The first landmark: Trailhead

I sometimes find myself looking for every little excuse to not do the things I know I am supposed to be doing. I have a grand idea in my head that I want to accomplish, but things may not be aligning just so, and it becomes a mess in my head – I want it to be perfect, but it is not, and that feels like failure.

And so, I procrastinate.

My motivation to accomplish things breaks down and I can hear myself going down the rabbit-hole of:

“Why bother?”

“This is not what you even want to showcase.”

“You won’t be able to really show what you got.”

And then I slip. I push it off until I can no longer wait, and then rush through a slap-dash version that is so far from my original intention. But it passes, I am not penalized, and so I know I can cobble something together. The cycle continues.

However, the result is days of living in the self-induced stress of, “why can’t it be perfect?”

In the times that I have broken this cycle, I always feel better for it. What I am putting out there into the world is much closer to my original, optimized vision than the haphazard patchwork I would create otherwise. I am happy with my efforts and not disappointed in myself. I know how capable I can be. There is such an alleviation of stress attached to this; my confidence is boosted, and I can go forward proud of what I have accomplished.

I want to combat my procrastination; battle the state of mind I fall into. I know I can do great things and accomplish what I set my mind to – I just need to actually do it.

The expectation here is that I will be able to break down the “mountain” of work that can accumulate quickly within a semester, and more efficiently (and effectively) manage my time, leading to a decrease in procrastination, and an increase in the quality of work I am able to put out towards my education.

By working towards a decrease in procrastination, I am hoping to achieve a better mental status, a more future-oriented outlook, and an ability to build time-management skills that will help me to achieve my longer-term goal of success in the Trent/Fleming School of Nursing and to an eventual future in the nursing profession. Researchers Sirois & Pychyl conducted an analysis in 2013, of various studies linking the effects of procrastination and mood regulation. They found that tasks perceived as challenging increased both reactive and judgemental thoughts which led to internal criticism, frustration, and impulsive decisions to abandon tasks (p.119). This aligns with my own personal tendency to avoid a task (like beginning an essay) because it feels daunting and like I would be unable to fully flesh out my thoughts and put them on paper in a way that adequately evokes the feelings that I have going into it. The “perfectionist” in me constructs the perceived challenge that Sirois & Pychyl describe, leading to procrastination, and to perceived frustration and stress; all pushing me further from starting. It can be an endless loop. By breaking my habit and completing the small tasks making up the whole, I would be creating a less challenging task which would decrease the likelihood of procrastination and associated frustration – effectively turning that “mountain” into a bump on the trail, easily overcome.

The eventual downstream effects of accomplishing this goal would be to ingrain better time-management skills as my procrastination dwindles. Looking forwards towards graduation and a career in nursing and healthcare, time management is a crucial aspect for both. A study conducted by Behdarvand et al. (2023) provided insight to the connection between time-management in nursing students, with clinical competency and success. They found that there were significant positive correlations between students’ clinical competency and their time management, additionally showing the strongest contributing factor when compared to other variables (p.6). This provides evidence that time-management may heavily influence one’s success in clinical studies, translating further into clinical practice as a nurse. At the end of the day, I am aiming to do my best to provide the care people need, in a cohesive and timely manner.

To me procrastination is like reading the stats on a hike’s trailhead. The numbers seem big, there is a large time commitment, and you have not even started walking yet. Taking that first step, then the next, and then the one after that is the beginning of a journey that will bring you to your destination. Imagining the path ahead is not going to get you there, but the effort of going one step at a time will.

The second landmark: The viewpoint

In my lifetime, I have lived through a constant flow of changing lifestyles and an evolving state of being.

For over a decade, I have worked seasonally as an expedition kayak guide bringing people into the wilderness and embracing all that nature had in store. My summer months were spent constantly on my toes, moving from task to task for hours at a time in rough terrain and (sometimes) poor conditions. My winters too. They embraced active exploration of the world, moving through cities, trekking through mountain passes, and jumping around from one place to another.

 And then, I lived through a pandemic. With changing regulations as the world shut down around me, I adopted a very sedentary lifestyle – a full 180 degree turn from where I was.

The shift I was able to see in my own personal state of being was immense. I felt lost, unhinged from my norms, and at odds with my self-concept. It was only upon bringing back some form of physical activity that I was able to reconcile with the feelings I had surrounding this time in my life. I was able to provide structure to my day, my confidence was able to soar, and I was sleeping better than ever.

I keyed into the realization that to me, physical activity is an important and crucial aspect to my mental health, self-concept, and balance in my life.

The expectation for my goal here, is that I will be able to maintain a level of physical wellness that contributes to my mental well-being and influences a daily pattern that will aid in maintaining balance for other aspects of my life outside of school.

By ensuring that I am participating in some form of physical activity through the week, I am setting myself up for healthy habits that would follow me into the future (ie. Physical wellness), and I would be sneakily incorporating hobbies that bring me joy (specifically, hiking, rock climbing, water sports, yoga etc.). My hope is that the joy I find in movement will bring me mental clarity to support my academic and professional goals for a future in healthcare.

Physical activity has been shown by many studies to promote positive mental health. For example, researchers Feng, Hui, & Guo (2024) conducted a questionnaire-based study to investigate students’ participation in physical activities and their perceived mental wellness in a randomized sample population. The results of the study highlighted a “significant positive correlation between physical exercise and mental health” (Feng, Hui, & Guo, 2024, p.6). The described positive correlation suggests that with an increase in physical activity, the status of one’s mental health also increases – exactly what I am hoping to accomplish with my current goal. The effects of physical activity on mental health are further supported by a 2023 study conducted by Li & Zhang, who comparatively analyzed students’ physical activity levels against their circadian rhythms, and prevalence of mental health disorders. Results showed statistically significant relationships when comparing physical activity to disruptions in circadian rhythm, and to mental health disorders; more physical activity related to better sleep patterns, and an alleviation of some anxiety and depression (Li & Zhang, 2023, p.5). This supports my desire to pursue a consistently held active lifestyle built by my goal for weekly activity – this aim of increased mental clarity supported by literature.

With added physical activity, I would also be adding hobbies I know I enjoy to my days. The break I would get from academia (and later, work) would be ideal in making sure I retain a work-life balance. The ideas I have about work-life balance here are subjective to my own interpretation of success. Work-life balance has been shown to positively moderate subjective career commitment and success  according to a 2016 study conducted by Najam, Burki, & Khalid (p.8-9). This relationship of increased subjective success with increased work-life balance is encouraging, and further supports my desire to achieve the goal I have set for more weekly activity.

Having bolstered mental health and an avenue to create balance in my life would lead to my own personal success in my time spent at the Trent/Fleming School of Nursing and within the field of healthcare. Both skills would encourage me to be at my best to provide the compassionate, comprehensive, and holistic care to those in my charge.

The view is beautiful from the top, and worth every effort in getting there.