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106 Standing Still While the World Moved On: A Reflection on COVID-19’s Lasting Effects on my Life.

Anonymous

In the beginning of Covid I was in my hometown attending high school in Mississauga, Ontario. When we first went into full lockdown, I was 16 years old, and when I finished ‘online’ high school, I was 17 years old. Near the end of the Covid era, I was in Hamilton, Ontario in my first year of university. When Covid restrictions were finally lifted, near the end of my first year, I was 18 years old.   

When Covid started, I was halfway through grade 11. I distinctly remember one week prior to March 13, 2020, when the president of the United States declared Covid a national emergency, the hallways of school were different and eerie. Teachers were whispering to each other, unsure of what to make of this novel virus. When the lockdown was announced, my peers and I were convinced this was only going to last two weeks – we had no idea what was to come. The remaining four months of grade 11 were spent in confusion and uncertainty. We went into full lockdown which continued for months. This was the time where the most severe day-to-day changes were made. I suddenly went from a normal school and life experience, to being confined to my house and not seeing anyone. My parents and a lot of other adults were being laid-off from work, tensions were rising due to the lack of information about Covid.

At this point of the pandemic, it did not take long for my regular schedule to get completely turned around and messed up; this included my sleeping schedule, eating habits, socialization, daily routine, and studying habits. The beginning of my grade 12 year started off with a new ‘quadmester’ style, with half of the students attending school on alternate days according to our last names. At this time, some of the restrictions were lifted, but very minimally. We still could not go to each other’s houses or return to normal. There were only 2 classes per quadmester, but the in-person modified semester was short-lived and we were put back online indefinitely. I finished grade 12 doing online school (Sept 2020 – June 2021) and continued to deal with Covid restrictions throughout my first year of university (Sept 2021 – May 2022). At this point, we were not under full lockdown anymore, but masks were required, gatherings were kept to a minimum, and winter cases went up again and increased the restrictions. I feel that the restrictions, although they weren’t as strict at this time, hindered a lot of social opportunities and significantly reduced my first-year experience and socialization. I finally went back to normalcy in my second year of university (Sept 2022). 

Virtual schooling was an experience that I never thought I would have. While it was incredible to see how education could adapt to the circumstances of a pandemic, it left lasting consequences on my academic skills and ability to learn. I feel that virtual schooling was particularly damaging to me because half of my grade 11, the entirety of my grade 12, and the first half of first-year university was online. Such a massive change and disruption to habits I had been building for years changed my academic abilities in a way I have still not been able to fix five years after the pandemic. These years were the ones where students should become more serious about their studies and establish study habits that follow them to university and beyond. This process was completely shattered for me, instead equipping me with a shorter attention span, lack of discipline, and a lack of motivation. 

A problem I encountered was an intense fear of what would become of my future and university career. Online schooling resulted in extreme grade inflation across all school boards, rising competition to unprecedented levels. I know I was a strong student, but due to the Covid pandemic almost everyone had high averages and was a possible competitor. The transition to university was difficult due to the sheer amount of information and lack/destruction of established study habits in Covid. This was an overwhelming experience, and I cannot help but think how different my academic habits would be if Covid had never happened. Most importantly, I think of how different things would be if I was not robbed of the vital experiences school provides.

I believe there were countless long-term impacts of virtual schooling on me and other students my age. Some of these include but are not limited to; reduced ability to focus for long periods of time, a weak foundation of important topics, increased anxiety and depression, a lack of motivation and discipline, increased instances of burnout, decreased academic ability and performance, a lack of critical thinking, and lastly a greater dependency on technology.

My Covid experience can be related to the course theme of social collapse and isolation. Anthropology 2U03 has explored a wide range of topics, and social collapse and isolation is a key recurring theme that persists throughout the course. More specifically, when examining past instances such as the Black Death, the 1918 influenza pandemic, cholera outbreaks, and the HIV/AIDS epidemic, we can see that fear, uncertainty, and distress led to social collapse and widespread isolation. 

Isolation played a major role in my personal Covid experience; when we went into lockdown everything about my life changed. Having a routine at school was very important to me. Now left without structure or the ability to socialize, I fell into a deep sense of loneliness due to the breakdown of these vital social structures. As the pandemic became more serious, and governing bodies were failing at containing the pandemic, it was difficult to stay calm. 

A specific example from my life that relates to this course theme is how this sudden shift to online learning and shutdown of society disrupted my sense of connection severely. Being in grade 11, school was essential for my personal growth. Online school was extremely isolating; I lived in a relatively small house, and I often felt trapped or confined. Looking back, I realize I took my daily interactions for granted, since during Covid I just sat in my room for hours. A factor that made this worse is the fact that I do not like to use social media, and during lockdown this was the primary method to keep in touch and have human connections. This pressure to constantly be online was horrible and worsened my feelings of isolation. Once restrictions were loosened a little, there was still a social stigma associated with those who met in-person, making it almost impossible to see my friends for a long time. This experience took a large toll on my mental health and personal growth; it significantly altered the course of my life and changed me for the worse. Sometimes I still feel as if I am 17, as if the last five years did not even happen. It feels like time has moved for everyone except me; I still feel stuck in the same place as I did when Covid first started in March 2020. When learning about past pandemics, it never occurred to me how my personal experience mirrors those of the past. I thought these experiences were much different from one another, but the overarching themes are strikingly similar.