24 The Mirror of my Reflection – Lauren-Sabina

Skies of darkened grey always rumble,
Oh what bliss, this willful happiness.
Do they notice as I fall and tumble?
It’s all futile, it’s all pointless, this under-worldly abyss.

If angels watch me till morning light,
Oh how I must be happy, and enriched with life.
Not drag on my existent survival fight,
And I do not recognize my own face without strife.

Why do I watch myself from the outside?
Silent and sadistic as red’s small genocide.

I stare back at the reflection of an imposter,
She controls my life, I’m floating between reality unidentified.
Oh, how you used to be quite the showstopper.

Everyone is there if I am here,
They all look up when I am down,
I do appear fine, mind the tear,
Oh if only you knew, had you been around.

My friends are gone, activities diminished,
Up to midnight, I’m trying, don’t you see?
All they see is work and grades unfinished.
I don’t care that I am prisoner to my own mind and will never be free.

Not anymore. Not since I was nine years old, grade four.

So why do I watch myself from the outside?
Silent and sadistic like red’s small genocide.
I stare back at the reflection of an imposter
She controls my life, molding me unidentified
Oh, how you used to be quite the showstopper.

Oh hello there, why do you stare?
Is it me that you are truly reflecting?
This was not something I meant to share,
Why, I’m your unachieved dream you are perfecting

Seventeen years onwards and days left pending,
My reflection disappears, commencing my ending.