110 A Teen’s Life in Isolation

When the lockdown was first announced, I thought that it would be a brief closure. I still remember the day when they were announced. I was doing my schoolwork when my mom called me downstairs and showed me the news on CP24, where I first saw the announcement. I remember texting some of my close friends after hearing the news and being excited to get an extra two weeks off of school. It felt like a dream come true, like a bonus holiday. But as the days went by and the lockdown stayed in place, I started to realize that this was going to last much longer than I anticipated. Throughout those days, I mostly slept in, did a few assignments I had missed, and spent the rest of the time playing video games with friends.

But as the lockdown continued, I started to lose track of time. Days were blending into one where I wouldn’t do much apart from lying in bed. It felt like I was just waiting for time to pass. My schedule fell apart, and I stopped keeping up with schoolwork. I was finding it hard to find the dedication and motivation to adhere to a schedule. I ended up sleeping through my early online classes or playing games through classes. Eventually, I realized that this lifestyle was negatively affecting my mental and physical health. I felt bored, fatigued and unmotivated. To improve my health, I decided to incorporate a strict schedule in my life. I woke up at around 8 or 9 AM and then spent time with my family or doing class, depending on the day. After this I’d take a break by going out for a walk. Then I would come home to do my schoolwork and, in the evenings, play games with my friends or just talk to them before heading to bed around 12.   

After a couple months of extending lockdowns I really started to feel the effects of social isolation. I started reflecting on all the changes that had taken place since the start of this: everyone had masks on and social distance became essential; grocery store shelves emptied and an eerie silence filled public spaces. Social interactions became sparse, hanging out with friends, going to a restaurant or even a simple smile from a stranger became a luxury. Even when seeing people during this time, their expressions were hidden behind masks, making interactions feel less personal and more distant. 

The hardest part of the pandemic for me was the isolation. The longer I spent in this lockdown, the more lonely and isolated I felt. I missed having small things to look forward to, like hanging out with friends after class, grabbing food on the way home, or just being around other people in general. Even though I stayed in touch with my friends online through video games and social media, it did not feel like enough. Not being able to talk in person or see their faces in real time made it hard to stay connected in the way we used to. Even during online school, it was a disconnected experience where everyone just had their mics and cameras off, with the teacher talking into the abyss. I missed the sounds and experiences that made up my days before this deafening isolation I was in.

However, one good thing that came out of the experience was learning how to manage myself better. Without a schedule, I felt lazy and unmotivated, but once I made a plan for my day, it gave me a sense of purpose. Waking up at a regular time, taking walks, and setting time aside for schoolwork gave my days some structure. Furthermore, the planning, along with the additional time, allowed me to learn new skills. I spent time every day practicing my art and learning how to play a guitar I bought years ago but never spent the time to commit to it. I also got to spend more time with my family. Before the pandemic, we were usually too busy with our own schedules to properly sit down and talk, but during lockdown, we spent much more time together. We had meals, played games, and watched movies together. It helped us become closer, and I’m thankful for that. Strangely, the pandemic helped me grow by forcing me to figure out how to take care of myself and value the people closest to me more.

One theme from the course that connects to my experience is stigma and blame. In class we discussed how stigma affects HIV patients and I noticed that there was a similar stigma against those who contracted COVID-19. HIV was associated with gay men and even referred to as a “gay disease” leading to discrimination of against the LGBTQ+ community and a lack of urgency in addressing the epidemic early on. These emotions turn into harmful stereotypes, such as the association of HIV with gay men and COVID-19 with Asians. During the pandemic there was the largest stigma towards China. After the first cases in Wuhan people started blaming China for the spread of the virus. I remember seeing posts and memes online blaming the Chinese and the Asian community as a whole. Even famous figures such as Donald Trump contributed to this by referring to COVID-19 as the “Chinese Virus.”  Even outside of the media, I would hear people make everyday comments blaming an entire country and its people for the situation we were all going through. Looking back, I even see instances of people suggesting avoiding Asians for no reason other than fear and false beliefs. Even people I knew said things that made me uncomfortable, and it showed how quickly stigma can spread when people are scared.

Reflecting on it now with what I’ve learned in this class, just as in past outbreaks people blamed each other out of fear and a lack of awareness. People would blame others due to fear which leads to discrimination. This part of the pandemic and this course have shown me how important it is to be aware of how we treat others during a crisis. Blame and stigma don’t help anyone and only make us more divided through a difficult situation.   

If I could have future generations take away lessons from my experience it would be that empathy and awareness go a long way in times of crisis. When isolation and discrimination seek to separate us, it’s important to choose compassion and understanding to bring us together and help us navigate through difficult times.