129 When the World Went Silent

Imagine this: Pickering, Ontario. A small, quiet suburb in the outskirts of Toronto that became a ghost town overnight. On March 12th, 2020, we were told we would have 2 extra weeks off after March break. Screams of joy and excitement filled the halls of my high school, everyone rushed to friends to celebrate the extra time off…not knowing what we were about to be hit with. During COVID I was 17, a high school junior, cherishing the last few months of 11th grade before my last year of high school. One minute I was sitting in a dimly lit classroom, doodling during physics class, and the next I was staring at my Google Classroom homepage waiting for physics class to begin, pretending to learn about kinetics. What even is that…

March 17th, 2020 was when Ontario shut down. A state of emergency was called, businesses shut down, schools remained closed, and travel was restricted across the border. Cases began rising, people started to die from the disease, everyone panicked.   

March 31st, 2020 was when we found out school was closed until May…that’s a good thing, right?? Wrong. Everything was online, we were trapped in our homes, life stood still. Meeting friends before class became texting them to join the class meeting. Life took a 180 degree turn and nothing was the same. Schools remained closed for the remainder of the school year and just like that we were in lockdown. Emergency orders were extended every 10 days, there were hundreds of new cases and deaths every day, and there seemed to be no end in sight.   

September 13th 2020. The day a COVID outbreak was announced. Restrictions became stricter, gatherings were limited everywhere, and the lockdown kept getting worse. Two weeks later Ontario was in the second wave, and every day new restrictions were put into effect. At this point school had begun, we went back to school in-person, but it was never the same. Grade 12. My senior year. The year I was supposed to make my best memories, decide where I’d be spending the next 4 years of my life. High school prom, graduation, after parties, everything I looked forward to disappeared in an instant. “NO LARGE GATHERINGS,” they said. I thought: “maybe by June COVID will die down and things will return to normal.” Boy, was I wrong.

COVID felt unreal. Living the same day over and over again. Everything and everyone went into lockdown. It was a cycle of new restrictions, continuing regular activities, going back into lockdown, and never knowing what the next day held. Initially, it was fun, no school for a couple weeks, waking up 5 minutes before class and joining from bed in my pajamas. But then it got boring. And repetitive. I had nothing to look forward to. Hanging out with friends and families became hours of video calls. The isolation hit and I was bored out of my mind. When the school year ended and summer began, it was even worse. Case counts were reaching all-time highs, more deaths every day, and the world was at a standstill. Trips outside became rare grocery trips and taking walks by the waterfront. Social distancing was the new norm. And it was everywhere. It was a very strange period of time to say the least.   

My parents lived their life somewhat normally, going to work every day, showering after every shift, disinfecting their items, and taking every safety precaution possible. But it didn’t help. On December 20th, 2020 my dad fell sick. Christmas break had just began. That same night, I woke up with the worst fever and chills I had ever had. The next day, my brother and grandparents all felt sick. On December 24th, 2020 we get tested for COVID. December 25th, around midnight, I log on to the portal and see a red notice … “POSITIVE.” I couldn’t believe it. I refused to. Everyone except my mom had COVID. How? No clue. The next 2 weeks were the worst. Hoping and praying this would blow over and we would all make it out okay. And we did, thankfully. 

COVID took away some big milestones in my life and there’s no getting them back. High school prom? The only discussion about prom was that it wouldn’t happen. No fun prom dress shopping, no prom photoshoots with my friends, no parties, no slow dances, no group photos. It was a regular night at home scrolling through my Pinterest board of prom dresses, themes and decor, wishing it came to life. Some tried to have their own prom with their friend groups but it was never the same.

Graduation? This one was all over the place. At first it was decided that there would be no graduation ceremony and students would either be mailed their diplomas or had to pick it up. But we did not settle for this. We demanded a graduation, started a petition, and soon enough we were allowed one. It was nowhere near what a normal ceremony looked like, but hey, it was something (it was a drive up graduation that lasted 5 minutes…). I drove up to the main foyer of my high school with my family in a graduation dress and a gown, put my mask on, stepped out of the car, and walked towards my principal. I was handed my diploma, a graduation gift (a water bottle with my school mascot…), and was guided to the main doors to take my graduation photo. Then I walked back to my car and drove off… And that was the last time I ever stepped foot there. It felt less like an achievement and more like I was picking up the mail. Bittersweet (more bitter than sweet).   

And then there was my driver’s license. I had taken the written test when I turned 16 but had to wait to take the driving one. It was impossible to book a test during lockdown, and dates were booked so far in advance. I wasn’t able to drive until I was about to turn 19… I lost the excitement of driving for the first time because I just wanted to get it done.