Reflection

Reflecting on my journey into the nursing program, I realize how significant this decision has been for me. Nursing is my second career; I spent over 20 years in social services, specifically child protection. Although I found that work rewarding, it was also emotionally draining, leading to burnout and a desire for change. I had always aspired to enter the medical field, and in my 40s, I finally summoned the courage to pursue a nursing career. I applied to Fleming College’s Practical Nursing Program and was accepted in January 2022. Transitioning into education at this stage of my life while managing a family with two children and a husband and leaving a secure full-time job was daunting. Anxiety and fear accompanied me throughout this journey. What if I was too old? What if I couldn’t balance coursework, family, and other commitments? What would happen if I failed? However, my time at Fleming transformed my belief in myself and my abilities. I gained confidence, became an honour roll student, received several awards, and graduated with a GPA of 3.998. Immediately after my consolidation and licensing exam, I secured a position at Peterborough Regional Health Services on an acute medical floor. I was officially a nurse! It still feels surreal to have achieved this milestone.

Despite this accomplishment, I noticed gaps in my knowledge and critical thinking skills while working. I struggled with quick problem-solving related to my patients’ pathophysiological processes and felt less effective in advocating for them due to this. Although I was satisfied with my decision to pursue nursing, I knew I could improve and expand my knowledge. After a year of practice, I continued my education by pursuing a BScN at Trent University. Again, I faced anxiety about returning to school in my mid-40s. Could I manage work and university? Would my family, especially my children, support another three years of schooling? Having had a positive experience as a mature student at Fleming, I felt confident in my abilities. My family was incredibly supportive and excited about my application to Trent University. In February of 2024, I received my acceptance letter for a September start date. Eager to lighten my course load, I took summer courses that I found interesting, although my grades weren’t as high as I’d hoped. I was satisfied and felt another sense of renewed confidence in my abilities to achieve this next goal in my life.

When classes began in September, I quickly felt overwhelmed. Balancing work, attending classes three days a week, and receiving grades that didn’t reflect my previous performance led to feelings of defeat and self-doubt. I wondered if I should have remained at the RPN level. During this challenging time, one of my classes focused on transitioning from RPN to RN, where I learned about Meleis’ transition theory (Meleis, 2010). This theory helped me recognize that I was experiencing another significant transition and needed time to adjust to my new environment, including work, school, family commitments, and health challenges. By applying Meleis’ theory, as outlined by Mary Krahn, I understood that I was in a situational transition, and it was acceptable to take the time to adapt. It was okay not to achieve at the level I expected. I realized I needed to seek assistance and feedback on my performance instead of simply pushing through (2022. p. 21). An article by Zhan et al. indicates that individuals need to identify where to focus within the response mode of Meleis’ transition model (2022. p. 2). I must focus on assignment feedback and adapt my studying habits to meet my academic goals. Therefore, I granted myself permission to take the necessary adjustment time, strategize, and utilize the resources available at Trent to facilitate a smoother transition into this new chapter of my nursing career.

As a nurse, I advocate for my patients’ physical and emotional well-being, but I also had to self-advocate this semester. I grappled with self-doubt and questioned my decision to attend Trent. However, identifying and conquering obstacles is a crucial part of this path, so even now, when I feel overwhelmed and disappointed in my personal or professional life as a nurse, I know I have some of the tools and people surrounding me necessary to triumph. After much reflection, I recognized that I am precisely where I need to be and can achieve my BScN! Although the road may not always be easy, self-care, awareness, and reflection are all valuable strategies I can employ when overburdened.

References

Krahn, M. A. (2023, April 24). From college to univeristy: Nursing students’ experience of transition. Retrieved from Western University: https://ir.lib.uwo.ca/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1404&context=oip

Meleis, A. (2010). Transitions Theory: Middle range and situation specific theories in nursing research and practice. San Francisco: Springer Publishing Company.

Zhan, L. H. (2022). Progress in the application of Meleis transition theory in the nursing field. TMR, 1-5.