From: Shalini Umashankar
To: Zeke Smith, Project Co-ordinator
Date: 12 March 2022
Subject: Two Problems
Hi Mr. Smith,
Say, we may need to increase the budget on this project by $12,000. Drew screwed up when he calculated material costs. Now we don’t have enough budgeted to add the additional G3 servers with the 36GB 15k hot pluggable hard drives. I know you don’t know what all that means, but trust me. WE NEED THOSE SERVER UPGRADES!!!
Also, I would like to talk about getting my office moved closer to the rest of the IT department. All the running back and forth is disturbing other employees. I am so far away from everyone that I figure I must need to change deodorant or something. ; )
SU
TRY IT!
Exercise 4.1.B: Revise a Memo for Appropriate Tone
Revise this draft memo to ensure its tone is appropriate.
How do you think the following memo will make the recipients feel? How would you revise the following memo to more constructively address the problem?
From: The President
To: All Employees
Date: May 7, 2022
Subject: Littering
For some time now, smoking has been strictly prohibited within five metres of the Main Building entrance. Do NOT smoke anywhere near the doors!
Some of you still insist on smoking and have been doing so inside this area. As a result, the areas near the rear exit and around the picnic tables are constantly littered with smoking-related debris (filter tips, half-smoked cigarettes, empty lighters, etc.), creating an eyesore and making more work for my staff, who have to keep cleaning up this mess.
Starting Monday, sand buckets will be provided outside the read doors and in the picnic area. Use them!
References & Attributions
Attributions
Content on this page is adapted from Technical Writing Essentials by Suzan Last, which is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License, except where otherwise noted.
