Supportive communication can be both verbal and nonverbal.  The main goal of supportive communication, in the context of peer support, is to achieve change in a situation while at the same time strengthening the relationship between the two people who are communicating.

Empathy

Empathy is listening with the intent to understand.  It is the ability to emotionally and intellectually understand another person’s reality, accurately perceive unspoken feelings, and communicate this understanding to the other person.

Showing empathy is different than showing sympathy.

• Sympathy is “the feeling that you care about and are sorry about someone else’s trouble, grief, misfortune, etc.”
• Sympathy is a good gesture and may provide sufficient support however, empathy is seen as more effective when providing emotional support.
• Empathy is defined as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner” or “the ability to share someone else’s feelings”.

Body language

Body language or nonverbal communication is important to compliment and regulate verbal communication.

• If these two forms of communication are incongruent the individual speaking usually follows the nonverbal cues of the listener.
• Posture and gait reflect feelings, emotions, self-judgment, and even health status. For example, sitting up straight may indicate confidence, whereas leaning forward may suggest the individual is listening and paying attention.
• Facial expressions convey emotions. It is possible to unintentionally convey a facial expression that is non-congruent with how one feels. If the other person analyzes this, however, it may lead them to think that a different emotion is being portrayed.
• For example, if the peer visitor is having a bad day and reflects this in their facial expressions while the person seeking support is having a conversation about their feelings, they may sense the peer visitor is upset with what they are saying.

Please be aware of your body language when communicating with your peer!

Watch the following short video on body language (2 minutes)

Eye contact

During a conversation, maintaining eye contact is important.  It demonstrates that you are paying attention and are interested in what is being stated.  A lack of eye contact may display nervousness, anxiety, discomfort, or lack of confidence. Optimally, eye contact is at the same eye level; standing over someone and looking down can be seen as being in authority.  It is also important to consider that interpretation of eye contact can be subjective based on culture. In Eastern cultures, it may come across as disrespectful.

Touch

Touch is an important element of communication and has the ability to provide affection, emotional support, encouragement, tenderness and personal attention.  Offering a gentle or firm touch to the shoulder can provide feelings of comfort, reassurance, and empathy.  However, be aware of inappropriate or uncomfortable touching and cultural differences!

Check Your Understanding

This is a self-assessment to check your understanding of the concepts presented in this section. You can attempt the activity multiple times.