Donna Benns – My Hero
My Nana, Donna Benns’ story begins with her extraordinary mother, Violet Isabel Stewart, a woman who defied social norms. Violet grew up in Toronto, Ontario during The Great Depression. Violet was deeply involved in her church and her faith carried her through many challenging times. At just seventeen years old, Violet experienced a devastating and unexpected loss of her father, yet took on the challenge of supporting her family which included her younger brother who was only twelve years old at the time. Violet and her brother made sure to take care of each other as they continued to grow up together.
While Violet’s dream was to attend a nurse training program to become a nurse, Violet put her dreams on hold so that she could support her family first. While still in the downturn of the economy during the Great Depression, Violet was able to secure a job as a secretary, a job that provided enough for the family and also provided the opportunity to support her brother through university. When Violet’s brother graduated from university and began working, he returned the favour and financially supported Violet to attend nurse training so that she too could fulfil her career aspirations. Violet trained at Toronto East General Hospital and then graduated in the early 1950s when she was in her early 30s. Violet worked passionately as a nurse, and went on to expand her nursing career by becoming a nursing teacher, during which she taught urology.
Violet’s tenacity to grow her nursing career allowed her to be a self-sufficient single woman in her 30s so that she could move out of the school residence facility, and buy her own house in the early 1950s – which was very unusual for a single woman to do at that time period. Violet however did not stay single for long following her initial foray into home ownership. Violet found love and married in 1956.
Violet and her husband began to grow their family. My Nana, Donna, was the oldest of four children; she was born on July 4,1960, and only 17 months later, my Great Uncle Doug was born in 1961. My Nana was joined by two more children that Violet adopted: my Nana’s younger sister, Heather, born in 1963, and younger brother, Glenn born in 1969.
My Nana’s birth was a unique event that was a testament to her mother’s intertwined love for her family and for nursing. Violet had her nursing students in the delivery room to witness the birth of my Nana as a teachable moment. In the 1960s, it was not the norm to have fathers present in the delivery room, let alone a class of students! Violet’s students were in awe with her commitment to their education. About a decade later in 1970, my Nana’s mother retired from nursing and began teaching piano lessons to the neighbourhood children.
Growing up, my Nana, Donna had always looked up to her mother. Donna was influenced by her mother’s impactful role as a nursing teacher, wife, being an all-around good person. At 20 years old, Donna’s own journey took a significant turn when she married my grandfather, Papa Jeff, on July 12, 1980, subsequently welcoming my mom, Christine, and her brother, my Uncle Grant into the world. Navigating the world as a new and young mother of two children, while continuing to grow into her own values and passions in life, my Nana and Papa Jeff grew into conflicting versions of themselves that led to a divorce. During this time, my Nana found her vocational calling, leaving behind factory work to follow in her mom’s footsteps and enrolling in Durham College in 1990 to become a nurse. Shortly after, my Nana’s mom passed in 1991, leaving my Nana to grieve the loss of her mother, navigate a divorce, raise two small children, and pursue a new career all at the same time. I can only imagine how overwhelming this chapter of my Nana’s life would have been for her.
Around the same time, fate intervened, and Donna crossed paths with Doug through mutual friends. Both being separated, their friends saw in them being a perfect match. In 1994, Donna married Doug, and took on a new role – not just as a wife to Doug but also as a mother to Doug’s three children from his previous marriage: youngest daughter Megan, and older twin sons, Aaron and Nigel, blending together as a family of seven, with five children.
Donna’s resilience and capacity for love were truly remarkable as she embraced the challenges and joys of blended family life. Adjusting to life with five children between the ages of six to twelve had emotional highs and lows, with ebbs and flows between sibling bonding and sibling rivalry. Aaron and Nigel picked on their younger sister Megan, while Christine picked on her younger brother Grant. Donna’s daughter, my mother, and step-son, my uncle Aaron, often acted out in defiance as they adjusted to life with new siblings and new parenting styles, frequently verbally and physically challenging the boundaries set out by my Nana and Doug. Despite these challenges, my Nana held her head high and embraced the challenges that this new life brought her with unrivalled patience and grace.
My Nana only showed unconditional love for her family, which became extremely obvious when my mother, Christine faced a challenging separation from my dad while I was only X years old. My Nana and Papa Doug moved my mother and I in with them, providing a safe and welcoming space for us to live and heal. The bond that formed during the years of living with my Nana remains a cherished chapter in my life, and I will forever be so thankful to have the relationship that I have with my Nana and Papa Doug.
My mother and I eventually moved out from my Nana’s home, however, my Nana continued to show me what love looked like and felt like and helped me see the way I want to live my life. Ever since I was a child, my Nana shared amazing stories of the trials and triumphs of love between her and my Papa Doug, her career in nursing, her interest in gardening, and I have always wanted to live a life like hers.
My Nana is my rock, she is the person I go to for anything. She is the reason I strive to go into nursing. This past summer, my Nana brought me to her work at a hospital in the dialysis unit to shadow her for a day, and I immediately fell in love with the profession. Watching my Nana help people in need, and observing her caring and supportive approach with patients was very inspiring to me. This past Fall, my Nana accompanied me to a nursing school open house at a university and motivated me to apply to various Registered Practical Nursing (RPN) and Registered Nursing (RN) programs. With my Nana’s encouragement, I applied and have received early acceptance into both RPN and RN programs in Ontario. I’m so happy I get to follow in my Nana’s footsteps and I hope that one day I can be as amazing as her, and that one day my grandchildren will be writing a story like this about me.
Currently, my Nana lives in a small town in Ontario, called Kinmount, located in Kawartha Lakes. Donna holds an unbreakable bond with her three siblings and their families, her five children and their partners, and three grandchildren. Donna’s bond with her late mother also continues to exist as she and her siblings found a way to honour her legacy. Violet wrote poems and prayers throughout her life and my Nana and her siblings recently consolidated her writing and published a book with the hope that the book would find someone in need of encouragement to find inspiration in her stories, in the way that Violet’s life influenced my Nana’s life and consequently inspired mine.
My Nana’s story is one of resilience, growth, and love, and has taught me that it doesn’t matter what you have, it only matters who you have it with. I hope that one day I can grow old and tell my grandkids all the stories that my Nana has shared with me.