Special Occasion Speeches: Toasts and Tributes

Special Occasion Speeches

Here’s to those that love us!
And for those that do not love us,
may God turn their hearts.
And if he cannot turn their hearts,
may he turn their ankles;
so that we may know them,
by their limping.
— Irish Blessing/Curse

Cheers, slainte, skal, prost, and salud! A toast speech is a type of tribute speech meant to honor someone. Your goal as a speaker should be to make that person feel special and to allow others in the room to be included in the celebration.

Ceremonial Speaking Wheel

All ceremonial speeches should include the trio –narration, magnification, and identification.

Identification: Make everyone feel included

When thinking about your tribute or toast, don’t just think about who or what you are celebrating. Think about everyone in the room and think about how to bring them into your speech.  Saying “we” are here to honor the person (event, or thing) and reminding the audience of shared values helps the audience to be a part of the process.  Say things that invite the audience in several times throughout the speech.

Wedding Toast
Instead of saying:  Amy and I played Barbie as children and always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate.
Say: As many of you know, Amy and I played Barbie for hours as children.  What you may not know is we always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate.

———-

Graduation Toast
Instead of saying: I wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career.
Say: We here, your family and friends, all wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career

———-

Retirement Toast
Instead of saying: Dad, I was so happy you let me come and play in your office even if I ran your stapler out of staples by shooting them at the invisible villains that were hiding under your desk.
Say: As many of you here now, dad would sometimes let me come to work with him.  And while most of you thought that I was the perfect little bosses’ kids, you may not have known that I was really a super hero executing the invisible villain that I found in dads desk. I killed it with all the staples from dad’s stapler.

Notice how this speaker invites all listeners to be part of the memorial.

I stand here today to pay tribute to the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building Bombing Memorial in Oklahoma City.

This memorial represents the honor and strength as well as all the pain of every person who remembers that historical day.

It has helped an immense number of people to cope with this national tragedy

It is a place of reflection, emotion,  and healing.

In this excerpt, Drew speaks to all those who are present at the Doolittle Raider reunion  (A reunion of men who in 1942 led the first attack after the bombing of Pearl Harbor)

Each of us in this room has our own memories of growing up with these men and the reasons why they are so special to us.  For these men, it is an everyday occurrence that someone thanks them for their service to their country and what they did 65 years ago.  So today is my pleasure to share with you the reason why these men are my heroes and why one of them impractically means the world to me.

I hope each of you will always remember the little things these men have done for you.  L.M. Heroux once said “heroism is not just pulling a child from a burning house or a driver from an icy river or a kitten from a tall tree.  Heroism is also holding the door for a frail elderly and driving courteously and cooperatively and listening with an attentive heart to a friend’s words.  Small daily acts of love are as heroic as big once-in-a-lifetime acts of rescue.”

In this tribute to his teacher, “the greatest swing pusher” Hosea Born reminds the group of a common thing, finding your name on the desk.

Walking into a new teacher’s classroom is terrifying. We have all been there. You remember. Finding your desk with your name on it. My name tag was an apple. Tribute to the best swing pusher.

Narration: Tell Stories that celebrate rather than inform

The use of story helps the audience to be drawn in and want to listen. In short toasts, you can tell a series of one-sentence stories. In larger toasts or tributes, you can tell one long story or numerous little stories. Tell your story in a way that the audience relives the moment with you.

Describe the situation or person in vivid detail so we can see the person you’re celebrating in their element.  Jeremy Stuthard gave a tribute to his Grandma and said they were “Two peas in a pod.” Notice how in one sentence you get a sense of grandma’s humor and personality. from only one line, “I remember when you dumped a whole bucket of water on me, to wake me up, just to have me help you with your TV.” In another example, Patience Beard describes cooking with her grandma, “Nana ALWAYS let me lick the spoon. We would make icing all from scratch she would turn that mixer on and it would never fail– icing would fly everywhere and her laugh …….would echo through the whole room.” In each example, you can “see” the interaction in your mind. The speaker didn’t tell you that his grandma was a trickster, he showed you that. Patience didn’t tell you her grandma cooked for her, she “showed” you that she did.

People in the audience may not know the person you are celebrating. Resist the temptation to give an informative speech about your person, that is the equivalent of reading someone’s Wikipedia biography–boring. Instead, pick a few things about them to celebrate.

In this tribute to his hometown dirt roads, Nathan Brock’s speech is a good example. He tells us the facts without sounding like an informative speech, I kept this sample in a manuscript format so you could see the emphasis and the rhythm. When you see /// it means to pause.

So, here’s to you, dirt roads

the defining feature of my hometown.

Here’s to you, dirt roads,  ///  the place of my upbringing in middle-of-nowhere America.

Pawnee, Oklahoma is a town with many dirt roads

A town with a population of 2,136//

It felt like less.

When Googling “living in Pawnee, Oklahoma” one can find a list of pros and cons

Pros include “cost-of-living”

Cons include “unattractive setting”

That is where you came in, dirt roads.

Magnification: Teach lessons in the small things.

Take a trait of the individual and magnify it. This is NOT superfluous embellishment; this should be honest elaboration. For example, you might talk about

• Triumph over obstacles
• Unusual accomplishment
• Superior performance
• Unselfish motive
• Benefit to society
• The greatness of a simple thing

Caitlyn Steiner wrote a tribute speech about the love her grandparent have for each other. Notice how she uses the little things to demonstrate love.

Love appreciates the smallest details the most. My grandpa still puts the toothpaste on both their toothbrushes every morning. My grandma still hangs a towel on the rack for my grandpa every day after he gets in the shower. And they still slow dance together every night in the living room before they go to bed.

In this example, Fawn Kurtzo gives a birthday tribute to her brother Buck. As you read this manuscript excerpt, I want to draw your attention to the fact that each line is a story for those who know him.

We are gathered here today to celebrate another year in the life of Buck.

Congratulations Buck? Who am I kidding, CONGRATULATIONS US!

We all survived another year of

10,000 questions why,

mental duels,

being outshot with bullets and arrows,

countless times of side-splitting laughs as he carried the life of the party //

begin terribly humiliated in a game of dominoes //

and just flat being outlasted by this kid!

In tribute speeches, the little things are often the big things. A simple story can reveal something deeper. In this speech, Brittany Brunson is telling the story about riding in her dad’s lap, but really it is a metaphor for their relationship. I kept this in manuscript form so you couldn’t get a feel for how she intended it to be heard.

I don’t remember much from the age of 7//

But I do remember getting to sit on my dad’s lap and driving down the alley.

I couldn’t reach the pedals // so my dad was in charge of those//

Although I thought I was in charge of the wheel//

My dad had ultimate control because if I ever got to close to the wall of the alleyway //

my dad would steer me right back to the center.

Ironically, I never got in big trouble growing up

// except for maybe prank calling the police one time…………. but anyways//

I never got in big trouble growing up because if I ever got close to that barrier of bad choices /// my dad //steered me right back to the center.

Although I thought I had control of the wheel of my life

ultimately my dad guided me on to the right path //

that led me to hold myself to a higher standard // and stand firm in my beliefs.

Tributes and Toasts

Special occasion speeches (Toasts or Tributes) are celebratory speeches that honors a person, a monument, a holiday, or an event.  Always adapt your speech to the occasion: Wedding, graduation, retirement, business celebration, award celebration, birthday.

Gather all the information

• Who is the audience?
• Are there other speakers?
• What is the time limit?
• Is this formal or informal?
• Will there be a podium? microphone?

You will give a different speech to your old college roommate on his birthday if it is just you and the gang versus if his conservative parents are in the room. It will be an even different speech if his new employer is present.  Remember, a toast is not just about the person being celebrated but it is about others in the room.  As you write your speech, keep imagining the key people present at the event.

Brainstorm

Sit down and just start jotting ideas.  Think of your brain as a water faucet. You are not going to get any water until you turn the thing on. Many people complain they can’t think of ideas, but they never actually turn on the idea faucet. Think of brainstorming as turning those ideas on and getting your creative juices flowing. Start brainstorming ideas and memories one day and then give it a day or two to think about more memories.

• What life lessons did they teach you? How are you different because of this person?
• What are their best qualities? Tell a story about that quality
• What three words best describe this person?
• What makes this person so great?
• What is the funniest thing that you remember?
• What are some sayings—one-liners—they are known for?
• What is something simple that they do that demonstrates their character?
• What is unique about her lifestyle or behavior?
• What is a special gift that they gave you and why is it so special?
• What adventure have you shared with this person?
• What’s a story that everyone tells about this person?
• What helpful advice has this person given you?
• Look through a photo album—what one or two pictures tell about them ?

A toast or a tribute to a person typically includes one of these items:

• Small descriptions so we can “see” the person in their element.
• Stories of their deeds.
• Stories of how the person affected others.
• Funny or emotional moments.
• The legacy that person is leaving.

Tributes to occasions can be any of the following:

• Milestone Birthday, Retirement, Anniversary
• Mother’s day, Father’s Day, Truth and Reconciliation Day
• Race for the Cure, We Day
• Family reunion, School reunion

Tributes to occasions typically include:

• Emphasis on shared values
• Appreciation for the people involved
• Origin and evolution of the event
• Stories of people related to the event
• The larger context surrounding the event

Sit Down and Write

At this point, just get your ideas down. Put down more ideas than you will use.  Allow yourself to write down some ideas that are silly, extreme, or not right for the occasion. Just go with it. Write all those ideas down; maybe you will use this somehow but probably not. Most importantly, the creative ideas are hiding in your brain behind the silly ones and if you don’t get the silly ideas out of the way, you will never get to the next level.

Taking It to The Professional Level

If you want to give your toast the professional edge, try using a theme and then adding in some parallel construction. In this next section, I will show you how that works.

Use a Theme

Pick a theme for your toast and carry it throughout the whole toast or tribute.  A theme is the container that holds the speech together.

For example, Drew gave a best man speech and used the theme of a road trip. He told stories of him and his best friend and their adventures (at least the adventures you the ones that you can tell when mom is in the room). He talked about fighting over which music is played, he told stories about bathroom breaks, and he confessed that his friend was always getting lost. These were fun stories and by hearing them we could all imagine the friendship they shared. In his speech, he told us that whoever was in the passenger seat was called the “roundtrip captain.” He gave the new bride advice on how to navigate the relationship since he knew so much about his friend from all these road trips. The speech wrapped up with Drew telling the bride that she was the map reader now and he passed to her the title of “road trip captain.”

Erin gave a graduation toast to her family members who supported her through college. She used the theme of climbing hills. It was the perfect theme since the University of Arkansas campus that she graduated from seems to be arranged so everything is uphill–both ways.  She talked about walking the hills both physically and symbolically. In her speech, she talked about how beautiful the view is from the top. She wrapped up her speech by saying now that she is graduated how she has new hills to climb.

Keep in mind the theme is just the container.  If you have only a container, it will seem cliché and sound like a cheap greeting card. The theme is not the speech, it is the container that holds your many stories.  Make sure to develop those stories.

Use Parallel Construction

Parallel construction is where you take one sentence and you repeat it. It lets you tell a lot of little stories in a short period.  Always have at least 3 sentences, keep them together, and try to give them rhythm.

Consider this format and how it might be used for the different toast types.

At a Wedding Toast

I remember when ___
I remember when ___
I remember when ___

I knew you were the “one” because…
I knew you were the “one” because…
I knew you were the “one” because…

At a Retirement Toast

Many of you know dad for selling insurance, but I know dad for selling me on the idea to go to college
Many of you know dad for working long hours at the office, but I know dad for working long hours on school projects that I only mentioned to him the night before they were due.
Many of you know dad as a business profession, but I know dad as my super hero.

Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for ….
Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for ….
Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for ….

Toast Patterns

When picking a speech pattern for the toast, consider the audience and occasion. Many toasts are just one to two minutes while others can be five to seven minutes.

Short Toasts Pattern

1. Let us raise our glass to… Today, I would like to recognize…
2. Make a list of attributes/accomplishments of the person.
   With each statement there is a building sensation –each statement you make is better than the next.
3.  Build to a climax. Create a building sensation using parallel construction.
4. Raise your glass near the end.
5. End with a poem, quote, or wish them well. (I really think a well-chosen quote makes these speeches special…it is worth the time to look for one to make it really special)

Note: Typically short toasts are memorized and longer toasts are written as a manuscript.

Wedding Toasts Possible Patterns

Give Their New Spouse the Manual of How to Get Along with Them

1. Tell a story or two about your friendship with your friend
2. Tell a story about when your friend met the person they are marrying. What did they say about this person? What were your first impressions? Tell anything about the two of them together? What are they like as a couple? How do you know they are right for each other? Tell something you observe about them when they are together?
3. Give the person advice on how to navigate life with your friend since you know them so well. Think of this as passing on the manual.

Three Stories

Tell three stories about the couple.

• Maybe, how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Maybe, three ways you know they are in love.
• Maybe, three things you noticed about how they care for each other.

I Knew It Was Love…

• Tell five ways that you knew it was love. Tell a story attached to each of the ways
• Tell what your friend was like before and how they are better now than they are with the one they love.

Note: Never mention old girlfriend/boyfriends, never give away secrets to clueless family members (they are living together, that you and your friend snuck out in high school), and always keep it positive. You likely have inside information about the person you are toasting–their wedding is not the time to reveal it. 

Retirement Toast Possible Patterns

If you are a work colleague of the person retiring:

• These are the three things that set this person apart.
• These are the three things that I learned from this person.

If you are the child or the spouse of the person retiring:

• Talk about what their career looked like from your position. How were they dedicated?
• How did it help you benefit from their job and friends? What did you learn from watching them work?

Note: It can be fun to use their job as the theme. For example, if the person is a coach make the whole speech in the theme of a game. If the person is in sales, use marketing terms to hold it together. If they collected something interesting that was displayed in the office, it lends itself to the theme.

Graduation Toast Possible Patterns

Looking back, looking ahead

• Tell a few stories about them before graduation and tell what you expect to see in the future.

We’ve come through a lot together, Here’s some advice for your next step.

• Tell stories of your relationship, how that relationship talks about character attributes that led them to graduate.
• Give advice on how to navigate the next step.

Top Ten List

• Ten things you need to know about (surviving college, having your first real job, etc.).
• This can be especially fun coming from the sibling that is in college to the one headed to college.
• Top ten things you learned in school that you can use in life.
• Top ten things about you that will make you successful.

Let Us Not Forget

• A series of memories that you and most of the group present share. Great for a group of friends
• Find some great meaning to it all. What did it all mean? what did you learn?

Note: It can be fun to use their major, their future job, or their hobbies as the theme. 

Anniversary Toast Patterns

Three Stories

• Tell three stories about the couple.
• Maybe how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Maybe, three ways you know they are in love.

I Knew It Was Love…

• Tell five ways that you knew it was love and tell a story attached to each of the ways.
  Interview five of their friends and tell the five stories from their friends about love.

How They Taught You What Love Is

• What have you learned by watching them love each other well?

A Biography of Love

• Tell a story about their love when they met when they overcame when they did things together.
• Tell a timeline of love events and stories about every major milestone.

Ending a Toast Speech

Typically, a toast speech ends with a thoughtful saying, witty quote, or poem.  There are many toast websites with great one-liners or short poems you can use to end a toast. If it is a longer toast, consider using a theme and connecting the ending with the theme.

“May misfortunes chase you all of your life and never catch up.”

“As you slide down the banister of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.”

Short, Short Toasts

There may be times you are called to give a quick, one to three-sentence toast. It is a good idea to have a few memorized quotes ready that can be woven into a short, short toast.

Here is to those who’ve seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can’t tell the difference.

May you live for as long as you want, and never want for as long as you live!

May we get what we want, but never what we deserve.

May you always lie, cheat, and steal. Lie beside the one you love, cheat the devil, and steal away from bad company.

Here’s to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same.

Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast.

Tell Stories

In this tribute speech to her father, she tells a story of how a Jewish man and a Muslim man can transcend boundaries and become friends.

Watch A tribute to my father (9 mins) on YouTube

Tribute Speech at We Day

Watch Inspirational Native American Frank Waln tells his story at WE Day! (3 mins) on YouTube

We Day was an annual series of stadium-sized youth empowerment events organized by We Charity, a Canadian charity founded by brothers Marc and Craig Kielburger. WE Day events host tens of thousands of students and celebrate the effect they have made on local and global issues.

Source: WE Movement. (2017, April 21). Inspirational Native American Frank Waln tells his story at WE Day! [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/-2SE-19WqS8

Watch A tribute to all healthcare workers (4 mins) on YouTube

Tribute to Famous Person

When giving a tribute to a famous person that you do not know personally, it is important to resist giving a biographical speech. Instead, you should talk about how that person influenced you in some way. The story of them becomes the story of you and them.

In his tribute to Stan Lee, David Lester wrote,

One of my earliest experiences with his work, is through his comics. When my mom would take forever shopping in Walmart, I would fly to the magazine section find those comic books and my time——– just——— evaporated.

Later he mentions the relationship again

 The first Marvel movie I remember seeing saw was IRON MAN. I remember seeing Robert Downey Jr. beat up terrorists and change the way we see superheroes, not as just statues but as complex people like us.

In his conclusion, he brings it around to impact on all of us

BUT Do you wanna know who Stan thought the real superheroes were? It’s not the ones we talk about all the time. It’s not the ones that are played by Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, and Chris Hemsworth. NO!  It’s us,  the fans. We were the heroes all along. Looking out for each other. Supporting people around us who needed it the most. Protecting others from harm.  Standing as examples for our community for what we can become. Doing more than the average man would do.  That one person can make a difference. That you don’t need a cape just to be a hero.  He brought us together. He did all of this.

Attribution & References

Except where otherwise noted, this chapter is adapted from “Toast Speech” and “Tribute Speech: Celebrate the Occasion, the Person, or the Monument” In Advanced Public Speaking by Lynn Meade, licensed under CC BY 4.0.

References

Atlasobscura. Raise a glass to our readers’ favorite drinking toasts. https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/best-drinking-toasts-and-cheers

Burlingame, J.  Best man toast. Advanced Public Speaking. University of Arkansas.

Chidi-Ogbonna, K. (2018). Nine wine etiquette habits to know. https://thefinestitallianwine.com

Lester, D. Tribute to Stan Lee. University of Arkansas Advanced Public Speaking.

Real Simple (n.d.). From how to hold a wine glass.  http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/content/0,21770,712709,00.html

Wineintro. (2008). Clinking of wine glasses and toasts.  http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html