2.1: Building Empathic Relationships with Clients

The initiation process is, in essence, a helping interview set within the context of a career intervention process. In a helping interview, the focus is on the client’s wants and on providing assistance.

Lana’s story highlights the most critical need when we meet a client for the first time. We need to connect and build an empathic relationship. We must appreciate that Lana wasn’t keen to come in and meet with a career professional at an agency. There was hesitation. She was unsure what the benefit would be. Hence, the most important thing for us to do when we meet with a new client is to create a safe and trusting environment. We must build a vessel that allows the client to feel safe and heard. All our efforts and energy need to be directed toward this primary goal of creating a safe, trusting, welcoming space for clients to come into and be fully present and share what is happening within their lives.

In reviewing Lana’s story, you’ll recognize that these outcomes were achieved and that being heard was unique for her. What typically happens when people struggle with careers and start sharing with friends, coworkers, and family is that everyone around them gives an opinion. It is rare in our society for a person to be thoroughly listened to. The most common feedback I have received throughout decades of career conversations is that people appreciate being heard. To be listened to, sadly, is a rare experience.

Ensuring healthy boundaries is an essential platform from which to move forward. This is a part of building a relationship. Lana and I defined the boundaries of the relationship. We also discussed confidentiality. However, the primary focus of the initial meeting is to ask questions and hear what the individual says.

Creating a Safe Environment

Creating a safe and trusting environment is crucial before starting the storytelling or listening process. Here are several strategies to achieve this:

1. Establish clear boundaries and expectations: Begin by explaining the purpose of the meeting and what the client can expect. Clarify the boundaries of confidentiality and the extent to which the information shared will be used.
2. Demonstrate empathy and understanding: Show genuine concern for the client’s feelings and experiences. Use empathetic language and body language to convey understanding and support.
3. Create a comfortable physical space: Ensure the meeting space is private, quiet, and free from distractions. Arrange seating to promote a sense of equality and openness.
4. Be non-judgmental and open-minded: Approach the conversation without preconceived notions or judgments. Be open to the client’s perspective and experiences.
5. Encourage openness and honesty: Let the client know that they can speak freely and that their honesty is valued. Reassure them that there are no right or wrong answers.
6. Provide reassurance and support: Offer verbal and non-verbal reassurance that the client is in a safe space. Acknowledge their courage in seeking help and sharing their story.

Active Listening

Active listening involves more than just hearing the words spoken by the client. It requires deep engagement with the speaker’s message and an understanding of their emotions and perspectives. Key components of active listening include:

1. Full attention: Give the client your undivided attention. Avoid distractions and focus entirely on what they are saying.
2. Reflective listening: Paraphrase or summarize the client’s words to show understanding and confirm accuracy. This can involve statements like, “What I hear you saying is…”
3. Empathic responses: Respond empathetically to demonstrate that you understand and share the client’s feelings. Use phrases like, “It sounds like you’re feeling…”
4. Non-verbal cues: Use appropriate body language, such as nodding, maintaining eye contact, and leaning forward, to show that you are engaged and interested.
5. Clarifying questions: Ask open-ended questions to encourage clients to elaborate on their thoughts and feelings. Avoid interrupting or interjecting your own opinions.
6. Silence: Allow for pauses and silences in the conversation. This gives the client time to think and reflect, showing that you are patient and willing to listen.

Build an Empathic Relationship

Building an empathic relationship involves several key steps, which can be based on the microskills model expounded by Ivey (1971). These steps include:

1. Attending behaviour: Demonstrate that you are fully present with the client through appropriate eye contact, body language, and verbal following. This behaviour sets the foundation for a trusting relationship.
2. Open and closed questions: Use a combination of open and closed questions to explore the client’s issues. Open questions encourage detailed responses, while closed questions can help clarify specific points.
3. Paraphrasing: Regularly paraphrase the client’s statements to show understanding and ensure you have accurately captured their message. This helps build trust and rapport.
4. Reflection of feeling: Reflect on the client’s emotions to show empathy and to help them explore their feelings more deeply. This can be done by saying, “You seem really frustrated by this situation.”
5. Summarizing: Periodically summarize the main points of the conversation to reinforce understanding and to provide a sense of closure to different parts of the discussion.
6. Encouraging and validating: Offer verbal encouragement and validation to the client. Acknowledge their efforts and the difficulties that they face. This helps to build a supportive and empathic relationship.

By integrating these steps and principles, you can create a safe and trusting environment, practice active listening, and build a strong empathic relationship with your clients, facilitating more effective and meaningful career interventions.