81 Masking Reality, Screening the Past: A COVID-19 Reflection

Liasyn Dilda

In 2019, before the world fell into a pandemic, the emergence of a new virus from China was far from important within my life. The news surrounding this virus was underwhelming for me, as my focus in my life was not about whether a virus would spread into Canada but focused on my grade 10 year as a 15-year-old. That is, until March 2020, when my world and the world around me went into a panic. Before lockdown began, I had injured myself and had a concussion that took me out of school for the two weeks leading into March break. I missed my friends and anticipated going back to school after the break. However, while everyone’s excitement grew around having an extended few weeks, I was becoming discouraged about the indecisiveness of school closures. As all schools went online, I was becoming more lethargic and my procrastination in completing assignments grew out of hand. The main difficulty in my new routine was my study habits, and how I had to eventually correct them for university. Coming out of the COVID-19 pandemic, my sense of time became distorted in terms of how long it had been since the first lockdown, since it still feels at times like a chunk of my life has been missing.

As Ontario went into full lockdown, the news stories on TV created an unsettling atmosphere outside of my “cohort,” which painted a dangerous picture of leaving your bubble and what it would mean to bring COVID-19 into your home. I endured lockdown with my entire family of six, including myself. My family, a family of introverts, kept relatively to themselves as we became comfortable staying in our cohort. We lived in the countryside, giving us the freedom to play games and go for walks, which was a positive experience.

Although I found myself spending months not leaving my home, my lifestyle never dramatically changed. But then again, with the inability to contact my friends and the strict parental restrictions on texting and social media, I found myself struggling to maintain a connection with my 15-year-old social life. Once the government’s mandatory rules and regulations were implemented, it transformed into normality and I was able to attend school, go to work, or be around the general public if I followed the guidelines. These guidelines were wearing masks, getting vaccinated, social distancing and screening for symptoms. The government would implement changes so often that it was difficult to follow and understand. With so many numbers surrounding deaths and the transmission spread within Canada or internationally, it became irrelevant to me. Nevertheless, I didn’t question the regulations and went along as I knew that following these restrictions could help prevent the spread, since the government said that if these guidelines are followed, then I could go back to my normal routine—something I longed for.

Unfortunately, even though I was following restrictions, I eventually caught COVID-19. I experienced the symptoms of unbearable muscle aches and joints pains followed with a fever that will resonate in my memories. Undergoing this sickness has opened my mind to the potential severity of this disease and how my case was still mild compared to others. Due to this, I became aware and cautious about my encounters with others and my environment.

My understanding of the regulations grew, which generated a better understanding of the responses taken by Canada and its provinces. These responses reflected the spread and transmission rate within Canada compared to other countries’ spread, due to their lack of immediate response. These measures correlate with the historical response rates countries took to prevent the spread of the 1918 Influenza, where they implemented safety regulations such as masking, closures, and quarantining. When I saw countries following the mistakes of those in the past, I also saw a growing stigma surrounding individuals infected. The concern and care towards someone who contracted COVID-19 drastically changed into a fear that instilled judgement from society. I recall experiencing excessive distancing between individuals who had just sneezed or coughed, regardless of knowing if they had COVID-19 or not. In assuming this, it instilled fear in the public. I witnessed anger, immediate blame and shunning people who had encountered an infected person just because they were potentially contagious. This type of reaction had harmful mental health impacts on people as they felt distance and abandonment from the isolation. This response is similar to responses to other historical diseases where there was stigma towards those who became infected. HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Hansen’s Disease are a few instances where this stigma was heavily associated with individuals who contracted these diseases, which was incredibly harmful to mental health.

Seeing the world shut down, I experienced a cultural shift; the public became increasingly impatient, and observed an impact on my generation’s mental health. Working at a restaurant as a hostess was a humbling experience because I thought I was a patient person, but I realized through this experience that I needed to learn even more patience. I worked at this restaurant throughout the bulk of the protocols, and noticed the lack of tolerance individuals had when they were not served or seated right away. There was further irritation when I asked to see their proof of vaccination, which was required for them to dine. This protocol was a mandatory regulation in Ontario and was instituted across the province, but despite that knowledge, guests would still become irritated and blame me for the annoyance.

This impatient demeanour was not just in the restaurant; at stores and public gatherings I attended, people would exhibit irritation over simple inconveniences. These inconveniences before the pandemic would not have resulted in the aggressive outbursts that happened during and after the pandemic. Although this cultural change in aggressive outward behaviour was most evident within the public, I noted a quieter, subtle change in my generation’s mental health and implications that have arisen from this daily uncertainty, from the lack of proper social interactions within the critical developing teenage years. I believe this has hindered our ability to make connections, leading to an increase in anxiety from the lack of proper exposure to positive communication. Therefore, when the pandemic ended, my age group was thrown into a world that expected us to fit back into society, despite not addressing these communication shortfalls throughout the pandemic. This has created a sense of shame since we are not able to live up to expectations and we were never able to develop in a gradual way.

Included in this shame is social anxiety resulting from many things, including the increased impatience seen publicly. It is assumed that my generation has no ambition and is lazy because we do not communicate the way previous generations are familiar with. COVID-19 changed the way our world communicates. With this change, my generation embraced the speed of technological advancements, whereas other generations have struggled to keep up. It is a hope that with time, my generation will become aware of this amazing skill we have developed and embrace the lessons that were self-taught through our experiences with the COVID-19 pandemic.