7.1 Myths and realities of public speaking

From an evolutionary biology perspective, our bodies have developed to respond to stress in advantageous ways. When we needed to run from a bear, hunt a lion, or avoid a snake, our bodies predictably got us prepared with a surge of adrenaline (Burnham & Phelan, 2000). Hunters who didn’t respond well to stress or failed at hunting were less likely to live long enough to reach maturity and reproduce. Thus, we have the successful hunter to thank for our genes.

We can create the perception that speaking in public is like defeating the lion and really get ourselves worked up. Or, we can choose to see it as a natural extension of communication with others. Speaking in public itself is not inherently stressful, but our response to the stimulus can contribute to or reduce our level of stress. We all will have a stress response to a new, unknown, or unfamiliar stimulus. Nevertheless, the butterflies in our stomach are a response we can choose to control by becoming more familiar with the expectations, preparation, and performance associated with speaking in public.

You don’t have to be perfect

Letting go of perfection can be the hardest guideline to apply to ourselves. It’s also in our nature to compare ourselves to others. You might forgive a classmate for the occasional “umm” during a speech, but then turn right around and spend a lot of mental effort chastising yourself for making the same error in your presentation. We all have distinct strengths and weaknesses. Knowing yourself and where you need to improve is an important first step. Recognizing that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and that you won’t become a world-class speaker overnight, may be easier said than done.

It may help to recognize that your listeners don’t want to see you fail; on the contrary, they want you to do well because when you do, they will be able to relax, enjoy, and understand your presentation. You might be surprised to know that not everyone counts each time you say “umm.” However, if you do tend to say “umm,” “ahhh,” or other filler phrases repeatedly, they can distract your audience from your message. One way to find out whether you use filler phrases is to record yourself presenting and then watch it. You might be surprised to find out you’re unconsciously saying something over and over–or that you only said twice what you thought you’d repeated a hundred times! Once you are aware of your tendency to use filler phrases, eliminating them can become a goal for improvement. Improvement is a process, not an end in itself; in fact, many people believe that learning to speak in public is more about the journey than the destination. Each new setting, context, and audience will present new challenges, and your ability to adapt, learned through your journey of experience, will help you successfully meet each new challenge.

Watching a recording of yourself presenting can also be informative for other reasons. It can help you pick up on your body language cues that might be distracting for your audience. For example, you might see if you sway or rock; avoid eye contact with the audience; wring or rub your hands repeatedly; or fiddle with papers, pens, or other objects in your hands. You might also see if you speak only to one or two people in the audience, and you might also hear if you speak too quickly or softly. Many of these habits are often carried out unconsciously because of nervousness. Once you’re aware of doing these things, you can work to eliminate them. But how do you stop, for example, swaying or twirling your cue cards if you don’t even realize you’re doing it? Preparation and practice are key.

Here are some techniques to try:

• If you are swaying or rocking out of nervousness, trying to stand perfectly still might be incredibly difficult. Instead, consider turning that swaying or rocking into a gentle pacing.
• If you wring or rub your hands, you can instead try gesturing as you speak.
• If you fiddle with any objects that are in your hands, then make sure you present with empty hands! For example, if you don’t have papers in your hand, you won’t be able to twirl them, and if you don’t have a pen in your hands, you won’t be able to click it open and closed.
• If you find you’re having difficulty maintaining eye contact with the audience, try looking between people in the audience, cycling between 3 or 4 different areas. While you still may not be making eye contact with anybody, you will at least be looking out at the entire audience rather than at your feet, your notes, or at the wall at the back of the room.
• If you find you’re presenting to just one or two people in the audience, you can try practicing looking in a “Z” gaze at the audience. Look first at the back left corner, then the back right, move to the front left, and then the right front. You can then move in reverse or start back at the beginning.
• If you’re speaking too quickly or too softly, try practicing some vocal exercises, such as some of those described by Julian Treasure in his 2013 Ted Talk. Vocal exercises can help reduce your nervousness and improve your voice control, making it easier for your audience to understand your message.

Organization is key to success

Have you ever thought of a great comeback to something someone said a while after they said it? Wouldn’t it have been nice to be quick and articulate and able to deliver your comeback right then and there? Speaking in public gives you a distinct advantage over “off the cuff” improvisation and stumbling for the right comeback. You get to prepare and be organized. You know you’ll be speaking to an audience in order to persuade them to do, think, or consider an idea or action.

What issues might they think of while you are speaking? What comebacks or arguments might they say if it were a debate? You get to anticipate what the audience will want to know, say, or hear. You get to prepare your statements and visual aids to support your speech and create the timing, organization, and presentation of each point. Many times in life we are asked to take a position and feel unprepared to respond. Speaking in public gives you the distinct opportunity to prepare and organize your ideas or points in order to make an impact and respond effectively.

Speaking in public is like participating in a conversation

This may sound odd at first, but consider the idea of an “enlarged conversation” described by Julia Wood (2001). She expresses a clear connection between everyday speech and public dialogue. Sometimes we take a speech turn, while at other times we remain silent while others take their turn. We do this all day long and think nothing of it. We are often the focus of attention from friends and colleagues, and it hardly ever makes us nervous. When we get on a stage, however, some people perceive that the whole game has changed. It hasn’t. We still take turns, and the speaker will take a longer turn as part of an enlarged conversation. People in the audience will still communicate feedback and the speaker will still negotiate their turn just the way they would in an everyday conversation. The difference is all about how we, as the speaker, perceive the context.

Some people feel that the level of expectations, the need for perfection, or the idealistic qualities we perceive in eloquent speakers are required, and then focus on deficiencies, fears, and the possibility of failing to measure up. By letting go of this ideal, we can approach the challenge with a more pragmatic frame of mind. The rules we play comfortably by in conversation every day are the same as we shift to a larger conversation within the context of public speaking. This viewpoint can offer an alternative as you address your apprehensions and can help you let go of unrealistic expectations.