Chapter 9: Writing Essays
Drafting
Drafting is the stage of the writing process in which you develop different versions of a piece of writing.
Even professional writers admit that an empty page scares them because they feel they need to come up with something fresh and original every time they open a blank document on their computers. Because you have completed the first two steps in the writing process, you have already recovered from empty-page syndrome. You have hours of prewriting and planning already done. You know what will go on that blank page: what you wrote in your outline.
Getting Started: Strategies for Drafting
Your objective for this portion is to draft the body paragraphs of a standard five-paragraph essay. A five-paragraph essay contains an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. If you are more comfortable starting on paper than on the computer, you can begin that way and then later type it before you revise. You can also use a voice recorder to get yourself started, dictating a paragraph or two to get you thinking.
Making the Writing Process Work for You
Begin writing with the part you know the most about. You can start with the third paragraph of your outline if ideas come easily to mind. Although paragraphs may vary in length, keep in mind that short paragraphs may contain insufficient support. Readers may also think the writing is abrupt. Long paragraphs may be wordy and may lose your reader’s interest.
Write one paragraph at a time and then stop. As long as you complete the assignment on time, you may choose how many paragraphs you complete in one sitting. Pace yourself. On the other hand, try not to procrastinate. Writers should always meet their deadlines.
Take short breaks to refresh your mind, but do not let breaks extend too long. If you spend too much time away from your essay, you may have trouble starting again. You may forget key points or lose momentum. Try setting an alarm to limit your break, and when the time is up, return to your desk to write.
Be reasonable with your goals. If you decide to limit your breaks to 10 minutes, try to stick to that goal. If you told yourself that you need more facts, then commit to finding them. Holding yourself to your own goals will create successful writing assignments.
Remember, keeping your purpose and your audience at the front of your mind is the most important to writing success. If your purpose is to persuade, for example, you will present your facts and details in the most logical and convincing way you can.
Your purpose will guide your mind as you compose your sentences. Your audience will guide word choice. Are you writing for experts, for a general audience, for other students, or for people who know very little about your topic? Keep asking yourself what your readers, with their background and experience, need to be told in order to understand your ideas. How can you best express your ideas so they are totally clear and your communication is effective?
Setting Goals for Your First Draft
A draft is a complete version of a piece of writing, but it is not the final version. The step in the writing process after drafting, as you may remember, is revising. During revising, you will have the opportunity to make changes to your first draft before you put the finishing touches on it during the editing and proofreading stages. A first draft gives you a working version that you can later improve.
Self-Practice Exercise 9.15
H5P: Goal Setting
As we work towards a full essay draft, it is critical to keep track of why we are doing what we are doing. Yes, you’re writing an essay for marks and to learn how to write an essay, but you can’t do that well unless you have an over-arching purpose.
What is the purpose of your essay? Be as specific and concrete as possible, and consider your answers to the following questions.
- Why are you writing it?
- What type of expository essay have you selected?
- Why is this the best type for what you want to achieve?
- What is the controlling idea or claim of your essay?
Who is the audience for this essay? Be as specific as you can be and think about why you know about this audience. Remember the concepts you learned previously, like thinking through the expectations and prior experience of your audience.
Discovering the Basic Elements of a First Draft
If you have been using the information in this chapter step by step to help you develop an assignment, you already have both a formal topic outline and a formal sentence outline to direct your writing. Knowing what a first draft looks like will help you make the creative leap from the outline to the first draft.
H5P: Elements of a Draft (Pre-Test 6)
You’ve already seen these terms in context elsewhere in your textbook. Can you identify the correct definition for each of the following words?
- thesis statement
- supporting sentences
- introduction
- conclusion
- topic sentence
Definitions:
- An piques the audience’s interest, tells what the essay is about, and motivates readers to keep reading.
- A presents the main point, or controlling idea, of the entire piece of writing.
- A in each paragraph states the main idea of the paragraph and implies how that main idea connects to the thesis statement.
- The in each paragraph develop or explain the topic sentence. These can be specific facts, examples, anecdotes, or other details that elaborate on the topic sentence.
- A that reinforces the thesis statement and leaves the audience with a feeling of completion.
Answer Key
- C
- A
- E
- B
- D
The Role of Topic Sentences
Topic sentences make the structure of a text and the writer’s basic arguments easy to locate and comprehend. In post-secondary writing, using a topic sentence in each paragraph of the essay is the standard rule. However, the topic sentence does not always have to be the first sentence in your paragraph even if it the first item in your formal outline.
The topic sentence can be the first, middle, or final sentence in a paragraph. The assignment’s audience and purpose will often determine where a topic sentence belongs. When the purpose of the assignment is to persuade, for example, the topic sentence should be the first sentence in a paragraph. In a persuasive essay, the writer’s point of view should be clearly expressed at the beginning of each paragraph.
Choosing where to position the topic sentence depends not only on your audience and purpose but also on the essay’s arrangement, or order. When you organize information according to order of importance, the topic sentence may be the final sentence in a paragraph. All the supporting sentences build up to the topic sentence. Chronological order may also position the topic sentence as the final sentence because the controlling idea of the paragraph may make the most sense at the end of a sequence.
When you organize information according to spatial order, a topic sentence may appear as the middle sentence in a paragraph. An essay arranged by spatial order often contains paragraphs that begin with descriptions. A reader may first need a visual in mind before understanding the development of the paragraph. When the topic sentence is in the middle, it unites the details that come before it with the ones that come after it.
Starting Your First Draft
Let’s take a look at an example of the beginning of an essay on digital technology and the confusing choices that consumers face.
Below you will find the thesis statement:
Here are the notes that were taken to characterize purpose and audience:
Purpose: My purpose is to inform readers about the wide variety of consumer digital technology available in stores and to explain why the specification for these products, expressed in number that average consumers don’t understand, often cause bad of misinformed buying decisions.
Audience: My audience is my instructor and members of this class. Most of them are not heavy into technology except for the usual laptops, cell phones, and MP3 players, which are not topics I’m writing about. I’ll have to be as exact and precise as I can be when I explain possible unfamiliar product specifications. At the same time, they’re more with it electronically than my grandparents’ VCR-flummoxed generation, so I won’t have to explain every last detail.
With this thesis statement and purpose and audience notes, we can look at the sentence outline. The following is the portion of the outline for the first body paragraph. The Roman numeral II identifies the topic sentence for the paragraph, capital letters indicate supporting details, and Arabic numerals label subpoints.
II. E-book readers and the way that people read.
- E-book readers make books easy to access and to carry
- Books can be downloaded electronically.
- Devices can store hundreds of books in memory.
- The market expands as a variety of companies enter it.
- Booksellers sell their own e-book readers.
- Electronics and computer companies also sell e-book readers.
- Current e-book readers have significant limitations.
- The devices are owned by different brands and may not be compatible.
- Few programs have been made to fit the other way Americans read: by borrowing books from libraries.
We can then begin to expand the ideas in the outline into a paragraph. Notice how the outline helps guarantee that all sentences in the body of the paragraph develop the topic sentence.
E-book readers are changing the way people read, or so e-book developers hope. The main selling point for these handheld devices, which are sort of the size of a paperback book, is that they make books easy to access and carry. Electronic versions of printed books can be downloaded online for a few bucks or directly from your cell phone. These devices can store hundreds of books in memory and, with text-to-speech features, can even read the texts. The market for e-books and e-book readers keep expanding as a lot of companies enter it. Online and traditional booksellers have been the first to market e-book readers to the public, but computer companies, especially the ones already involved in cell phone, online music, and notepad computer technology, will also enter the market. The problem for consumers, however, is which device to choose.
Incompatibility is the norm. E-books can be read only on the devices they were intended for. Furthermore, use is restricted by the same kind of DRM systems that restricts the copying of music and videos. So, book buyers are often unable to lend books to other readers, as they can with a real book. Few accommodations have been made to fit the other way Americans read: by borrowing books from libraries. What is a buyer to do?
As we continue writing the essay, let’s move to the second and third body paragraphs. There are supporting details but no numbered subpoints in the outline, so we would need to consult our prewriting notes for specific information to include.
Always reference your outline as you are writing your essay. You may find it useful to write your paragraphs between the sections on your outline in your first draft. Notice how you can expand Roman numeral III from your outline into a first draft of the second body paragraph. How closely does this stay on purpose and how well were the audience needs reflected?
III. Digital cameras have almost totally replaced by film cameras.
- The first major choice is the type of digital camera.
- Compactible digital cameras are light by have fewer megapixels.
- Single lens reflex cameras, or SLRs, may be large and heavy but can be sued for many functions.
- Some cameras combine the best features of compacts an SLRs.
- Choosing the camera type involves the confusing “megapixel wars.”
- The zoom lens battle also determines the camera you will buy.
IV. Nothing is more confusing to me than choosing among televisions
- In the resolution wars, what are the benefits of 1080p and 768p?
- In the screen-size war, what do plasma screens and LCD screens offer?
- Does every home really need a media centre?
Given all the time and effort you have put into your research paper, you will want to make sure that your final draft represents your best work. This requires taking the time to revise and edit your paper carefully.
You may feel like you need a break from your paper before you edit it. That feeling is understandable, so you want to be sure to leave yourself enough time to complete this important stage of the writing process. This section presents a number of opportunities for you to focus on different aspects of the editing process; as with revising a draft, you should approach editing in different stages.
Some of the content in this section may seem repetitive, but again, it provides you with a chance to double-check any revisions you have made at a detailed level.
Editing Your Draft
If you have been incorporating each set of revisions, you have produced multiple drafts of your writing. So far, all of your changes have been content changes. Perhaps with the help of peer feedback, you have made sure that you sufficiently supported your ideas. You have checked for problems with unity and coherence. You have examined your essay for word choice, revising to cut unnecessary words and to replace weak wording with specific and appropriate wording.
The next step after revising the content is editing. When you edit, you examine the surface features of your text. You examine your spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation. You also make sure you use the proper format when creating your finished assignment.
Tip: Editing takes time. Be sure to budget time into the writing process to complete additional edits after revising. Editing and proofreading your writing helps you create a finished work that represents your best efforts. Here are a few more tips to remember about your readers:
- Readers do not notice correct spelling, but they do notice misspellings.
- Readers look past your sentences to get to your ideas—unless the sentences are awkward, poorly constructed, and frustrating to read.
- Readers notice when every sentence has the same rhythm as every other sentence, with no variety.
- Readers will notice the care with which you handled your assignment and your attention to detail in the delivery of an error-free document.
Identifying Wordiness
Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more to their audience and better fit their purpose. Here are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers, because it makes your ideas clear, direct, and straightforward.
- Sentences that begin with There is or There are
- Wordy. There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.
- Revised. The Biology Department sponsors two major experiments.
- Sentences with unnecessary modifiers
- Wordy. Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favour of the proposed important legislation.
- Revised. Two well-known consumer advocates spoke in favour of the proposed legislation.
- Sentences with deadwood phrases that add little to the meaning. Be judicious when you use phrases such as in terms of, with a mind to, on the subject of, as to whether or not, more or less, as far as…is concerned, and similar expressions. You can usually find a more straightforward way to state your point.
- Wordy. As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy. A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation.
- Revised. As a world leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy. Researchers are preparing a report about using geysers as an energy source.
- Sentences in the passive voice or with forms of the verb to be: Sentences with passive voice verbs often create confusion because the subject of the sentence does not perform an action. Sentences are clearer when the subject performs the action and is followed by a strong verb. Use strong active voice verbs in place of forms of to be, which can lead to wordiness. Avoid passive voice when you can.
- Wordy. It might perhaps be said that using a GPS device is something that is a benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
- Revised. Using a GPS device benefits drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
- Sentences with constructions that can be shortened
- Wordy. The e-book reader, which is a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone. My over-60 uncle bought an e-book reader, and his wife bought an e-book reader, too.
- Revised. The e-book reader, a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone. My over-60 uncle and his wife both bought e-book readers.
Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words
Most essays at the post-secondary level should be written in formal English suitable for an academic situation. Follow these principles to be sure that your word choice is appropriate.
- Avoid slang. Find alternatives to bummer, kewl, and rad.
- Avoid language that is overly casual. Write about “men and women” rather than “girls and guys” unless you are trying to create a specific effect. A formal tone calls for formal language.
- Avoid contractions. Use do not in place of don’t, I am in place of I’m,have not in place of haven’t, and so on. Contractions are considered casual speech.
- Avoid clichés. Overused expressions such as green with envy, face the music, better late than never, and similar expressions are empty of meaning and may not appeal to your audience.
- Be careful when you use words that sound alike but have different meanings. Some examples are allusion/illusion; complement/compliment; council/counsel; concurrent/consecutive; founder/flounder; and historic/historical. When in doubt, check a dictionary.
- Choose words with the connotations you want. Choosing a word for its connotations is as important in formal essay writing as it is in all kinds of writing. Compare the positive connotations of the word proud and the negative connotations of arrogant and conceited.
- Use specific words rather than overly general words. Find synonyms for thing, people, nice, good, bad, interesting, and other vague words. Or use specific details to make your exact meaning clear.
Now read these revisions to make the third paragraph clearer and more concise.
Self-Practice Exercise 9.16
H5P: Understanding Word Choice
Answer the following questions about Mariah’s revised paragraph.
- Read the unrevised and the revised paragraphs aloud. Explain in your own words how changes in word choice have affected Mariah’s writing.
- Do you agree with the changes that Mariah made to her paragraph? Which changes would you keep and which were unnecessary? Explain. What other changes would you have made?
- What effect does removing contractions and the pronoun you have on the tone of the paragraph? How would you characterize the tone now? Why?
Now return once more to your essay in progress. Read carefully for problems with word choice. Be sure that your draft is written in formal language and that your word choice is specific and appropriate.
Editing Your Writing Checklist
Reread your paper and use the list below to check your grammar.
- Does every verb agree with its subject?
- Is the antecedent of every pronoun clear?
- Is it clear which word a participial phrase modifies (eg. no dangling modifier)?
- Have you ensured there are no run-on sentences?
- Are subject, object, and possessive personal pronouns used correctly?
- Do all personal pronouns agree with their antecedents?
- Are all sentences complete sentences (eg. not fragments)?
- Are independent clauses joined with conjunctions?
- Are tense forms, especially for irregular verbs, written correctly?
- Are the correct comparative and superlative forms of adjectives and adverbs used?
- Are who and whom used correctly?
- Is every verb in the correct tense?
Reread your paper and use the list below to check your sentence structure.
- Is my parallel structure accurate?
- Have I chosen the best coordinating or subordinating conjunctions to join clauses?
- Are my sentences clear?
- Do I vary my sentence structure?
Reread your paper and use the list below to check your sentence structure.
- Have I used apostrophes correctly to write all singular and plural possessive forms?
- Have I used quotation marks correctly?
- Does every sentence end with the correct end punctuation?
- Can I justify the use of every exclamation point?
Reread your paper and use the list below to check your mechanics and usage.
- Have I corrected any spelling errors?
- Have I used capital letters where they are needed?
- Have I written abbreviations, where allowed, correctly?
- Have I corrected any errors in the use of commonly confused words, such as to/too/two?
Tip: Proofreading requires patience; it is very easy to read past a mistake. Set your paper aside for at least a few hours, if not a day or more, so your mind will rest. Some professional proofreaders read a text backward so they can concentrate on spelling and punctuation. Another helpful technique is to slowly read a paper aloud, paying attention to every word, letter, and punctuation mark.
If you need additional proofreading help, ask a reliable friend, classmate, or peer tutor to make a final pass on your paper to look for anything you missed.
Formatting
Your finished assignment should be properly formatted, following the style required of you. Formatting includes the style of the title, margin size, page number placement, location of the writer’s name, and other factors. Your instructor or department may require a specific style to be used. The requirements may be more detailed and rigid for research projects and term papers, which often observe the American Psychological Association (APA) style guide, especially when citations of sources are included.
To ensure the format is correct and follows any specific instructions, make a final check before you submit an assignment.
Checking Citations and Formatting
When editing a research paper, it is also important to check that you have cited sources properly and formatted your document according to the specified guidelines. There are two reasons for this. First, citing sources correctly ensures that you give proper credit to other people for ideas and information that helped you in your work. Second, using correct formatting establishes your paper as one student’s contribution to the work developed by and for a larger academic community. Increasingly, American Psychological Association (APA) style guidelines are the standard for many academic fields.
Citation and Formatting Checklist
Reread your paper and check whether you have achieved the following goals in working towards proper citation and formatting.
- Each in-text citation includes the source author’s name (or, where applicable, the organization name or source title) and year of publication. I have used the correct format of in text and parenthetical citations.
- Within the body of my paper, each fact or idea taken from a source is credited to the correct source.
- My paper includes a running head.
- Each source cited in the body of my paper has a corresponding entry in the references section of my paper.
- My references section includes a heading and double-spaced alphabetized entries.
- Each entry in my references section is indented on the second line and all subsequent lines.
- The margins of my paper are set at one inch. Text is double spaced and set in a standard 12-point font.
- My paper includes a title page.
- Each entry in my references section includes all the necessary information for that source type, in the correct sequence and format.
Final Revision Checklist
Although you probably do not want to look at your paper again before you submit it to your instructor, take the time to do a final check. Since you have already worked through all of the checklists above focusing on certain aspects at one time, working through one final checklist should confirm you have written a strong, persuasive essay and that everything is the way you want it to be. Then you can compare to see how your perceptions of your paper match those of someone else, essentially having that person act as the one who will be grading your paper.
Reread your paper and use the list below to check your organization.
- Are your paragraphs organized in a logical manner?
- Focus: Have you clearly stated your thesis (your controlling idea) in the first paragraph?
- Check whether your paragraphs are organized according to a specific pattern.
- Unity: Write your opening and closing paragraphs and place each topic sentence in between. You should have a “mini essay”
- with several different main points supporting your thesis.
- Have you provided a comprehensive conclusion to your essay? Does it summarize your main points (using different words)?
- Do you show you understand the assignment: purpose, audience, and genre?
- Does your thesis statement catch the reader’s attention?
- Does each topic sentence (per paragraph) logically follow the one preceding it?
- Do you have several points to support your thesis?
- Are your paragraphs organized in the best way to support your thesis?
Reread your paper and use the list below to check your paragraphs and sentences.
- Does each sentence logically follow the preceding one?
- Are there several sentences giving details, facts, quotes, reasons, and arguments in each paragraph?
- Is each supporting detail specific, concrete, and relevant to the topic sentence?
- Have you used transitional words to help the reader follow your thoughts?
- Does each paragraph have only one main point?
- Does your essay have an appropriate tone and point of view?
- Does each paragraph have main points and supporting details?
- Is each sentence is relevant to the main point of the paragraph?
- Is your approach or pattern used to develop your paragraph’s main point followed?
- Are your paragraphs all an appropriate length?
Reread your paper and use the list below to check your sentences and usage.
- Verb tenses are consistent.
- Weak adverbs (may be) are replaced with strong verbs (is).
- Pronoun referents are clear.
- Wordiness has been eliminated.
- Subject and verbs agree.
- Subjects are person are consistent.
- Sentence structure is varied.
- Repetition has been eliminated.
- Fragments, splices, and run-on sentences have been revised.
- Each sentence has a subject and a verb.
- Lists are written in parallel.
- Wordiness has been corrected.
- All verbs are active.
- Modifiers have been checked for clarity.
Reread your paper and use the list below to check your documentation.
- Reference section is complete.
- All references are documented.
- In-text citations are formatted correctly.
- In-text citations are present for every reference.
Reread your paper and use the list below to check your mechanics.
- All spelling and typographical errors have been corrected.
- All words and sentences are punctuated according to common usage.
Reread your paper and use the list below to check your content.
- I have provided enough background information. The details I have provided are relevant and necessary.
- I believe what I have written.
- My controlling idea and the development of my argument make sense.
- I have primarily used paraphrasing (not direct quotation).
You should now be confident you have produced a strong argument that is wonderfully constructed and that you will be able to persuade your audience that your points and point of view are valid.
