My Past: My 1LD0 Experience
Some of my most impactful and transformative experiences in this past year have been from groupwork in various classes. My two leadership journals that I wrote reflect on two group work experiences I had and what I learned about myself from them. The workshop reflection that resonated with me the most and have shaped my view on leadership was the Leadership Reflection and Vision assignment.
~ Leadership Journal Learnings ~
Both of my leadership journals that I wrote over the course of the term were based on difficult groupwork experiences that I had, where I took on the position as leader and was dealing with unmotivated group members.
I frequently take on leadership positions because I usually anticipate discrepancies and free-rider situations in group work. I am so accustomed to it happening every time I have had group work in the past. When faced with challenges such as these, I am always reminded of my resilience to adversity, no matter what the kind. Somehow, I am always picking myself back up again and continue to keep trying even when I no longer feel any motivation to. This experience deepened my understanding of how leadership truly is shaped about the dynamics within a group, and how important it is to establish trust and responsibility early on. This has changed my personal approach to leadership, as I usually am a more participative style leader, where the group members play a part in decision making. I now know that I should change my style of leadership more frequently depending on the group.
Both of the experiences were frustrating, but provided me with important lessons about communication and managing group dynamics in challenging situations. I’ve learned to have a more structured approach to leadership, and later on adjust my style to other types that may help depending on the situation. Overall, I have come to the conclusion that depending on what situation I am facing, I will change how I lead, combining my personal behaviours and the situation in order to do what needs to be done. I can apply what I have learned from this experience to the future to improve my skills. I will continue to have confidence in myself and my leadership, and keep an open mind, while expecting the unexpected.
~ Workshop Reflection Learnings ~
From my 1:1 Leadership Session, after reflection and discussion I would say that my leadership vision is to be a leader with integrity, humility, authenticity, adaptability, as well as creativity and resilience. During the session, we discussed the traits that I associate with good leaders and analyzed why I feel that these traits are associated with a leader. We also discussed themes like intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, my values, and conflict management style. A topic that came up also was the idea of how I handle failure and changes, and what role I play in a group setting. This experience led me to analyze myself compared to what I look up to as a good leader.
These values that I have mentioned are values that I view highly in people in general as well as leaders. I believe these qualities are important because they are foundational for trust and respect within a team. Having a leader with integrity, someone who is truthful and has strong morals and values is key for decisions to be made fairly and honestly, and also creates trust within groups. I value honesty; it is one of the most important principles I uphold to myself, because of the way insincerity has affected me in the past. Authenticity is important for building connections within groups, allowing others to see a leader as someone who is genuine and an equal. Adaptability and resilience are critical for leadership, as a leader should be able to navigate difficulties, not necessarily meaning that they will always succeed, but they will always try their best and not give up on anyone. These qualities resonate with me because they align with my core values. When I think of people I admire, these traits are present. This experience made me realize where my own leadership capabilities are hindered, particularly with adaptability at times and managing failure. I would say my leadership is aligned with my personal definition of a leader, but there are things I need to work on. I had realization of how much pressure I put on myself and why I do this. I have a hard time with failure because of a fear of disappointing others as well as myself, and I often take on more work than I should out of anxiety for work not getting done on time. I know I struggle with adaptability; I am able to adapt, but I have a hard time with dealing with change. I like predictability and routine. While I do enjoy spontaneity, it’s hard for me to adapt when I feel that I am unknowledgeable in something and am forced to act upon it.
Overall, I learned that good leadership is not about perfection, but striving for growth and balance. I need to work on accepting that perfection is not realistic, and succeeding involves errors and misjudgments along the way. An encouraging thought that came to me is how my leadership vision is realistic to achieve through growth and experience. I see opportunity for me to improve my adaptability in uncertain scenarios by purposely seeking out opportunities that require quick thinking and decision making. I can also work on my own mental view of failure. It is much easier to say than do, but I intend to work on accepting failure better. I will work on viewing failure as an opportunity to grow as a leader and become more resilient. Reflection on myself and my leadership vision will help me grow as a leader and become a better person.
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