Chapter 6: Self-Regulation and Relationships
ECE5J Course Learning Outcome
- Examine the goodness of fit between child and adult.
When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not to join their chaos.
– L.R. Knost
Children are developing their self-regulation skills throughout their early childhood years.
In these formative years, children need to feel safe; they need to know that we will accept their emotions and that we will support them to return to calm.
Educators can play an important role in supporting self-regulation by providing environments that reduce stressors while recognizing and supporting children’s efforts and increasing their ability to self-regulate. Educators can also support children’s developing ability to self-regulate by being responsive and attuned to children’s individual cues, arousal states, and responses to various stressors (Ontario Ministry of Education, 2014, p. 30).
Sensitive and responsive caregivers co-regulate with young children to support the development of self-regulation. Children need us to co-regulate with them until they can start to recognize when they are stressed and when they need a break or help to return to calm.
Read, Reflect & Reimagine
Read the article titled Am I Co-escalating or Co-regulating
Co-regulation
When we co-regulate, children need us to provide a sense of calm, to be calm in our interactions, and to ensure the child feels safe. Sometimes, we may feel our stress levels rising, and we must take a moment to pause before we respond. This could be something as simple as counting to 10 yourself before responding. When we take a moment to return to calm, we contribute to the calm rather than the chaos. We also model our self-regulation strategies through coregulation with the child.
Educators can also support children’s self-regulating ability by being responsive and attuned to children’s individual cues, arousal states, and responses to various stressors. They can help children learn strategies for becoming or staying calm and focused by enabling them to recognize and modulate their emotional states and impulses and become more aware of the effects of their actions on others (Ontario Ministry of Education, 2014, p. 30).
Our role in the development of self-regulation in young children is fundamental. We are growing self-regulation from external guidance to internal balance.
Listen to the podcast: Marie Poss, Kristy Timmons & Lorraine Purgret: Conceptualizing #SelfReg in Early Care and Education.
Read, Reflect & Reimagine
Read the article titled The Power of Coregulation.
The Regulating Teaching Style
A regulating teacher reframes behaviour, tries to discover the stressors and how to reduce them, and models calming or self-regulating strategies.
- How does one become a self-regulating teacher?
An important step towards embracing the regulating teaching style is to reflect on your current teaching style.
- What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror?
- Can you see the teaching style children see, co-workers see, and families see?
Growing Activity
Your task is to create a list of 10 prompting questions for self-reflection.
Context: This is an opportunity to reflect on what regulating teaching looks like as a teaching style. Consider what it means to co-regulate and to contribute to the calm rather than the chaos in the classroom. Additionally, consider your relationship with the child and the child’s family. Use this information to help create questions for self-reflection and to prompt you to examine your own regulating teaching style.
Examples:
- What is my body language communicating to the child?
- How do I feel about the child at the end of the day? Are my thoughts positive or negative?
- Am I modelling my own strategies for positive health and well-being?
Activity Text
Create a list of 10 prompting questions to ask yourself.
