118 Unmasking my Covid-19 Experience

Anonymous

I was living with my family in Brampton, Ontario, during Covid-19. We had been living at the same house for about 7 years. At the time, my grandparents had just moved into an apartment building across the street. I was always in Brampton, whether I was living with them or at home. When Covid started, I was a young, naïve 15-year-old boy just entering high school in grade 9. My birthday party at Medieval Times was still a recent memory, and my hockey team was finally getting better. I had recently completed my first round of high school exams and could not wait to continue my education. Based on the strong start I had in grade 9, I felt confident continuing through high school. I remember I had big goals and dreams for myself at the time. I was hopeful at the time because I believed that grades 10 and 11 were the years in school that you truly begin to define yourself and find your individuality. Covid took those years away from me though, as I turned 16 during Covid and spent grade 10 in online school. That is, until the lockdown got lifted.

My family went into full lockdown for the first few weeks of Covid-19. We wanted to ensure that our family was safe before we decided to go back outside. It was not long until we realized we had to find a way to continue our lives despite the world being shut down. For my mom, her day-to-day stayed relatively the same. As a family doctor, she was still required to go to work and take care of the sick, which led to her feeling burnt out because of how many people were getting Covid at the beginning of the pandemic. My dad was unemployed at the time, as he had quit his job right before Covid. He spent most of his time reading and looking for jobs. At the same time, he was learning about things that he could use in the future. My brother had just moved out at the time, so I don’t know what he did, but I assume that he continued working. Nevertheless, my parents believed that just because school was shut down, my job as a student wasn’t. Even though grades could not change after things shut down, they still pushed me to keep up with course content and submit assignments. So, the only real day-to-day change that was made in the family was that I didn’t have to physically go to school anymore. Honestly, not that bad of a shift!

I hated virtual schooling because it felt so effortless and disconnected. It never felt like school but rather like I was listening to a podcast as part of an assignment. In the beginning of Covid, I tried my best to make it seem like it was the same as in-person school. I participated whenever the teacher spoke to the class. I always stayed on the Zoom call after class to ask questions. Despite my best efforts to keep the spirit alive, it just never felt worth it. I never felt like I was learning something because I was not in a learning environment. Eventually, I started losing attention in those classes because of that disconnection. I would spend my time on a call with my friends doing assignments together or hanging out instead.

I think the most harmful long-term impact virtual schooling had on me and others my age is that no one learned how to prepare for and take tests. The schooling system has chosen test-taking as the most cost- and time-effective way to evaluate someone’s understanding of the course. Although I don’t agree with the idea, it makes sense in some courses such as organic chemistry. However, virtual school never had tests; they had final cumulative assignments. For example, in math I had to create an art piece using functions we learned in class. This example shows that these were low-pressure assignments that were easy to succeed in. Since there were projects and no tests in virtual school, students my age adjusted to this method. When in-person schooling came back and they reintroduced tests, I found it difficult to take and study for them. I was never able to fully flesh out a proper study strategy, and I never adapted to the pressure of exams. I believe this is one reason as to why students my age struggle during exams, because Covid robbed us of the learning experience of how to take tests during high school. Personally, I remember not knowing how to study or handle test pressure. This led to me doing terribly on my first set of exams after we returned because I had not taken one in so long. Unfortunately, tests today are still made for students who had the opportunity to learn how to take tests and not for those who did not. I think the future of many students is in jeopardy because of the uneven playing field tests today offer, which is not fair at all.

I believe my Covid experience can be connected to the course themes of stigma and secrecy. I remember that early on in the pandemic, having Covid was frowned upon. There was a stigma that made people think you were weak or just unhealthy because you had Covid, especially for young people. This may be one of the reasons that many people my age, myself included, never reported their Covid cases. I had Covid early on, but I rarely told anyone about it at the time because I was afraid of the stigma of having Covid. I remember the first person I told that I had Covid looked at me with disgust and immediately asked for hand sanitizer, which felt so dehumanizing. I never told anyone that I had Covid for a while after that experience. My experience ties in with secrecy because of the fear I had of this stigma. Today, I still think there is stigma around the idea of having Covid. I feel like people look down on others who had Covid during the pandemic, which is wrong. People should not fear talking about their past illnesses because of stigma or be forced into secrecy. By being honest about my experience now and actively challenging stigma whenever it comes up, I hope to create an environment where others feel safe and supported. I believe people with illnesses should feel free from the unnecessary burden of shame or secrecy.