Introduction

As the adolescent continues developing, their personality, interests, and identities take shape, influenced by many social influences such as their families, peers, and others. This reading will explore the importance of healthy relationships, the potential impacts of unhealthy relationships, and how we as CYCPs can encourage and model healthy development.

Recall from your previous reading regarding the development of social identity. In the search for identity, the adolescent may experience role confusion in which he or she is balancing or choosing among identities, taking on negative or undesirable identities, or temporarily giving up looking for an identity altogether if things are not going well.

One approach to assessing identity development was proposed by James Marcia (1980 as cited in Walinga & Stagnor, 2010) which is based on Erik Erikson’s “Challenges of Development.” In Marcia’s approach, adolescents are asked questions regarding their exploration of and commitment to issues related to occupation, politics, religion, and sexual behaviour. The responses to the questions allowed the researchers to classify the adolescent into one of four identity categories (see Table 1, “James Marcia’s Stages of Identity Development”).

Studies assessing how teens pass through Marcia’s stages show that, although most teens eventually succeed in developing a stable identity, the path to it is not always easy and there are many routes that can be taken. Some teens may simply adopt the beliefs of their parents or the first role that is offered to them, perhaps at the expense of searching for other, more promising possibilities (foreclosure status). Other teens may spend years trying on different possible identities (moratorium status) before finally choosing one.

To help them work through the process of developing an identity, teenagers may well try out different identities in different social situations. They may maintain one identity at home and a different type of persona when they are with their peers. Eventually, most teenagers do integrate the different possibilities into a single self-concept and a comfortable sense of identity (identity-achievement status).

For teenagers, the peer group provides valuable information about the self-concept. For instance, in response to the question “What were you like as a teenager? (e.g., cool, nerdy, awkward?),” posed on the website Answerbag, one teenager replied in this way:

I’m still a teenager now, but from 8th-9th grade I didn’t really know what I wanted at all. I was smart, so I hung out with the nerdy kids. I still do; my friends mean the world to me. But in the middle of 8th I started hanging out with whom you may call the “cool” kids…and I also hung out with some stoners, just for variety. I pierced various parts of my body and kept my grades up. Now, I’m just trying to find who I am. I’m even doing my sophomore year in China so I can get a better view of what I want (Answerbag, 2007 as cited by Walinga & Stagnor, 2010).

Responses like this one demonstrate the extent to which adolescents are developing their self-concepts and self-identities and how they rely on peers to help them do that. The writer here is trying out several (perhaps conflicting) identities, and the identities any teen experiments with are defined by the group the person chooses to be a part of. The friendship groups (cliques, crowds, or gangs) that are such an important part of the adolescent experience allow the young adult to try out different identities, and these groups provide a sense of belonging and acceptance (Rubin, Bukowski, & Parker, 2006 as cited in Walinga & Stagnor, 2010). A big part of what the adolescent is learning is social identity, the part of the self-concept that is derived from one’s group memberships. Adolescents define their social identities according to how they are similar to and differ from others, finding meaning in the sports, religious, school, gender, and ethnic categories they belong to.

Healthy relationships in adolescence can help shape a young person’s identity and prepare teens for more positive relationships during adulthood. Providing adolescents with tools to start and maintain healthy relationships (with romantic partners as well as peers, employers, teachers, CYCPs and caregivers) may have a positive influence on a young person’s overall development.

Healthy Relationships in Adolescence

Parents

It appears that most teens do not experience adolescent “storm and stress“ to the degree once famously suggested by G. Stanley Hall, a pioneer in the study of adolescent development. Only small numbers of teens have major conflicts with their parents (Steinberg & Morris, 2001), and most disagreements are minor. For example, in a study of over 1,800 parents of adolescents from various cultural and ethnic groups, Barber (1994) found that conflicts occurred over day-to-day issues such as homework, money, curfews, clothing, chores, and friends. These disputes occur because an adolescent’s drive for independence and autonomy conflicts with the parent’s supervision and control. These types of arguments tend to decrease as teens develop (Galambos & Almeida, 1992 as cited in Lumen Learning, 2019).

As adolescents work to form their identities, they pull away from their parents, and the peer group becomes very important (Shanahan, McHale, Osgood, & Crouter, 2007 as cited in Lumen Learning, 2019). Despite spending less time with their parents, most teens report positive feelings toward them (Moore, Guzman, Hair, Lippman, & Garrett, 2004 as cited in Lumen Learning, 2019). Warm and healthy parent-child relationships have been associated with positive child outcomes, such as better grades and fewer school behavior problems, in the United States as well as in other countries (Hair et al., 2005 as cited in Lumen Learning, 2019).

Although peers take on greater importance during adolescence, family relationships remain important too. One of the key changes during adolescence involves a renegotiation of parent–child relationships. As adolescents strive for more independence and autonomy during this time, different aspects of parenting become more salient. For example, parents’ distal supervision and monitoring become more important as adolescents spend more time away from parents and in the presence of peers. Parental monitoring encompasses a wide range of behaviors such as parents’ attempts to set rules and know their adolescents’ friends, activities, and whereabouts, in addition to adolescents’ willingness to disclose information to their parents (Stattin & Kerr, 2000 as cited in Lumen Learning, 2019). Psychological control, which involves manipulation and intrusion into adolescents’ emotional and cognitive world through invalidating adolescents’ feelings and pressuring them to think in particular ways is another aspect of parenting that becomes more salient during adolescence and is related to more problematic adolescent adjustment (Barber, 1996).

As CYCPs, we cannot begin to understand teen behaviour, and not consider the profound influence of friends. Peers begin to exert more influence on each other during their adolescent years than at any other time. Research has confirmed that peer attitudes and behaviours are critical influences on teens’ attitudes and behaviours related to dating violence.

Not only are friends more influential in adolescence than in adulthood, but they are also more likely to be “on the scene” and a key element in a couple’s social life. In fact, roughly half of adolescent dating violence occurs when a third party is present. Relationship dynamics often play out in a very public way because teens spend a large portion of their time in school and in groups. For various reasons, a romantic partner may act very differently when in the presence of peers, a behaviour viewed by adolescents as characteristic of an unhealthy relationship. For example, boys in one focus group study said that if a girl hit them in front of their friends, they would need to hit her back to “save face.”

During adolescence, peer groups evolve from primarily single-gender to mixed-gender. Adolescents within a peer group tend to be similar to one another in behaviour and attitudes, which has been explained as being a function of homophily (adolescents who are similar to one another choose to spend time together in a “birds of a feather flock together” way) and influence (adolescents who spend time together shape each other’s behavior and attitudes). Peer pressure is usually depicted as peers pushing a teenager to do something that adults disapprove of, such as breaking laws or using drugs.

Conflict over how much time is spent with each other versus with friends, jealousies stemming from too much time spent with a friend of the opposite sex, and new romantic possibilities are all part of the social fabric of adolescence. Although “normal” from a developmental perspective, navigating such issues can cause conflict and, for some adolescents, lead to aggressive responses and problematic coping strategies, such as stalking, psychological or verbal abuse, and efforts to gain control.

In a 2020 report titled “The Health of Canada’s Young People: a mental health focus” the authors found that friends are a necessary protective factor to behavioural or emotional concerns a young person might have, and that a teen needs friends. Having someone to talk to similar in age and experiences helps support healthy emotional development. When a young person doesn’t have friends or are not accepted in a peer group, they might miss opportunities for acquiring the important social skills and behaviours necessary for development (Craig, Pickett & King, 2020).

The authors also state that “despite the increase in social support from friends and partners during adolescence, parental support continues to be a key factor in healthy mental and physical development” (Craig, Pickett & King, 2020, p. 10).

Peers can serve both positive and negative functions during adolescence. Negative peer pressure can lead adolescents to make riskier decisions or engage in more problematic behavior than they would alone or in the presence of their family. For example, adolescents are much more likely to drink alcohol, use drugs, and commit crimes when they are with their friends than when they are alone or with their family. However, peers also serve as an important source of social support and companionship during adolescence, and adolescents with positive peer relationships are happier and better adjusted than those who are socially isolated or who have conflictual peer relationships. Crowds are an emerging level of peer relationships in adolescence. In contrast to friendships (which are reciprocal dyadic relationships) and cliques (which refer to groups of individuals who interact frequently), crowds are characterized more by shared reputations or images than actual interactions (Brown & Larson, 2009) These crowds reflect different prototypic identities (such as jocks or brains) and are often linked with adolescents’ social status and peers’ perceptions of their values or behaviors.

Developmental models focus on interpersonal contexts in both childhood and adolescence that foster depression and anxiety (e.g., Rudolph, 2009).  Family adversity, such as abuse and parental psychopathology, during childhood sets the stage for social and behavioural concerns during adolescence. Adolescents with such concerns generate stress in their relationships (e.g., by resolving conflict poorly and excessively seeking reassurance) and select into more maladaptive social contexts (e.g., “misery loves company” scenarios in which depressed youths select other depressed youths as friends and then frequently co-ruminate as they discuss their problems, exacerbating negative affect and stress). These processes are intensified for girls compared with boys because girls have more relationship-oriented goals related to intimacy and social approval, leaving them more vulnerable to disruption in these relationships. Anxiety and depression then exacerbate problems in social relationships, which in turn contribute to the stability of anxiety and depression over time.

Attachment

If you recall from your Child Development course, attachment theory provides a framework that describes “the quality of present attachment relationships with the parents, as well as skills acquired in a secure attachment relationship since childhood, are key features in solving developmental issues linked to adolescence.” (Dubois-Comtois, Cyr, Pascuzzo & Lessard, 2013). This framework provides context for understanding the long-term influence of relationships – from caregivers and others. These relationships provide a young person “the individual with emotional support and a feeling of continuity and comfort, especially during stressful periods and moments of important change, such as the transition into adolescence or adulthood” (Dubois-Comtois et al., 2013).

The impact of attachment between an adolescent and their caregiver(s) has a strong impact on social and emotional functioning for adolescents (Moretti & Peled, 2004).

There are several factors in the realm of social-emotional development that researchers have found are associated with adolescent well-being, such as parental attachment relationships (Acun-Kapikiran, Körukcü & Kapikiran, 2014; Herrera-López, Romera & Ortega-Ruiz, 2017) which are primarily “built on trust, warmth, communication… which indicates secure attachment” (Mónaco, Schoeps & Montoya-Castilla, 2019, p. 2). A secure attachment during the early years influences an adolescence and their mental health during this developmental stage fostering trust in peers and in romantic relationships. “From adolescence to mid-life, this could translate into more fluid and positive interpersonal relationships, thanks to more effective emotional and interpersonal skills” (Mónaco, Schoeps & Montoya-Castilla, 2019, p. 2). In their research, they found that adolescents who have a secure attachment relationship with caregivers report less stress, higher self-esteem, a greater variety of interpersonal skills, and overall greater satisfaction in life (Mónaco, Schoeps & Montoya-Castilla, 2019). Others have found that having a secure attachment can decrease the likelihood to engage in high-risk behaviours, and improve social skills and positive coping strategies, and emotion regulation (Moretti & Peled, 2004; Holt, Mattanah & Long, 2018; Rawatal, Pillay, & Kliewer, 2016 as cited in Mónaco, Schoeps & Montoya-Castilla, 2019).

On the opposite end, the authors mention that those who experienced insecure attachment with caregivers may, during adolescence be “more likely to engage in risky behaviours, present behavioural problems, and experience difficulties with emotional regulation, such as impulsivity” (Mónaco, Schoeps & Montoya-Castilla, 2019, p. 2).

Some of the most important changes that occur during adolescence involve the further development of the self-concept and the development of new attachments. Whereas young children are most strongly attached to their parents, the important attachments of adolescents move increasingly away from parents and increasingly toward peers (Harris, 1998). As a result, parents’ influence diminishes at this stage.

Another element important to note in addition to attachment, is healthy romantic relationships, which we will touch on briefly.

The Role of Healthy Romantic and Dating Relationships

Adolescents tend to become more interested in dating around their mid-teens and become more involved in dating relationships during high school. Although dating does increase during this time, it is also normal for adolescents not to be in a relationship. Nearly two-thirds of teens (ages 13-17) have not been in a dating or romantic relationship. Thirty-five percent of teens (ages 13-17) have some experience with romantic relationships, and 19 percent are currently in a relationship. Older teens (ages 15-17) are more likely than younger teens to have experience with romantic relationships (Lenhart et al., 2015 as cited in Walinga & Stagnor, 2010).

Experiencing healthy dating relationships does have benefits to adolescent development. Knowing how to establish and maintain healthy romantic relationships can help adolescents grow. Healthy dating during the teenage years can be an essential way to develop social skills, learn about other people, and grow emotionally. These relationships also can play a role in supporting youth’s ability to develop positive relationships in other areas, including: in school, with employers, and with partners during adulthood.

Generally, adolescents value intimacy, closeness, and emotional investment in romantic relationships. These relationships can be accompanied by extreme excitement and happiness, but also by disappointment and sadness. However, some youth might go beyond the normal range of emotions and may experience depression.

We’ll explore teen dating in more detail when we look at opportunities and challenges for adolescents in the coming weeks.

Conclusion

As CYCPs, understanding attachment, relationships with peers, caregivers, and others provides context for our work. When we are supporting an adolescent in the area of social skills or social development, having some background information – and understanding the impact of current relationships – can be helpful when developing activities and interventions. In the course shell we will explore how to support healthy social skills and promote healthy social interactions with peers, families, and others.

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OER Attributions:

Content from this chapter has been adapted from the following sources:

Introduction to Psychology – 1st Canadian Edition by Jennifer Walinga and Charles Stangor is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License, except where otherwise noted.

Lifespan Development by Lumen Learning is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License, except where otherwise noted.